Coaching Call #112 – Her Abandonment and Self-Worth Issues are Impacting her Relationships
This client, like so many of us, felt unworthy due to an abandonment issue. These BIG topics can feel scary and insurmountable, which is why people often stop after identifying them and never shift them. We broke down the emotions and paved the way for moving into self-love and worthiness, without having to dig extensively into her past and finding the “cause”.
We used the example of the caller’s relationships as a basis to connect with the energy, but self-worth affects every aspect of our lives, so the topic we chose was really largely irrelevant. As part of the process, however, we also touched on how to deal with manipulative friends and family, setting boundaries without being petty, dealing with parental abandonment, and communication in relationships. Enjoy!
Topics covered on this call
- She’s feeling a lack of energy flow in her career and in her relationships. They are both related, so we picked relationships and focused on that
- She keeps having relationships that are fine for about 6 months, and then they go south
- Her last relationship started to fall apart when they never wanted to have sex at the same time (leading to no sex)
- They tried to “fix” it by having an open relationship, which didn’t work
- Why open relationships aren’t inherently bad, but what has to be in place for them to be a positive experience
- Now that they’re broken up, their sex life is better than ever
- Why you have to be willing to “fight” to have a healthy relationship (not the same as actually fighting all the time)
- Why confrontation doesn’t have to be ugly, but why belief that it does virtually guarantees a breakdown in relationships
- Why drawing good boundaries requires a great deal of self-knowledge
- The difference between deal breakers and being petty (which is a way of guaranteeing the failure of a relationship, thus proving a fear true)
- Digging down into the REAL issue – in this case, an abandonment issue tied to her father
- Why “daddy issues” may be cliché, but cannot be dismissed (and why they are so common)
- Why you don’t have to automatically respect your parents (and why your kids don’t have to automatically respect you)
- How to heal abandonment issues
- How can you tell is something is worth being upset about?
- She has a hard time figuring out why she feels the way she feels (and what to do about that)
- The difference between healthy confrontation (boundaries) and trying to change other people so you can feel better
- How to heal unworthiness (hint: it’s NOT by chanting “I’m worthy, I’m worthy, I’m worthy”)
- How to deal with those who try to manipulate you (yes, even family)