How to Not Care What Other People Think (or… Why I Curse) | 30 Day Video Challenge 11 of 30

 

Oh, ok. I’m finally going to address it: Why do I choose to curse in my videos, on my blog and even in my book? I’ve received some criticism of this over the years, but it hasn’t stopped me. Why not? How dare I not cater to every single one of the masses! Sheesh. It’s almost like other people’s opinions don’t have any sway over me…

Well, they don’t. And if you want to find out what the mindset of someone who is truly free of other people’s opinions and is no longer held back by them looks like, watch today’s video below.

 

 

About the Author

  • Good for you Melody. I think one of the greatest things we can do for ourselves is “not give a rip what anyone things of you.” That’s why one of my more popular posts is, “What you think of me is none of my business.” Let us all listen to our inner guidance and come from there–and the people who are ready and able to hear it will be there and the others will just fall away. Keep up the good work! ~Kathy

  • Avatar Shan Phoenix says:

    Great post.

    Swear words are just words. I don’t get the issue with it. Offence is decision and caused by the limiting beliefs of the ‘judger’.

    I would love you to extend this into judgement and imposed opinion and how to handle it.

    For example, if someone hears about something you have done or are going to do, and disagrees, and goes further into judging you, how do you stay out of the energy battle, even though they have it wrong and you may feel compelled to explain, but you don’t feel like you should.

    Hope that makes sense.

    Thanks for your posts and your insight!

    Shan x

    • Avatar Mary says:

      Was thinking the same thing. How is a swear word worse than saying, ‘you are a loser’.?
      Also agree w/Melody – they are so effective in getting the meaning across. If someone is avoiding a swear word and using a lot of other words to get the same meaning, I loose track of what they were saying in the first place.

  • Avatar Catherine says:

    I fucking love this!

    I grew up not being allowed to swear because “it’s unladylike” and at 30, I still get told off by my family if I do it. So years of conditioning have made me think twice about swearing in front of certain others. I don’t generally swear like a sailor but love a good ‘guck! ‘ to help drive my point home sometimes.
    I was on a first date a while ago and I was telling a story and used the word ‘fuck’ expressively. As soon as I said it I kind of paused and just sheepishly smiled and then continued my story hoping he didn’t hear how ‘unladylike’ I was. He then stopped me and said, “it’s okay if you swear”. The date didnt go anywhere but just nice to know I wasn’t as unladylike as I’d been told!!

  • Avatar CJ says:

    For me it comes down to authenticity. If you’re really feeling a lot of anger or frustration it’s normal and healthy to swear, and it doesn’t bother me in the least. But then again, if you’re swearing a lot, doesn’t that mean you’re chronically angry and/or frustrated? If so, then dive into those feelings and see what needs changing.

    Sometimes people who swear a lot aren’t chronically angry, but instead they have learned to use swearing as a way of appearing irreverent/cool. They want to convince themselves that they aren’t fussed about others opinions. It’s the reason teenagers swear a lot. It’s a coping mechanism, but ultimately it’s a crutch that needs to be thrown away.

    • Avatar Lorna Levy says:

      If you are “swearing a lot,” it doesn’t have to mean either that you are “feeling anger and frustration” or that you are attempting to “appear irreverent/cool.” It might be 1. for emphasis, and as Melody says, sometimes it’s the appropriate word, or 2. because it can be funny in the moment. It’s just another word, after all. And if it really “comes down to authenticity,” then it is not “a crutch that needs to be thrown away,” but a way of self-expression that needs to be embraced! There is a lot of judgment and condemnation in your words under the guise of “doesn’t bother me a bit.” Take a look.

  • Avatar deb says:

    LMFAO!!!!!
    I Love swearing 🙂
    It’s so freeing!

  • Avatar Darice Cairns says:

    Hi Melody,

    I love that you are so open and raw and if that means you swear, of well so what! You are right, you have to be authentic, especially in the work you do. We need more authenticity in the world. I’ve never had issue with your swearing, or I should really say, I’ve never had a problem with who you really are and how you express yourself. Keep rockin’ it!

  • Avatar Solace says:

    Hi Melody,
    I had to pause the video halfway just to say this. I know where you are coming from as i did come across some adverse response to your video a few blog posts before. But even in my over eager beaver mode, i didn’t have the guts to respond to the same..my mind started bleeping blackhole..bail..bail..so i ignored…thought you did too.
    I have never in my last three years of following this blog come across an instance where you swore out of turn..when you do use those words..they sound cathartic to me 🙂
    You are one of the few LOA teachers who advises people to leave an abusive situation rather than working on your vibe..what i mean to say is that sometimes a go to hell attitude in our words/action is essential for our self-preservation and well being.
    Have a great 19 days ahead..i won’t be posting again as i need to learn and stabilize more..just want to say that i am so thankful that you chose to share this journey with us.

  • Avatar Merwin says:

    Honestly the relaxed, unedited way you talk was one thing that made me feel like you are the teacher for me in this moment. Since reading your book and releasing a lot of resistance over the years, I realize I don’t get offended as easily as I used to in the past. And language is the least of my concerns. I curse when I’m trying to get a point across or in some great emotion. It’s just natural for me. And I do believe we need to give ourselves permission to be who we are, and then we’ll attract those who resonate with us.

  • Avatar Rose says:

    Melody, you are wonderrrrffullll!! Plus, you have such a nice nose. Your videos keep me going! I don’t want the 30 days to end. But maybe after that, you will surprise us with something else maybe? About cursing, for some reason, although [email protected]%k is such a versatile and remarkable word, it just doesn’t sound too good when some people use it. To me, it sounds great on blog posts and books when the author is trying to make a point etc but it’s so uncool and unprofessional in shared office spaces and more so when the person doesn’t respect others and is incompetent.

  • Avatar Kimber says:

    I love that you chose to speak specifically about cursing. I am a magazine editor and an author and I lovvvve to curse, and I love defying the snooty stereotype that only unintelligent people swear. Furthermore, my argument has always been, WHO SAID that was a BAD word? Seriously, some dude up in a tower somewhere one hundred years ago decided to wield power over people’s minds by controlling their speech? Anyway. I loved the shit out of this video, fuckin A.

  • Avatar Amy says:

    Melody, hi. How are you? Very interesting video about being authentic. I know what you mean; some teachers have great content but the energy is just not there. I think it’s in the voice. Anyway I was wondering this whole authentic thing with what we’ve talked about before in previous posts. By the same token can’t I say I’m going to ask people how old they are because that’s my authentic self? Should I be trying to change my belief about needing to know ages? Because I honestly don’t see a problem with simply lining up with people who are willing to tell me how old they are and working on that vibration that feels good to me. What do you think?

    • Yes, line up with people who will happily play with you, and tell you their age. And if someone has an issue with it, then let them go. They’re just not wanting to play that way. 🙂

  • Avatar Mara says:

    My aha moment…..I FUCKING LOVE YOU! And that is what I think about cursing ????

    • Avatar Amy says:

      Melody thanks for responding. I know you told me before that it’s a fear based belief and all that but I have manifested people willing to play. People who’ve told me all on their own without pushing the issue at all. I guess it’s okay to feel good when something good happens like someone tells me their age but not feel bad if they don’t. It’s that second piece I have to work on. Thanks Melody!

  • Avatar Lee says:

    Melody thanks for the Authenticity you brought today .

    I must fucking give myself permission rather than to miss a great opportunity .

    Thanks , Lee

  • Avatar Cordy says:

    Cursing is so funny to me. I have a child, and trying to explain why “shit” is offensive but “poop” is not to a very curious, skeptical, tapped-in kid who is still in touch with their inner guidance has, multiple times, made me chortle like a maniac and feel like I was in an altered state.

    Do you guys ever have the thing where if you take a step back, cultural taboos seem almost uproariously funny and ridiculous? It’s cool if it’s just me, I’ll just be over here laughing to myself.

    • Avatar CJ says:

      Hi Cordy,

      I think we attach a negative charge to swear/curse words, which is why they can offend. If someone says ‘shit’ it might offend us if we are feeling great about life. But if we feel angry or disillusioned with life, we can relate to someone swearing because there’s a common feeling being expressed. It gives us permission to own our anger.

      People can say “yeh cursing is fine!” and then you say ‘cunt’ and it’s like the sun has dropped out of the sky. So yeh, there’s a lot of unwritten rules in society, and they relate to the most heavily shamed aspects of our nature.

      • Avatar Cordy says:

        Well… yeah. Obviously I understand that there are a lot of unwritten rules. That’s what’s so funny. Words are just attempts to capture vibrational content. Sometimes the word and the vibration of the person using it line up, at other times they don’t. I don’t agree that all cursing is about being angry. It totally depends on the person and the situation.

        • Avatar CJ says:

          What else could it be about, other than anger or frustration?

          • Avatar Cordy says:

            Really? We must have really different experiences. I don’t believe or experience that people who are swearing only do it because of anger or frustration. Sometimes people use the strings of sounds our culture has designated as [this is a curse word] because they’re mad or frustrated. Sometimes people use those those same sounds to express surprise or amazement, sometimes it’s for rhythm or emphasis.

          • Avatar CJ says:

            Really. Someone who swears when surprised is expressing anger. Someone who swears when amazed or impressed is probably expressing a subconscious frustrated desire, since when used in this context, the expression usually involves ‘fuck’ or ‘Jesus’ rather than ‘shit’ or something to do with the genitals. You don’t observe an amazing golf shot and say “cock”, for example.

          • Avatar CJ says:

            Correction, that should read: “you don’t observe a great gold shot and say ‘asshole'”. The word used has to be linked with something desirable that you have frustration around.

            The people who say ‘Jesus’ as a swear word are probably those who failed at Catholicism! And those who say ‘fuck’ the most are those who aren’t getting any. There’s always a link to subconscious anger and frustration.

          • Avatar Cordy says:

            Those are your opinions, for sure!

    • Avatar Edelweiss says:

      Love this, Cordy!

    • It’s not just you, Cordy. I love to play this game where I question a taboo – why is this not acceptable, and watch people trying to come up with an explanation. Until the light comes on and they realize there isn’t one. We’ve just accepted it as taboo! LOL.

      • Avatar Sim says:

        People without filters light up my switchboard! They are so authentic.

        I laughed my head off at all the swearing in the comments 🙂

        It’s delicious to engage with wonderful people

  • Avatar CJ says:

    It probably depends how you say it too. Even ‘shit’ can be very offensive if there’s a lot of bitterness and hatred in it. I do this all the time, unfortunately. Later on I remind myself to deal with my issues. I can rant like the best of them.

  • Avatar Z says:

    You are the only LOA teacher so far that I’ve found, that has this awesome humor. I loved it from beginning. It certainly makes the blog posts (and videos) less serious, and there is just positive energy in it. I do understand why people can be bothered by it, because I used to be bothered by a lot of things. However mindfulness and non-identification with dislikes has done a lot for me. Many things that used to bother me just don’t anymore. And there are some things that I didn’t like (like the sound of certain foreign languages), that now I adore! It’s amazing seeing that resistance dissolve. 😀

    I love these videos, keep on! 😀

  • Hello Melody,

    I love your no-nonsens language 🙂 !!
    I love it that you dare do that and that you don’t give a rip of the opinion of others!
    You are a great example for me to dare to do that in my life !
    Love, Karin

  • Avatar Susanne says:

    Dear Melody,
    I love this! I curse, not a lot, but once in a while when I feel like it. However, I have had some energy to shift concerning how to deal with cursing in relation to my kids. Out of cultural reasons I have not been wanting them to curse. However, it is very difficult to set up rules for kids when you your self have no intention following them….So a couple of weeks ago when I had been informed twice that my son (8 years old) had to mind his language at school, I realized that I had to be completely honest and I told him “some people get offended by cursing and that is why there are rules in certain public places like school, where cursing is not allowed. At home, in your room, you can curse all you want” And he totally accepted that. Your video just confirmed to me that I finally have found a way to relate to the issue with kids and swearing in a way that I am at ease and comfortable with. Thank you <3

  • Avatar Lori says:

    Really Mel? You have such a potty mouth! WTF????
    LOL! People must have very boring lives if this is such s big concern…. especially
    in this day and age.
    Sometimes nothing says it like WTF or ” Shit!”
    Its nice to have a REAL person lending us a
    guiding hand as we travel our path!
    HUGS

  • Avatar MJ says:

    Thank you again for your relevant message. I have been compromising who I am to feel safe in my life. I’m aware of it but I have got into the habit of being the way I feel they need me to be, to survive. You have reminded me of one of the best compliments I ever had in my old job, you are a ‘ human nurse ‘. That really did get to me. When I swear it usually is passion about something or just sensing that that other person needs me to do that to relax themselves. Then I’m being more me anyway. Funny story, I had a small but painful procedure on my wrist whilst still in my uniform and a swore out loud, it hurt. The matron in charge told me off because there where patients about!!! I thought what the fuck am I right now !!!!!

    • Avatar Ann says:

      Too fucking funny MJ lol!

      • Avatar MJ says:

        I’m glad that tickled your fancy! I’m brand new to this sort of thing and you are my first reply ever. Thank you. Where are you in the world? Curious

        • Avatar Ann says:

          The prairies in Canada and I know a few nurses up here who speak a more flavorful tongue haha. In your profession I can’t imagine surviving a day without a few swear words 🙂

  • Avatar Alexandra says:

    Can we be the “HAPPY FUCKING SHINY PUPPIES” from now on?! ????????????

  • Avatar Summer says:

    In today’s world of people who are “offended” by everything, it’s nice…….wait no…..fucking nice to see someone say “Hey no one is forcing you to be here”. There is nothing wrong with taking offense. Hell there are things that offend me, but I either move the fuck on or I take a look and try to find out why it bothered me. This video was right up my fucking alley! I think cursing is fun and sometimes there is no better word to express something than FUCK!!! 🙂
    And I wouldn’t say “hell” in front of my mom, so yes, it’s a curse word. Well to me and her it is anyway. Lol!

  • Avatar Sarah says:

    Fuck yeah! Melody, you’re awesome. I am love love loving your videos, they are the highlight of my day. I don’t have a problem with your kind of swearing in the slightest – you swear how I swear and I don’t even really register it when you’re talking. However, having just left a sometimes verbally abusive relationship, I can tell you I hate swearing when it’s intended to hurt me – it’s hurts more than other words then.

    A memory came up for me too – so I’ve been following your blog since 2012 I think. When you first started doing videos, I couldn’t watch them – I had to read the transcripts instead because I experienced your happy shiny energy as annoying (sorry! I felt the same way about Abraham as well. I wasn’t quite ready I think). I can’t remember when the shift in me happened, but it was a long time ago now and ive been loving your happy shiny energy since then. I’m thinking maybe it’s the same for some people who don’t like the swearing. There is something offputting about authentic people to inauthentic people.

  • Avatar Judy says:

    Thank you! Excellent post.

  • Avatar Edelweiss says:

    Great video! I love how there are hierarchies of swearwords. It is perfectly OK for some people if you say ‘shit’, but ‘bitch’ will get them or ‘fuck’ might be OK, but don’t use a word that is deemed more unacceptable. I got into trouble the other day for using the word ‘bell-end’ because that is apparently very, very bad. I didn’t really think it was, but now I know not to use it in this particular community.

    My grandmother was Dutch and she swore like a sailor. It was hilarious having this little old lady with her blue-rinse hair swearing. So I really haven’t had an issue with it. And the Dutch have the best swearwords!

  • I think your cursing is delivered on point, in time and packs power, happy and shiny power, in it too! I usually end up laughing out loud and it just lifts up my mood, so, THANK YOU! By the way, your blog post images do the same! I’ve saved a few of them to enjoy when I want to go for a good laugh! 😉 Fuck Yeah! LOL!

  • Avatar Jon says:

    Swearing is part of the music and the poetry of language. It’s creative, expressive and nothing to get uptight about. If people don’t like it, well, fuck ’em!

  • Avatar Mary says:

    I’m one of the ‘shy ones’ that doesn’t post much, more of a ‘lurker’.
    I also am one of your puppy army cause I got goose bumps when you were talking about it.

  • Avatar Monique says:

    Shit Melody!! I think you fucking rock!! And I totally agree about it just being what we need sometimes to convey how we really feel. You are a wonderful inspiration and I so wish that someday I could find the courage to do what you do, but for now I’m still a super big scaredy cat who values everyone else more than myself and is completely unable to do anything that might actually please me.

  • Avatar Bobbi says:

    I’m almost 61 and a professional in a somewhat conservative career field. Most people (at least initially) think that I’m very conservative because of the way I dress and how I carry myself. So it’s fun to let loose with an expletive every so often, cause folks are shocked. 🙂

  • Avatar Amber says:

    I just realized that even in all my growth of caring less about what people thought, there were still parts of me that still gave a fuck. Thanks for this video because I just dropped all fucks. I choose to be me unapologetically! I’m going to be my woo woo 5d, out of this world self lol oh yeaaaa!!!!! Thanks melody for bringing your light and helping us to see our own!

  • Avatar Aurore says:

    I feel sad for those offended by such a funny,
    shiny, happy, shining light as you, Melody – as they are so missing out on all your fantastic wisdom :).

  • Avatar April says:

    I don’t mind cursing at all… It can be fun, comical, add emphasis, etc. Like, just now, I took a bite of my dinner, and mind you, I was pretty hungry prior to this bite, and I said, “holy shit”, because this shit is good, okay. Something like “mmm!” or “yummy” does not suffice here !

  • Avatar Stacey says:

    Fucking Brillant! I needed this. I have been holding my true self back in order to make others comfortable. No more! By the way, saying fuck increases your hotness factor exponentially. Thx!

  • Avatar Marjorie says:

    Melody!!! FUCK YEA! I miss you and I am loving your videos! If I close my eyes it’s just like you’re talking to me 🙂

    Love ya!
    Marjorie

  • Avatar Ann says:

    I’m not much of a poster either but rather more of a “lurker” just like Mary lol, but I’ve been sitting here reading all the posts and getting teary-eyed as I feel everyone’s energy pouring out. I started swearing when I felt like it a couple of years back after discovering you Mel and I can’t get over how it has helped in my healing journey. I swear when I’m angry, upset, excited, happy or just full of too much energy regardless of the kind. Sometimes I just swear to hear my own self if that makes sense. It is an easy, easy way to release things or to express something that there is no other word for. I’m not obsessive about it but I don’t censor it either. The Universe knows exactly where I’m coming from and that’s all that matters.

  • Avatar Karen says:

    Melody, I’ve been with you since the beginning one of the reasons I love you (you are the “only” blog I subscribe to) is because you throw in an occasional “sentence enhancer”! Great post!!

  • Avatar Isabelle says:

    Melody, I have the opposite situation of yours. I don’t do very much “cursing”. Until people get to know me really well, my lack of cursing often makes those who curse feel I’m above it and acting stuffy or superior. But, like you, if I try to talk in a way I’m not accustomed, I feel very fake. It’s just not the “me” I know. I have as many friends and family members who don’t curse at all, as I have those who curse a lot. I love and enjoy them all. I hope my way of writing blog commentaries hasn’t made anyone feel I’m putting them down or that I’m “above” cursing or them. And I’m aware that “Fuck yeah” is often all that most people need to hear from me. I keep intending to be succinct but I’m not and cursing wouldn’t help. Unfortunately, if I said “fuck yeah”, I would most likely also try to explain what I meant by that in another dozen paragraphs. Anyway, as I wrote before, the way you use “poo” is so appropriate. The “cursing” is too. I look forward to your blogs and the comments from your blog followers too. Thanks for telling us how you stand up for what you believe in!

  • Avatar Vita says:

    Love this video!

    I like cursing a little, I feel more relaxed this way and helps to express myself or some strong emotion. I try not to curse when I talk to my mother. I don’t like the feeling that I am constrained. But she is a Primary teacher and when she hears a curse she is only about that, doesn’t hear anything else and looks at me like I should be shameful. I am feeling like I am at a lower level, in her eyes if I curse.

  • Avatar Karen says:

    Melody, you crack me, swearing gets to the point..That is why I do it! I enjoy hearing you talk and getting to see a more personal side of you!

  • Avatar andy says:

    Hi , late reply but playing catch up again

    You being you is why I’m here and if people find it offensive then their in the wrong place.
    I’ve been roaming around with my virtual backpack for few years now and came across this place . fuck! This is where I want to be , in my eyes your the best there is and connect so naturally with people .

    X

  • Avatar Lyse Anthony says:

    Hi Melanie,

    I am a French Canadian woman living in the USA. I do not use any cuss words, although I did when I was a rebel teenager to fit in the crowd of friends I had at the time.

    Nowadays, when someone curse in my presence, they often excuse their “French”. Well, we all know it isn’t French, but very few knows that in my country, these words or their translated version are not cuss words at all. Of course we have cuss words but are related to our religion. Those words are considered profanity only when they are used in vain. Do it is fine to say the tarbanacle is where the body of Christ is kept. However, is is not okay to say: “This Christ of Tabarnacle moron cut me of on the highway.” You get the picture and I hope you find this information amusing.

    BTW, I love your videos and I purchased quite a few coaching calls. All is good, cursing or not, the way you explain the law of attraction really does make some freaking sense to this little purring kitten.

    P. S. I like puppies too.

    • Avatar Lyse Anthony says:

      Darn auto correct … meant to write: “So it is fine to say …

    • Hey Lyse,

      I always thought it was funny that we excuse our “French”. Like the French invented cursing (I’m pretty sure the Italians did, lol.) And then we consider French to be the most beautiful language of all. So… are we subconsciously saying that cursing is beautiful? Hehehe.

      Smooshy hugs!

      Melody

      • Avatar Lyse Anthony says:

        Melody, I never had the impression that people were trying to imply that French people cuss but rather that they imply that whatever cuss word that slipped their tongue was actually a French word. This behavior might have taken root when sophisticated people interjected a few French word in their conversations in order to make themselves sound highly educated. If the person they were talking to did not seem to understand, then would apologized saying “Excuse my French”.

  • Avatar H. says:

    I like saying in English “what in the mother of all fucks is…”. Probably not correct English, but everytime I am using the language and expressing some rant-y feelings, it feels great.

  • Avatar H. says:

    Cursing can be either liberating or making you feel low, it depend’s also on the person’s vibration. So with time and some clearing, I currently curse less, but better and have way more fun doing it.

  • I am watching these videos a month or so after you posted this one, but I wanted to add my comment anyway, even if the conversation has moved on. I am amused by your swearing. You remind me a lot of my best friend Jenny in that regard. I don’t generally swear myself unless I am really angry, but it doesn’t bother me when other people sprinkle it into their conversation. I do tend to prefer when people don’t use a swear for every second or third word — that just seems like overkill to me.

    The way I tend to express my Self is in my clothing. I love to wear historical fashions. I have been known to go grocery shopping in medieval clothes, or visit the library in Victorian gowns, or simply do my housework in colonial era clothing. That is my thing.

    Thank you for these videos. They are incredible.

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