I get a lot of questions from clients and readers about them having been betrayed by someone. Perhaps a cheating spouse, or a best friend who lied, or they found out that they couldn’t count on someone in the way they thought they could. And, as you may have noticed, that feeling is being amplified at the moment by stuff that’s happening all around the world. We can’t trust the media anymore, what with all the fake news. We can’t trust our politicians, scientists or institutions.
But… this is all actually part of something much bigger, and it’s a good thing. Watch today’s video to find out how and why (still got on my soapbox, though…)
Coaching Call #320 is out! This week’s topic is: Can She Release Her Belief That She Won’t Find A Man?
After being single for 2 years this caller is now ready to be in a relationship again. She knows that to align her vibration with the relationship she wants, she has to take the need out of wanting it and tune her energy towards a pure desire of wanting it.
She already knows what kind of relationship she wants – she wants one that feels both easy and good to her. She wants a relationship where she doesn’t have to work too hard at it for it to work, and she wants a guy who doesn’t spend time stressing her out.
So, is there a difference between needing a relationship and a desire to have a relationship? Is the energy of these two emotional states different? What will the Universe show us when we’re focusing on something from a need vs. a pure desire? And, the relationship that she wants, does that even exist?
Listen in to find out more!
This call is for you if you’re feeling more needy about manifesting something rather than having a pure desire for it.
It’s time to get on my soapbox again. And this time, I want to talk to you about the proliferation of “fake news” around the globe today, why this is so frustrating, and… why it’s actually a good thing. That’s right, you heard me! The fake news phenomenon is serving you. Stay tuned to find out how.
Ok, so I get a lot of questions from clients and readers about them having been betrayed by someone. Perhaps a cheating spouse, or a best friend who lied, or they found out that they couldn’t count on someone in the way they thought they could. And, as you may have noticed, that feeling is being amplified at the moment by stuff that’s happening all around the world. We can’t trust the media anymore, what with all the fake news. Of course, fake news has always existed, but isn’t just bubbling up in the consciousness now? We can’t trust our politicians, and no that’s not a huge revelation. But I feel like until fairly recently, we’ve all kind of made a joke out of the fact that politicians are untrustworthy. We kind of always expected them to lie. But we also expected them to have our backs when it comes to the BIG stuff. There was this unspoken agreement that they could get away with some things, but not too much, and they shouldn’t abuse the privilege. Kind of like letting your teenager drink a beer at a summer BBQ, with the agreement that this doesn’t mean he now has cart blanche to go and get shitfaced every night. Only, of course, our politicians have been secretly getting shitfaced pretty much 24/7, and now we’ve got some raging alcoholics on our hands, that aren’t really in touch with reality anymore, and like any addict, will pretty much say anything just to get you to leave them alone, so they can keep drinking, or snorting, or making backroom deals that screw their constituents, but give them the sweet, sweet hit of power without any sense of responsibility.
(I did warn you this was going to be a soap boxy one).
Let’s move on. We can’t trust the scientists anymore! Sweet, sweet science! And I’m not saying that we can’t trust SCIENCE, I’m saying we can’t trust the scientists. Again, this is all bubbling up now. In recent years we’ve found out that we’re being lied to by the pharmaceutical companies (surprise!), by our doctors, by publicity hungry “scientists” that care more about the headline than the accuracy of their data. Studies are routinely falsified, or just left out of results if they don’t match the desired and pre-determined conclusion. That’s not science, by the way.
Now, I’m not saying that all politicians, journalists, or scientists are bad or dishonest people. What I’m saying is that we have no real way of knowing if they’re being honest. But what we have figured out is that we can’t just take their word for it.
We can’t take anyone’s word for it.
Now, don’t worry, I can hear those of you who have a real problem with this statement. “Of course we can take their word for it!” you might be shouting at the screen now. “We have institutions and degrees to ensure we know who knows what they’re talking about. We have credentialed experts! Of course we can trust them!”
So, let me ask you this: Who credentialed those experts? What criteria did they use to give those credentials? What is your criteria for what makes someone truly “qualified”? Is that THEIR criteria?
Let me tell you a little story: When I worked in the Technology sector, I had a policy of only hiring people who actually knew what they were doing, regardless of certifications or formal qualifications. Many people with top certifications applied. But when we interviewed them properly, using real world examples and scenarios, they didn’t actually know what they were doing. They had passed a test, but they hadn’t passed OUR test. It turns out that in the Technology field, those with a bunch of qualification often spent their time getting qualified, while others actually learned their craft. It also turns out you can’t learn how to patch together a server that went out at 3 in the morning from a book. That comes from experience in the field, from actually doing the job. Now, qualifications can be useful, but they told us very little about the candidates’ actual skill level. We had to take the time to really test people ourselves to make sure that we hired the skillset we really wanted.
I’ve seen this strategy of relying on an outside authority to qualify someone’s skill or knowledge fail again and again. Because, quite frankly, it’s lazy. We just want someone else to do it. “You tell me if they’re alright, and I’ll just go with that.” And of course, that makes sense. It IS a lot easier to do that. And when it comes to stuff that doesn’t really matter that much, it’s just fine. To start…
But what it leads to is us getting disappointed over and over. Us feeling betrayed over and over. Because we trusted that outside authority, and they let us down. Over and over.
That’s like if you need a plumber, and your brother in law, who knows all about plumbing, recommends someone. And that plumber turns out to be crap. But you keep on asking your brother in law for more recommendations anyway. Or even worse, you keep hiring that plumber because, well, he MUST be good. He’s got your brother in law’s stamp of approval. So maybe you’re the one being difficult or unreasonable. Until one day, you’re standing in your house, flooded with water, with open pipes sticking out all over the place, wondering how it could come to this…
It came to this because you outsourced your decision making.
Now, the concept I’m about to explain is not an easy one. But it is powerful, and profound and it will set you free. If you have a bit of an issue with manipulation in your life, this will help a great deal.
Like I said, it’s all about NOT outsourcing your decision making.
And I get it. Making all your own decisions sounds overwhelming. You’re probably imagining researching everyone you meet, everyone you might want to engage with, having to know every detail of every issue. Oh, and I guess you’d better start doing your own scientific experiments! You know, just to be sure. Because you can’t trust anyone.
But that’s not entirely true. Now I know, the title of this video is “Why you can’t trust anyone…”. But there is one person you can trust. And that person has access to wisdom greater than you can comprehend. That person has a built in bullshit detector that can instantly flag any bit of inauthenticity. That person has a built in guidance system that lets them know what is the right decision for them, no matter what the data says.
That person is you.
Now, you might be thinking “What?! I have a bullshit detector? You must be talking about someone else Melody, because I’ve been fooled by many a liar! I’m a total sucker! They don’t even have to be good liars, I fall for it almost every time!”
Yes, even you. Even you who has been bamboozled time and time again have a bullshit detector. You have a guidance system. Now, I didn’t say you were good at USING them. That takes training and a bit of practice. Well, it wouldn’t take training if you hadn’t been trained OUT of using these abilities, but since you were trained out of it, we all were, it takes a bit of training to get them back full force.
Ok, so you don’t have to go and learn everything about everything. And it doesn’t mean that you can never read a scientific study that was performed by anyone other than you, personally. Or that you can’t believe anything that anyone says, ever again. You can delegate the gathering of data. You can accept that raw data from any source that offers it. In other words, you can accept data from any direction in your life, from any person, any resource, even any institution.
But what you can’t delegate or outsource is your decision making. Which data you accept as valid or not. Which source you accept as “qualified” or not. And most importantly, which conclusion you’re going for.
And when you know how to do this, you don’t have to be able to trust anyone, ever again. No one will be able to betray you. Because you don’t be trusting them. You’ll be trusting yourself. And when you can do that 100%, no one can lie to you. You can’t be led astray. You can’t be betrayed. You can only ever betray yourself.
So, I’ve got 2 techniques for you. One’s a little milder than the other; it depends on where you’re at in your journey. So, don’t think you have to do both of these. Just listen to them, let them wash over you and see which one or ones resonate with you. This is how you’ll develop the skills you need so that you can trust yourself and your own inner guidance.
The first tip I want to share with you is: Qualify the information, not the source. So, all the data bombarding you from all sides, take a look at the information itself, and discern if it resonates with you, vs. just trusting that it will, because it came from a “trusted source”. As we’ve already figured out, we can’t really trust anyone. We can’t ever really guarantee that they actually know what they’re doing or that they’ll have integrity in what they do. Which means, some people we trust will sometimes give us bogus information, for whatever reason, some innocent, some not, and people we totally distrust can also occasionally tell us the truth. So, we should regard or disregard something someone says just because of who they are. Take a look at what they’re saying. Take a look at what they’re doing. And just because they did one thing that was good, don’t just dismiss the next thing they do that’s bad.
And this doesn’t mean you have to be hypervigilant. Just make up your own mind as much as possible. Question your assumptions. Question what you’ve been accepting as true, which you never really made your own decisions on. You simply accepted someone else’s decisions. I’ll give you a cute and funny example because this video is in danger of getting a little bit too heavy and I haven’t taken you all the way to a good feeling place yet. But don’t worry, I will.
So, a couple of years ago, I discovered the feather duster. It’s not that I didn’t know they existed, but not in my immediate reality. I’d never used one, owned one, or even seen one used. So, one day, I saw one at the store and was inspired to buy it. I figured it would make it easier to clean off hard to reach places like the tops of ceiling fans. Well, when I got home and unpacked it, a whole different world opened up to me. One where I could dust my whole house in minutes. You see, I’d been taught by my German upbringing, that it wasn’t clean until you’d scrubbed it within an inch of its life, and then doused with water. So dusting in my house was done with a bucket of water, some kind of cleaner, and loads of elbow grease. I had been taught that this was the only way to really clean, and I accepted that as truth. There was our way of doing it, and then there was living in filth.
But then, I discovered the feather duster. It cleaned perfectly well. Ok, I didn’t clean the toilet bowl with it, but in terms of dusting, it did a great job. It was quick, it was easy and it was fun! It totally defied what I’d been taught. You see, for me, the older women in my family were the authority on cleaning. They were THE authority on cleaning. So, nothing anyone else said ever held as much weight. If they disagreed with the whole scrubbing things till they disintegrate, they just didn’t truly understand cleanliness, the way we did. I had to accept this new data, and it allowed me to let go of doing things the way I’d been taught, simply because I assumed that must be the best way.
Because surely, my grandmother, my great-grandmother, my great-great-grandmother, all tested every possible product and method available to clean stuff and came up with the best possible way, right? RIGHT? Only, of course not! First of all, they didn’t even have access to all the products and technology we have today, I mean, I doubt they’d even heard of the Swiffer, but they were simply doing what had been taught to them. It wasn’t the best way. It was the only way that was offered.
You have the ability to figure things out for yourself, just like I figured out that there was a perfectly legitimate and effective alternative to scrubbing everything like a scullery maid. And I know this seems like a silly little example, but I think it perfectly illustrates just how trapped we can become in our assumptions that the one way we know is the best way, which is what happens when we put more stock in whom the information came from than the information itself.
Ok, so my second tip for you is to never assume there are a limited number of options for outcomes or solutions. At a deeper level, this is all about duality, and that’s something that’s coming up in a big, big way right now. Everything is being boiled down to black or white, good or bad, right or wrong. We’re always trying to make things fit into one side or the other. And, we’ve always done that, but we’re just now seeing how big of a problem that actually is. Because when we assume that the options we’ve been presented with by the authorities or experts are the “right” ones, we exclude any other conclusions or solutions, including the solution we might want. DON’T let someone else tell you what’s possible, especially if what they’re presenting to you, if what they’re saying is possible, doesn’t feel right to you.
This is a manipulation tactic! “You must choose between A and B!”
“But wait…”, you might say, “I don’t like either one of those!”.
“Well, you must choose between A and B! There are no other options!”
And so, you get all stressed trying to decide which is the least bad option, A or B. Or, you could decide that the whole premise of having to choose between A and B is wrong. Why says? If you don’t like either option, start defining what you do want, and start looking for an option that supports that. Assume that an option like that is out there, because it always is. You couldn’t even manifest the thought that it might be if it wasn’t.
So, once again. You’re not just accepting information as true. You’re questioning assumptions and authorities, and you’re thinking for yourself.
And yes, I can the objections again. If we can’t trust anyone, and we can’t trust the authorities, won’t society break down? Well, look around! Society is already breaking down.
You see, so much of how we live is predicated on a trickle down system. Someone at the top, some expert, authority or person clearly smarter and more qualified than us, has all the facts and the info. And they will share with the rest of us idiots as appropriate and as we can handle it. Which of course they will, and it will never be to our detriment, because they only have our best interests at heart. And this is how it’s been, because we’ve allowed it to be so. We’ve accepted it. “Oh, you’re right. Little old me can’t possibly comprehend the fabricated and totally unnecessary complexity of these issues, so you just go ahead and tell me what to do.”
And now, we’re waking up to the idea that we don’t want others making decisions for us. It’s like humanity is finally growing up. As we grow up, as we mature, we all hit a point, or multiple points, where we come to the realization that we’ll never be happy in a situation unless we decide for ourselves how we feel, what we want, and what’s possible.
So, the journey to being able to trust yourself fully may be a little bit bigger than you imagined, but it doesn’t have to take that long. It does take a little bit of re-education and practice. I’m doing my best to provide that education here, but the practice is up to you. Here is what I CAN tell you, but of course don’t take my word for it, discern for yourself how this feels: if you begin the process of thinking for yourself, gathering data, evaluating the data instead of the source, making decisions based on what feels better, and not accepting foregone conclusions that don’t feel right to you, you’re going to learn pretty quickly that your life gets a lot better. That you drop a lot of stuff that drains your energy. You’ll no longer do stuff you don’t really want to do, just because, well, that’s how it’s always been done. You won’t be pressured into making a decision that doesn’t serve you, simply because someone else said you have no other choice. You’ll never have to be scared that someone you love will betray you, because you’ll make every decision based on your own inner guidance, and not just because they told you to. You’ll no longer be making anyone else responsible for your happiness, for your success, and for your reality. And then, you’ll finally be free.
So, let me know in the comments, if this video was helpful for you. What parts of this awakening process are you struggling with? These videos are often inspired by someone’s question in the comments, so let me know yours.
As always, if you’d like to learn more about how manifesting actually works, and what the human being is actually capable of, come find me at melodyfletcher.com. There are over 600 blog posts and videos you can read and watch for free. As well as over 300 pre-recorded coaching calls you can listen in on, on pretty much any topic you can think of. So, there are tons of resources for you to search through, as well as my book, which is linked in the description. Lots and lots of data for you to gather and sort through, if you’re so inspired.
Until next time, thank you for bringing your light to the world.