Do you ever get frustrated because even though you believe that you can actually create your own reality, and you’ve even had some success with it, the thing you want THE MOST, is just taking its sweet old time!? Well, then today’s video is for you. We’re going to be talking about time, and why the more important and significant something is for you, the longer it seems to take. So, stay tuned.
Coaching Call #324 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: How Can He Overcome His Triggers Around Sex?
For many years this caller has experienced resistance and feelings of unworthiness when it comes to women, dating and sexuality, and the connection he wants to have with women just won’t come together fully for him. He has a girlfriend and they share an open relationship, but this makes him feel like he’s living two separate lives, one where he’s happy with his girlfriend and one where he’s an unhappy single person who’s unable to connect to other women. As much as he loves his girlfriend he doesn’t know why he wants to date other women, whether it’s because of an issue from his past, or whether there might be something missing in his current relationship.
What’s pulling him to want to date other women when it brings up his resistance and feelings of unworthiness? What is it he’s actually looking for in his sex life? If he loves his girlfriend and wants to be with her, why are they in an open relationship? And, if we find out what’s behind his resistance can he release his negative thoughts about himself around women?
This call is for you if you want a better sex life! You’re welcome…
So, there you are. You have your one big desire, the thing that’s been driving you forward for years, the thing that maybe even motivated you to start searching for “alternative” information such as reality creation and the law of attraction. You want this thing SOOOO much! The idea of possibly never getting it causes you physical pain. Life isn’t really worth living if you don’t get this thing. And no matter how hard you try, you can’t seem to stop NEEDING this thing, even though you KNOW it messes up your ability to attract it. But, you’re doing your best to line up your energy. You’re aware of your neediness, and you’re working through it. You keep shifting and releasing belief after belief. Or, you might have already shifted every belief you can find. Your energy is totally aligned, you feel good, there’s no more need, and… nada. Your manifestation just won’t show up. Oh sure, you’ve seen some improvements. But the big Kahuna isn’t here. And it’s not on the horizon.
What the hell is going on? If you line up your energy, you’re supposed to be “rewarded” with a manifestation, right? You did the work. Where’s the payoff? Is the Universe just denying you your biggest dream, because it doesn’t like you? Did you do it wrong? Are you being punished?
No, no, and no. No one’s punishing you. Remember that the Universe isn’t a person. It’s more like a computer. It truly doesn’t judge you or your desires. Think about it. You can write the smuttiest, dirtiest, filthiest letter on your laptop, and it won’t once chastise you for your degenerate ways. It wouldn’t even occur to the laptop, because the laptop is not a sentient being with opinions. It’s a machine. And so is the Universe, although the technology is just a teensy bit more advanced. So, it’s not the Universe denying you your holy grail of manifestations.
And yes, you might still have some resistance left. If you focus on what you want and stuff starts to come up, you’ll need to clear that. I’ve talked a lot about that in other videos, so we’re not going to cover the basics here. This video is for those of you who’ve been doing all of that, and still aren’t getting what you want.
So, I’m going to assume that you feel pretty damn good when you focus on your desire, and that you’ve been clearing your resistance, such as fears that you might not deserve that thing, or that something bad will happen if you get it. If you haven’t done that and you’re not sure what I’m talking about, I’m going to link to all of my blog posts and videos on releasing resistance below, so you can check those out, as well.
But, for the purposes of this video, you’ve been releasing like a champ! And… no joy. Now what? And why is this happening?
Allow me to break that unbelievably frustrating shit down for you.
Are you tantruming fully?
So, first of all, you’ll have realized that no matter how dedicated you are to this work, every once in a while, you’re going to notice that you STILL haven’t received what you want, and you’re going to throw a tantrum. The more savvy among you are going to immediately recognize that the fact that you’re throwing a tantrum means that there’s still a part of you that NEEDS this to happen. In other words, you can’t fully feel the way you want to feel until you have this thing. Maybe you no longer NEED it to survive, but you feel that you NEED it to be happy. Or maybe you NEED it in order to fully believe that you can, truly, create your reality. If you’ve been working on something for a long time, you maybe NEED that thing to manifest just to justify all that time and effort. It might just be the principle. Whatever the case, if you’re throwing a tantrum, you’ve got a NEED.
And then, you might be tempted to shut that shit down and try to analyze that need. And I would suggest you do something else. In fact, I would suggest that you throw a MASSIVE tantrum. Even if you’ve thrown tantrums before, just REALLY go for it. Be childish. Be ugly. Wail and scream and cry, if you have to. Keeping in mind that a tantrum doesn’t have to be expressed with that much volatility. You can throw an inward tantrum, as well. Whatever works for you. But whatever your style and whatever the situation calls for, really give in to it. Totally surrender to it. Feel sorry for yourself. Get angry at the Universe, at God, even at me. Anyone but yourself, of course, if you remember the 3 rules of a successful anger release, which are 1.) do it by yourself so you or others won’t shut you down with guilt, 2.) don’t censor anything that comes out; think of it like taking a big, ugly, emotional poo. And 3.) you can get angry at anyone, or anything, EXCEPT yourself. That turns the energy back on itself and then it can’t release. I’ll link to my videos and blog posts on anger below, as well, if you want more education.
One of the things that may well have been holding you back a little, could be that you haven’t quite allowed yourself to FULLY let out your frustration, to FULLY throw your tantrum, whatever that means for you. There may well be some unexplored, unreleased pain in there that you haven’t admitted to. Your tantrums will help you let that out. So, releasing energy is like a detox, and releasing anger is like taking a poop. If you’ve ever physically detoxed, you’ll know that there’s a lot of pooping. Don’t analyze it, don’t dissect it (ew!); just let it go. It’ll make a world of difference. And yes, this will clear the issue that’s causing the tantrum in the first place.
It’s not JUST about releasing resistance
Another thing that trips so many people up when they’re going for their BIG HOLY GRAIL manifestation is that they don’t understand that it’s not JUST about releasing resistance. Now, I know that we spend a ton of time talking about resistance, and it can make it seem like that’s the only thing we need to do. But, I’m sorry to tell you, it’s not. It’s just the part that’s the most work. And it’s an integral and necessary part of the process, so we do have to bang on and on about it. There is, however, more.
You see, in order for you to manifest what you want, you have to become the version of yourself that lives in that reality. Now, you’ll probably understand part of what that means for you. As you envision what you want, and see yourself having it, you get into the feeling of how it will feel to have it. You begin to see yourself differently to at least some degree. But you may not have any idea just how different you might be, or exactly in what ways. So, there’s a process of discovery, and that takes a bit of time. For example, you might want to be rich. And you’ve realized that as a rich person, you won’t be afraid of bills anymore. You won’t worry about money. And you always know there’s more coming in. And… you work on those things.
You might have some fears to clear (aside for things like unworthiness and the like), such as fears that you might not know how to handle a lot of money, how to invest it, what to do with it, etc. You might actually find yourself hating the IRS more than ever before, because you’ll have to cut really big checks to them. And of course, you’ll want to work on those things, as well.
But you also need to level up. You need to expand your view of money, not just shift it to a more positive place. You need to allow yourself, through this process of discovery, to see money not just in a way that feels better, but in a way that you may have never even known about before. You need to allow yourself to discover a completely different point of view. These are going to be things that are well outside of your ability to imagine, so you have to let them come in incrementally, at exactly the pace that you can accept and integrate.
So, just as an example, if you want to be super rich, you may have not considered that you’d better get real comfortable with having staff in your home. You might have housekeeping staff, and a cook, a gardener, a pool boy, a personal assistant, or one or any combination of those. If you didn’t grow up with staff, you may not be at all comfortable with people serving you – especially in your own home. This would be an example of something you hadn’t considered, but which definitely plays into a really wealthy abundance vibe. Because I promise you, if you make $100 million a year, you’re not going to be scrubbing your own toilet. Unless that’s your thing, in which case, no judgment.
A lot of the time that passes as we wait for our BIG Manifestation is about us becoming the version of ourselves that has that. In fact, that’s what takes the most time. Everything else can be pulled together pretty quickly by the Universe, but we’re the stubborn ones. Always. So, throw every tantrum you want, and also trust that you are in the process of becoming a better version of yourself, one that you can’t yet fully grasp or see, but which does match what you want. The better you become at allowing that to happen, the easier and faster it will be.
Incremental change can be fun!
And finally, I want to talk about the joy of incremental change, and how we’ve basically been trained to hate and fear it. I know I talk about the education system a lot, but there’s a reason. Now, before I get on my soap box again, I want to make it clear that I’m not bagging on teachers. I know that many, many teachers are just as frustrated by the education system as the rest of us. My beef is with the system. And the way I see it, the Education system actually destroys our love of learning, and instills in us a deep fear of incremental change. Here’s how:
Most of our schools don’t really teach. They reward people for being naturally good at something, and punish those who aren’t. When I was at school, I was naturally good at the academic fields, especially Math and English. These things came easily to me, and I couldn’t understand why some kids struggled. But my least favorite topic was P.E., which is physical education. Because it was just an exercise, if you pardon the pun, in torture and humiliation and basically taught us to hate exercise. Which most adults still do. Years later, I realized a few things:
- The kids who were naturally athletic loved P.E., because they were already good at it. So, they got the A’s, while the rest of us were graded on our lack of natural ability.
- Those same kids felt just as tortured and humiliated in Math and English as I did in P.E.
- No one was really ever taught how to do Math or taught how to exercise. You either “got it” or you didn’t. I realized this when, and I was well into my adulthood by then, I was trying to climb down from a big rock while hiking with friends, and I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t figure it out. That kind of thing doesn’t come naturally to me. But when a friend came to my rescue and simply showed me how to do it, it clicked for me and I climbed down easily. I simply didn’t know HOW, and no one had ever shown me how. No one showed me how throw or catch a ball; how to actually run properly so you don’t hurt yourself; hHooowow to move your body joyfully. I was expected to already have those skills, or, well, I just wasn’t good at that.
And that’s the point. We expect ourselves to be good at everything right away, or we drop it. Or, perhaps, we push forward begrudgingly, but we certainly don’t enjoy it. We’ve forgotten how amazing and fun it can be to suck at something and then get better at it over time. We’ve forgotten that we can actually love this learning process, this becoming process. Because we were shamed heavily for not getting it immediately right, and already knowing exactly how to do something.
And yet, we’re always in the process of becoming. Even the things we’re good at, we’ve only become REALLY good at by getting better over time. Incrementally. We practice, we try stuff out, we experiment, and we pay attention to what works. It may be more subtle when we already have a natural talent, but the process is the same.
So, let’s give up on the idea that everything has to happen right this second. That we are either immediately a star at something, or we’re crap. Let’s focus on our progress and celebrate it the same as we would getting the BIG manifestation. Let’s look for improvements instead of perfection or doneness. How about we stop being the annoying dick in the backseat yelling “Are we there yet?! Are we there yet?!” over and over again, and just enjoy the ride, trusting that we are on our way and that we will get there? Because we always do. Eventually.
And I know that at least some of you are sitting there right now wondering how I can sound so confident about this, when my BIG manifestation, my weight, hasn’t been resolved. Well, it might be hard to tell on camera, because I mostly shoot from the shoulders up, but it is actually resolving. As of the shooting of this video, 70 pounds have simply melted away. And what’s even more exciting is that it’s happening exactly as I always wanted it to and knew it could – through no torture and no effort on my part. There’s no diet, no exercise, no deprivation, no anything. The fat just continues to melt away to the tune of about 3 pounds a week. And yes, I know that doesn’t sound healthy, but I’ve given up on those arbitrary definitions. My body knows exactly how to do this, and it’s in charge now. And yes, I will make a video on this subject, I promise, I’m just waiting for the inspiration. But I couldn’t not tell you. I mean….
Speaking of announcements…
I hope this video gave you some useful information on what to do if you’re getting really impatient about your big manifestation.
But, I’ve got another big announcement for you, and that is that after launching Reality Academy, which is a super down the rabbit hole, advanced energy shifting course, it became really clear to me that what people also really needed was a foundational course. A framework that covered all those things we tend to forget and which I have to remind even my most advanced clients (and myself) of over and over again. You know, those foundational principles that, if you don’t understand them, can sabotage your chances of manifesting deliberately. And of course, if you do understand them, it will mean that your success comes easily and nearly effortlessly. This is the stuff that I haven’t seen taught in any other LOA courses, the stuff they keep leaving out, which frustrates me to no end. And, of course, as with everything I teach, the information is finally going to make some freaking sense.
And so, over the last few weeks I’ve been putting together a new program called LOA Academy, which we’ll be opening enrollment on in the next couple of weeks. I can’t tell you how excited I am about this, and if you are too, and if you’d like to know more and be among the first to get notified about the program, what’s covered and how it’s going to change your freaking life, then click on the link below and sign up for the wait list. Since this will be the first time we launch the program, I’m going to be adding in all kinds of special goodies, so if there’s even a chance you might want to take a look at the class, then click on the link and sign up.
And, in the meantime, I want to send you all smooshy, smooshy hugs (I’m a hugger. Just let it happen), and thank you for bringing your light to the world.
Sign up for the LOA Academy Waitlist: https://melodyfletcher.com/loa-academy-waitlist
Posts and videos dealing with Resistance: https://melodyfletcher.com/tag/resistance/
Posts and videos on Anger: https://melodyfletcher.com/tag/anger/