It’s the last day of 2018! It’s time to do our annual end of year review, and energetically set ourselves up to make 2019 the best year yet! You know, I keep saying that every year will be the best year yet, and… I’m always right!
Watch today’s video to find out how to deliberately whip 2019 into shape before it even starts! Yay!
Then leave a comment below and let me know what your goals for 2019 are!
Coaching Call#342 is out! The topic for this week’s call is: Can She Finally Get the Career That She Truly Wants?
This caller has always felt a calling to go after what she wants professionally. She goes for strong, big and ambitious job roles, and although her current career is going well, the drive and the purpose she desires just isn’t there. She feels drawn to a couple of new options, but, although she wants to make the move from her current role, having already changed her career many times, she’s feeling a reluctance to move again, because she’s also looking for the stability and the peace of mind of having found her life-long career. But, staying stuck in a career that’s not for her is something that she simply cannot do.
Is there really a problem with changing your career several times during your working years? Should we stay in our first job until retirement, even if we hate it, for the sake of stability? Is there more to her reluctance to move again than just her desire for stability? Can she line up her energy before she makes another move and give herself a better opportunity to find a job that gives her everything she’s looking for?
It is the last day of 2018, and today I’m going to share with you my year-end process so that you can energetically set yourself up to make sure that 2019 is the best year ever!
2018 has come to an end, and what a year it’s been. So now it’s time for me to share with you, once again, my year-end process. A little bit updated from what I have done in the past, to help you really set yourself up, energetically, to make 2019 the best year ever.
And you know, at the end of every year, I always say that the next year’s going to be the best year ever, and guess what? I’m always right!! It just keeps getting better, and better, and better. Now, that doesn’t mean that there’s not going to be a few challenges, and I’m going to be here to help you through those, but for today, I’m going to share with you 4 strategies that are going to help you set yourself up for next year, so that you can really, really go for your goals, and achieve what you want, and make huge amounts of progress, and really have as much fun as you possibly can.
#1 Review the last year and celebrate the positives
Ok, so the first strategy is to review the last year, but not to look for everything that you didn’t get done, the way that people normally do, and think about everything that went wrong, and everything you missed out on, and everything that you regret. What you really want to do is: You want to look for what you can celebrate. So, you want to look for what went right. Look for what you actually accomplished. Not where you didn’t accomplish as much as you would have liked to; focus on what you did accomplish in a positive way, and celebrate that.
Setting yourself up for a win
That’s going to really set you up for the win. It’s going to get some really delicious energy going. You’re not going to be coming at your next year from a place of dissatisfaction, you’re going to be coming into the next year from a place of satisfaction. Which makes it much easier to create beautiful, delicious, awesome things. So, if you want to create gorgeous things and positive things, then you need to get yourself into a positive energy. A good way to do that is to actually acknowledge that the past year, even if it was full of challenges, even if it wasn’t always easy, there’s certainly going to be some good stuff in there. I want you to find it, and possibly there’s going to be a whole lot of good stuff in there, and I want you to find it, and I want you to celebrate it.
And, really give that a few minutes. Don’t just do this for 20 seconds and go – “Yeah, this, something good happened. Fine! I guess that wasn’t horrible. Ok, let’s go onto the next year.” NO!! Really get some energy going so that you actually get into a place of celebration; you actually want to get into a place of whoo-hoo, at least internally, if not externally. You introverts: don’t worry, I’ve got your back.
But, get into a place where you really can feel truly good. It might take a few minutes to do that, so give yourself that time.
#2 Create real goals
Alright, so, step #2 is: You want to create real goals. I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions; because New Year’s resolutions are not real goals! New Year’s resolutions are things that you wish would happen, kind of half-ass throw them out there, and go: “I’m going to lose 10lbs next year. I’m going to quit smoking.” And then, by February 1st, usually you’ve forgotten all about them. You’ve made no progress on them, they just go away, and it’s just a reason to beat up on yourself at the end of the year. “Oh, I didn’t meet my New Year’s resolutions again. I guess I suck!” They really serve no positive purpose whatsoever.
A goal is something you truly want to do
So, I’m a big fan of creating real goals. These are not smart goals, and all of that sort of thing. Throw out all that project management, and time management education you’ve gotten, and look at what a real goal is. A real goal is a goal that is something that you actually truly want. Not the HOW of how you might get there, but what you truly want. The essence of what you want, which is always going to be a feeling instead of an action that you have to take. So, you have to actually truly want it. You have to make your goal achievable. That means that you have to find a version of your goal that is achievable and believable to you.
For example, if you say – I would like to lose 10lbs next year, and you don’t feel that you know how to do that because you’ve tried every diet and you’ve done all the exercise, and it’s not coming off. Then you just make that your New Year’s resolution again without having dug into that at all and found a new approach to it perhaps, then that’s not an achievable goal. You don’t even believe that you can do it. So, it has to be something that is achievable, something that is do-able, and something that you know that you can, and actually will do. That also means that you can’t try to force yourself to do something that you don’t want to do.
So, a real goal is not about stopping to do something, or forcing yourself to do something that you don’t really want to do. The pre-work to create the goal is actually rather substantial. You want to find a goal that is about something that you actually want to do. So, let me give you an example:
If you have decided that you want to quit smoking. If I was working with you and trying to help you figure out this goal, I might say, “Why do you want to quit smoking?” And you say, “Because I want to be healthier.” So then, I would say to you: “Well, then what you really want is to be healthier?” Right? And, you’re like, “Yeah! But I think I have to quit smoking to get healthier.”
Well, let’s throw that out for a minute because that’s a how. Right? Let’s go straight for what is it that you actually want? “I want to be healthy.” Then, you might come up with some things that will support your health. “What are some things that I can do, some things that maybe I can even action, that are going to help me feel healthy? Things that actually make me feel good.” Maybe smoking actually makes you feel good. And so if you try to get rid of something that makes you feel good without replacing it first, you’re not going to succeed because we are naturally inclined to go towards pleasure and away from pain. And, when you try to go away from pleasure, using sheer willpower, it will break down in a very short amount of time. Willpower was never meant to be used that way.
And so, what you want to do is: You want to find what it is that you really want, and then, find supporting actions that you can do that are already going to feel good. And, what that’s going to do is – you don’t have to force yourself to take those actions – if you find truly good feeling actions. So, it’s like this: “I’m going to force myself to eat more chocolate this year!” I wouldn’t have to force myself to do that. Right?? So, you want to find things that are truly delicious, things that are going to make you feel really good. So if you wanted to lose weight, for example, because you think it’s going to make you feel sexier, then your goal is to feel sexy. And now, you can come up with all kinds of things that you could do that are going to make you feel sexy. You’re not going to have to force yourself to do them. You might have to overcome a little reluctance, but it’s not going to be hard because it feels good. You want to feel sexy; it makes you feel sexy. But, here’s the trick:
If you actually start to engage in ways that help you to feel how you truly want to feel, then that thing you wanted to do, lose weight, quit smoking, will probably happen naturally, unless it’s about some other belief that you can then dig up. But, here’s the thing: You’re already giving yourself what you want. You’re getting into the frequency of what you want, and then, all that other stuff just lines up. Instead of trying to put the cart before the horse and do the action that’s going to get you – that you think is going to get you to what you want. You go straight for what you want.
#3 Stay away from the how
And so, step #2, was to find real goals. Step #3, ties right into that because it’s: Stay away from the how! Losing weight in order to get healthy is a how. Losing weight in order to get sexy is a how. Quitting smoking in order to get healthy is a how. Making a bunch of money so that you can finally get the house that you want is a how. Quitting your job so that you can travel might be a how. You have to take a look at it.
The how is not your job
And so, you have to dig into your goals just a little bit, because the how is not your job. That is you trying to argue with the GPS. Your job is to pick the destination of what you want, then, do everything that you can to get into that frequency, and then the GPS will line itself up and tell you how to get there. That will be your inspiration. So, even in your New Year’s resolutions or New Year’s goals stay away from the how.
#4 Focus on progress not perfection
The fourth tip I have for you is to focus on progress, not perfection. You actually want to build that in to your goals. You want to make your goals such that you can actually notice when something is getting better. When you’re getting better at it instead of just making the goal – “I will be done.”
And so, for example – the example I always like to use is – if you’re watching your son or daughter, a little child, start walking. You don’t sit there and poo-poo all over them every time they fall. You’re not like, “Aww, you fell. Oh my god; aww, there you go, you fell again.” We don’t do that. Right? We go – “Oh yay!! You took a step.” Doesn’t matter if they fall. “Yay!! You took a step. There he goes. Oh, you took another step.” We just celebrate the progress because we know that as you continue to make progress, that kid, in no time at all, is going to be running around at a speed where you can’t even catch him anymore. Right? So, he’s not just going to be walking, he’s going to be running. And, it doesn’t take very long to get there if you focus on progress and you cheer on the progress.
So, I want you to build that into your goals. For example, if you wanted to lose 10lbs, your progress would not be: “I have lost 1lb, I have lost 5lbs, I’ve lost 10lbs. – well, that would be focusing a little bit on progress – but a better progress would be, being able to get more in touch with your body. The fact that you’re naturally being drawn towards better choices; choices that you decide are better, that make you feel better. That you’re starting to honor yourself more. That you’re starting to balance things out, for example.
Those could be signs of progress, and when you understand the progression of manifestations, how manifestations come into being, then you understand that you really do need to focus on those progressive steps rather than just looking for the end goal. Because, there is a lot happening in between, and it can get really disheartening if you’re just waiting there and you think nothing’s happening while there’s a ton happening. And, it can give you a tremendous boost of belief and trust when you see that things are actually lining up, and you don’t have to actually sit around and just wait for some kind of sign. The signs are already there.
So, focus on progress, not perfection, making real goals.
My own personal review of 2018 and goals for 2019
As you know, I always like to give examples. So, I’m going to give you some examples from my own life of where I am right now. Just a few brief ones; I don’t want to make this video too long because you have a whole new year to start. Right? But when I did my little celebration, I made a whole list of things that happened in 2018, which by the way, wasn’t at all the year that I thought it was going to be. My goals are always very, very loose now, because I build in a lot of flexibility so that I can just be inspired to do whatever it is that I’m inspired to do. Right?
My weight loss achievement
So, when I went to do my celebration, of course my weight was at the top of the list. This is so exciting (and you guys, nobody even knows this, I haven’t told my clients this), as of this weekend, I weighed myself and I have officially lost 100lbs!! This year! Starting in about, I don’t know, March, something like that. And, its continued to come off, it has slowed down just a little bit. But the reason why I’m celebrating that is not because I lost that 100lbs, even though that was pretty cool because I did have, sort of, a loose goal that I would like to get to 100lbs loss by the end of the year, and then, it was like – just before the year. Whoo-hoo!! But, the reason why I celebrate this is because it is actually a much bigger achievement than losing 100lbs – which I have done before – twice – but the reason why it’s such an achievement is because I’ve lost it effortlessly, without dieting, without exercising; by eating everything and anything that I want. Now, I will qualify that by saying, I don’t want everything. I actually don’t eat very much, and I don’t eat, there’s a lot of things that I don’t want to eat at the moment. But, it’s not me depriving myself, in any way, shape, or form. And, the weight is absolutely melting off on its own. My body is leading this charge; I am simply following. I will make more videos on that. But, if you haven’t seen my video on my weight loss journey, I have made a big one that you can find, and we’ll put the link below in the description for you.
So, that was #1. Obviously, effortless weight loss, which is still an ongoing process, but yeah, worth celebrating. Right?
My 2 programs achievement
I created 2 successful programs: Reality Academy and LOA Academy, which I’m incredibly proud of. That was a crap load of work and I did not know I was doing either one of those at the beginning of the year. So, LOA Academy, which is the last that came out, is actually the foundational program, and I’ve been wanting that for years. I’m so glad that I waited for it to be truly inspired to come through, because it is an absolutely phenomenal program. I mean, we had a class that went through it where people were doing transformations that would normally take 2-3 years to go through, and they were doing it in a matter of weeks. I don’t take all the credit for its brilliance; I’m just so proud to be its mommy. And, if you’re sitting there wondering “What?! I missed it, when’s it coming out again?” It’s actually coming out again; we’ll open enrolment again at the end of February 2019. So, you will be able to get into that class if you want to. But, right now we’re talking about accomplishments and celebrations and I celebrate the crap out of that because both of those programs ended up being just absolutely phenomenal. So worth celebrating, right?
The third thing that I want to share with you that I celebrated, just very briefly, is that I had some massive insights this year on work-life balance which is something that I’ve always struggled with as a quintessential workaholic! To be able to find that balance where I’m actually really honoring myself and having as much fun as I possibly can. And, I will make a separate video on that because I have some insights to share with you on that, that might be helpful for you as well.
My goals for 2019
But those are 3 of things that I celebrated; just wanted to share those with you. So, out of that now I switch to making my goals. I spent some time getting really happy, like, “Oh damn, it was a great year!!” You know, dancing around the room. And then, I get to: “What do I want to do next year?” Now, my goals may not be your goals – my goals are very, like I said, very flexible, very loosely based, but I do have goals. So, one of those goals is to travel next year, and that was actually a goal that I set for 2018, but then, I was inspired to do something completely different. And when that happens, I just let the goal go. I’m like, that’s fine, I don’t sit there and beat up on myself, like I should make this happen. I understand inspiration, and if I’m inspired to do something else, powerfully, then that can just go away. But I do feel this real desire to get out and meet people, and it looks like it’s already lining up for 2019. Trips are already being booked, speaking engagements are coming in.
And so, my goal this year is to go out, and to meet people, and to connect more with people in person, which would be super fun for me. So, that’s my goal. And, that is something that I can measure, I can see that there’s progress on it. Am I getting out? Am I meeting people? Am I doing anything for that without it being something that requires perfection? There’s no done; there’s just, am I engaging more? Right? And, it is something that hits my heart.
The other one, another goal of mine would be to scale my business, which is kind of a goal that I have every year, and I make progress on it every year. And so, we’re kind of getting to a place now where we’re going to powerfully scale up, and I’m very excited about that! Also, a little bit nervous which means it’s a great reach goal. Right? A little bit of nervousness lets you know that you’re stretching outside your comfort zone.
And so, that’s another goal, is to keep scaling that business, keep bringing the message and the education to more and more people. And, that’s really a real heart-centered goal for me.
And then, another goal, and this is going to sound like a really wishy-washy goal, but it’s actually an incredibly important one, and one that I have every year, and one that I see progress on every year, which is just to continue to honor myself as much as I can. To become as authentic as I possibly can. And there’s always layers to that. So, no matter how authentic I think I already am, there’s always a way to take that further. And so, I always make that a goal every year. That is something that’s important to me; it’s something that I value greatly. You could actually make your values your goals, for example; to embody your values mores. That could be a goal. That is something that you can measure because you can see. It is subjective, but you can see for yourself, are you more, is it easier for you to become more authentic? Are you dropping those masks a little bit? Are you dropping your fears a little bit? Are you engaging with people in a more real way? Are you setting boundaries? When I say, honoring yourself, are you placing more importance on what other people feel than what you feel? Or are you starting to actually take care of yourself?
Those are some great goals to set, but you could also set the goal, if it’s really important to you, that you’re going to get a Ferrari this year. Whatever floats your boat!
Alright, that was my year-end review and New Year’s set-up process to help you make 2019 the best year ever!! And, you know it’s going to be! I’ve got so much more to share with you about why this year is going to be so phenomenal, but I’m going to pack that into a separate video. There’s going to be a lot coming at you in the next few weeks. So, I cannot wait to share all of that with you.
Until then, and for 2018, for the last time, I’m sending you big smooshy, smooshy hugs, and thank you for bringing your light to this world.
Bye, see you next year! Ha!