As you may have noticed, this Reality Creation work involves connecting and working with your emotions. Simple, right? Except… what if you can’t do that? What if you can’t connect with your emotions “on command”?
Today’s caller had that issue – she can’t often connect with joy, and when she does, it usually expresses in an exaggerated way. She can feel negative emotions, but as soon as she tries to conjure them in order to work on something, she can no longer get a hold of it. What gives? And what’s the fix? Watch today’s video to find out!
Coaching Call #376 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: How Does a Constructive Anger Release Help with Negative Energy?
This caller is stuck in a pattern of depression, shame, and manipulation. She’s tried working herself into anger to shift these patterns, but this just leaves her with a feeling of guilt. Her childhood was full of chaos due to abuse and she’s realized she’s still stuck in this emotional turmoil even though she’s now 44. She’s had therapy for her drinking and to work through her emotions, but this method of healing isn’t working for her, because it focuses too much on her powerlessness. She’s come to the end of staying stuck where she is, something has to give; something has to work.
This caller is very much in need of a constructive anger release to get her out of this cycle of doom of depression, shame, manipulation, and suppressing anger. So, during this call we picked a real-life situation where she felt anger towards a co-worker, but she hadn’t yet worked on releasing it constructively. Will a constructive anger release work for her?
Hey, my happy shiny puppies, this is Melody Fletcher, your go-to for everything Law of Attraction and Reality Creation. And today, I’ve got a treat for you! What follows is an excerpt from one of our live Q&A calls, where people just like you, students just like you, were able to ask me questions, and I answered them. And today, you’re going to get one of those. And, as you’ll see in the coming weeks, we’re going to be rolling out more and more of these.
And, if you’d like the chance to be a part of one of these Q&A calls, for free, then stay until the end of the video, and I’m going to tell you exactly how to do that.
Alright, I’ll see you on the other side!
Melody – Hello!
Caller – Hello!!
Melody – Hello, how do you say your name sweetheart?
Caller – Oh, no, it was perfect.
Melody – Gail?
Caller – Yes, it’s perfect.
Melody – Ok, fantastic!! Alright, how can I help you today, sweetie?
Caller – Actually, I have very big problems to feel my, to conjure the feelings into my body. So, when I want to express the feeling of what I want to manifest, I can’t quite get into the feeling actually. I can’t – even if I think of a good memory, it doesn’t do anything inside my body, so I can’t feel the feelings. Like, if I think of my cat or if I think of something good that happened in my life, I can’t actually get the feeling into me. Because, I want to get the feeling in order to manifest what I want. And so, I was wondering how you could help me with that.
Melody – Ok, so a couple of questions for you, right off the bat. When something is actually happening to you in the moment, do you feel it then?
Caller – Yes!
Melody – Good!
Caller – Actually, it depends.
Melody – Do you feel the good, and the bad? Or – what does it depend on?
Caller – The bad emotions, I have no issues at all to feel them, but something nice that is happening to me, sometimes, I have issues with it. Like, joy, for example, sometimes, it’s hard. But, when I get it, usually I’m all very emotional about it. Like, if I get access to the feeling of joy, then I’ll be overjoyed, like, it will be overwhelming, almost, like, super excited. But, otherwise, I have a very hard time with the feeling of joy or this type of feeling.
Melody – Yeah! So, there’s a numbing out that has happened there.
Caller – Yeah!
Melody – And, what that is, is, there’s some kind of – and we won’t have time to dig it up here together, because that’s a coaching session. But, there’s some kind of fear in there, that basically it’s not ok for you to feel positive emotion. And, that’s why it has to be really, really big for it to swap out, and then, it’s overwhelming. So, positive emotion is actually a negative thing for you.
Caller – Yeah!
Melody – There’s been an association of some kind, like, it’s either dangerous, or positive emotions also feels bad. And so, that’s something that I would take a look at with gently poking at it to see what that’s really about. What’s the belief that’s in there; what’s going to happened, if you feel positive emotion.
That’s something – I mean, a little exercise I can give you here is: As you go through your life, you know, notice the things that intellectually you know are, kind of, nice for you. And, it doesn’t have to be anything big. In fact, I would start with small subtle things, and try to see if you can let yourself enjoy them in the moment. And, that’s why we start with small subtle things because you don’t want to trigger this heavily, then, it won’t be any good. You won’t be able to do any shifts if you trigger it really big.
So, even if, you just sat down with a nice cup of coffee and you let yourself enjoy that. And then feel all of it, the comfort, the discomfort, the all of it. Allow yourself to let those feelings come up, and how uncomfortable or reluctant you might be to even enjoy a cup of coffee, and then, your mind might want to jump in and go: “That’s ridiculous; it’s just a cup of coffee! It doesn’t mean anything.” And, it doesn’t matter because that’s what you’re feeling, and it’s representative.
So, that’s how I would start with – small moments of pleasure and feeling your way through without beating up on yourself, without going: “I should be able to feel this more.” Go with what is, and just let yourself sit with what is. And then, you will probably get more data, and you might even have some epiphanies. But, that’s how I would start kicking that process off, is, going to small moments of pleasure, not the really big stuff yet. You don’t have to overwhelm yourself, or trigger it too hardy. And, the stuff that wouldn’t make any sense for you to resist, and yet, you do anyway, and then, letting yourself feel the feeling at that level, so it won’t shut you down. Does that make sense?
Caller – Yes, it does absolutely make sense. Also, so, for the memory thing, like, because right now, we are talking about when I do experience the actual experience, not the memory of it, but what about the memories? Because even if I try to remember something bad, I don’t necessarily get the feeling of it. Like, if I think about it by myself without trying to, I can actually feel bad, but if I try to think about something bad, I will not necessarily have the bad feeling.
Melody – Like, I said, it’s the same numbing out thing. And, what I would look at there, is, there’s a couple of different things that you can do. One of them is awareness, bringing awareness to how you feel, to whatever degree you feel without pushing against it. And, you can do that throughout the day. This kind of numbing out is a lack of awareness, like, an almost deliberate lack of awareness. It’s like – I’m not going to notice that; I’m not going to see that – because, for some reason it’s scary to do so if you do. But what you can also do is – and I think – yeah, you’re working with Tina, you’re working with a coach?
Caller – Yeah, I was.
Melody – So, my recommendation is, the other alternative you can do, is that you work with somebody who can read your energy, and then, let them help guide you through the process so that if your memory comes up, even though, you might not be aware of the emotion, they can be aware of the energy that you’re activating. And then, you can still shift things even without fully being aware of the emotion yourself.
Caller – Ok!
Melody – But, there’s two options. But, the first one doesn’t require anyone or any money, or anything, and that’s just you becoming more and more aware to what you can feel, and not focusing so much or beating up on yourself for what you can’t feel, or what you think you should feel. Because, as you focus on what you can feel, and you kind of celebrate that a little bit, at least to some degree, be happy about it a little bit – don’t beat up on yourself for it – you’re going to be able to activate that more, and more, and more.
But, this, I feel for you, I feel personally for you, personally, that this is going to take you a little while. Because I think you’re chewing on something way bigger here than you realize. And so, what I’m feeling from you is softly, softly is the way to go here.
Caller – Ok!
Melody – Because, if you try to push too hard, you’re going to get shut down, and you’re not going to go any further. And then, you’ll have to dig yourself out of that. It’s going to be too scary. So, I would say softly, softly, become aware of what it is that you’re feeling, positively and negatively. And, if you check out, that’s ok, don’t beat up on yourself. No beating up on yourself through this process; just welcoming it in, welcoming it in. Like scared, feral animals, you’re just welcoming them in, and being patient, and letting them come in. Don’t try to drag anything in. Does that make sense?
Caller – Yeah, but…
Melody – And, that wasn’t to scare you; that’s just to say, this will be much more effective and much faster if you take it incrementally and softly, and you’re gentle with yourself than if you try to hardcore this.
Melody – Yeah, but actually I’ve been doing that for many years now, because the second one is feeling my physical sensations. I started with practicing on meditation, feeling the sensation without judgment, so I did it for many years. And then, I shifted into a feeling, like, some type of meditation, much more in my own method where I was feeling all my difficult sensations in my body that was coming up. And, I have a lot of pains in, around my neck and my back. So I spent a lot – a lot of time during my day, like, many hours a day to feel my physical sensations, to stay with them, with unconditional presence, without judgment, to just feel. So, I just feel and, like, the actual physical sensations, and I stay with it, but it doesn’t shift. So, yeah, I can just be unconditionally loving, and unconditionally present, but it hasn’t for, like, 3 or 4 years – it’s been 5 years actually – it hasn’t changed.
Melody – No, no, there’s something in there. Like I said, I don’t have time to help you dig it out today, because this would take an hour or two. But, there’s something in there. And, I’m feeling it, and, I think, you’ve probably been wiggling away at it for a long time, and shaving off pieces. But there’s something in there that is coming. And, it is something that still scares you too much to be able to go after it full-bore. You have to be a little softer about it. But working with somebody, like myself, with Tina; whatever, that could help you speed this up.
But, I mean, I feel that there’s something in there. And, you’re obviously talking to me here today, so you must be closer. You must be closer, probably closer than you think. These kinds of protective mechanisms, they can be quite nasty to deal with because – not because they’re evil or they’ll hurt you, but because it’s so engrained for them to protect you, that they can be super over-protective.
And so, there are some really advanced techniques that I have that we can use to go after that kind of thing, that would require way more time than we have here to explain to you at this time. But we do have things that we can do in those kinds of situations. But sometimes it takes a while because, like, I said, we can’t go harder than we can because, otherwise, it just shuts you down, and that ends that process, and then, you’ve got to start from scratch again.
It’s part of the explanation to try to give you some kind of answer here today that will be in anyway helpful to you. Sometimes these big issues come up and it’s really difficult to give you any kind of relief off of a 5-minute answer, but to give you some kind of answer is: You’re doing it right; you’re doing it right. I know it’s taking way longer than you think it should, but I think, the journey is bigger than you think it is.
Caller – Ok! Ok, so, thank you for telling me that I’m doing the right thing. Because it’s been many years now, and I was like, I must be doing something wrong obviously.
Melody – No, I think it’s climbing a bigger mountain than you thought.
Caller – Ok! Ok!
Melody – Yeah?
Caller – Ok! So, I’m very glad I talked to you, so thank you very much.
Melody – Good!
Caller – Thank you very much.
Melody – You’re welcome. Thanks for playing with me Gail. Au revoir! Look at you; you made it all the way to the end of the video!! Good for you!
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Thank you for bringing your light to the world.