I’ve never really shied away from the difficult topics. In fact, I pride myself on answering any question that is asked of me, no matter how skeptical or hairy. I don’t think that one can claim that this Law of Attraction-based mindset works for everything, and then not be willing to address the more painful topics. Today, I delve into just such a subject – the suffering and death of children. A reader asks why a neighbor’s teenager had to die, and why another neighbor’s child is critically ill. How can we be deliberate and powerful creators and still attract such misery? Watch the video below for my answer.
Coaching Call #173 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: How Can She Do The Things She Loves and Earn Money As Well?
This caller is a nurse. She’s very good at it, but it’s not her dream job. The problem is she’s not really sure what it is she wants to do. She loves the Arts and travelling, but can she do this and find a way to earn money at the same time?
Aligning ourselves with what we want when we’re not sure what it is we really what….where do we start? If you’ve been listening to me for a while now, you’ll already know my answer to that one, and this call is a reminder about how to do just that!
This call is for you, if you don’t believe you can combine your passions and earn money at the same time….but you’re ready to find out how.
Awesome Aidan’s Burning Question:
“I love your approach and I feel very comfortable with the LOA and the world view it represents.
However, I have a neighbor whose 14 year old son, last year, walked out in front of a van and died instantly (by accident). I have another neighbor whose 2 year old daughter, after 6 major operations, is close to being offered palliative care. She has cancer. What does the LOA say about such cases? If I speak to my neighbors about their children, and the opportunity will come up, what can the LOA teach me that I may share with them that in some way may help them deal with such incomprehensible loss?
Thanks for any understanding you can give on this difficult and very challenging topic.”
Here’s my answer:
Awesome Aidan, thank you so much for asking this question and allowing me to answer it. This really is a difficult one that a lot of people tend to shy away from because the answer isn’t always easy to hear. It’s not an easy question to answer and it’s also not a fun question to ask or answer, but this is part of our lives.
The first question that I want to answer for you is:
What can you do to make their pain better in some way?
The thing is, in the beginning, nothing. Nothing at all. There is no platitude or explanation that you can offer to somebody who’s just lost their child or who is in utter despair about their child’s illness that will help them to feel better.
I’ve coached several people through this process and I can tell you that in the beginning when you’ve just lost your child, there’s absolutely nothing that anybody can say to make it better. People can make it worse though, by offering platitudes and by “trying” to help a lot of the time. The person who is grieving finds themselves in the trap of trying to cater to all of the people who are trying to make their own grief better. What these people are really doing in that moment is trying to soothe themselves by saying, “If you are grieving, I want help with your grief so that I can feel better by helping you.” If you’re doing that, then you’re not in a position to help. So, if you really want to help, you have to put yourself into a higher vibrational state and see what you’re inspired to do.
The things that you can do in the very beginning are: You can offer to bring food and you can offer to sit with them and just allow them to have their emotions. Don’t try to make them feel better in that state. It isn’t going to work and it’s just going to put more burden on them; it’s just going to be more annoying to them. It can, again, put them into the awkward position of trying to make you feel better which means they are now not dealing with their own grief.
Why does this kind of thing happen?
As time passes the explanations I’m about to give you may or may not be helpful to these people (the grieving parties) but I’m not really talking to them right now, I’m talking to you. So here’s my answer to why these things happen, and this makes us go a little bit further down the rabbit hole. When we are talking about death, we have to talk about the idea that there really is no death. Consciousness never actually goes anywhere; energy never ceases to exist; it simply transforms; it simply transitions. It goes into a different state so when we “die”, we are withdrawing our focus from our physical bodies, but who we really are very much continues on.
I want to make my next point very, very clear because this is such a misconception for a lot of people who study The Law of Attraction and Reality Creation. This young person that died didn’t die because somebody did something wrong, or because they were thinking bad thoughts, or because their parents were thinking bad thoughts; that’s not how that happens. You can’t bad-think yourself to death! Every death only ever happens when it’s the next logical manifestation on somebody’s personal path. That means that this person experienced all they needed and wanted to experience in this physical reality, and they continued their journey, their path, which is much, much greater than one physical life. They continued on that path and they continued to manifest, and those manifestations were better served in the non-physical. They (the “deceased”) didn’t actually go anywhere. The people in the non-physical are all around us and we can connect with them and communicate with them anytime we like, but we have to be in the right vibrational state. That is not grief, that is not despair, and it’s not anger. It’s actually a state of love. This is not something that somebody who has just lost their child is likely to be able to accomplish right now, but down the line they can.
I’ve coached people two months after their child’s death and they were able to get into a state where they received messages from their transitioned children; it doesn’t have to take years. BUT, please do not ask somebody who has just experienced that kind of loss to feel better. A lot of times we are doing that so that we can feel better which is not a fair thing to do. You know, kind of like, “Own your own shit!”
Why do children get sick?
In your question you talked about your neighbour’s two year old daughter who is sick; she has cancer, and she’s going through this experience. This is going to be a very unsatisfying answer, I get that, so I’m going to try and smooth it out as much as I can.
There is value to be had in that kind of experience. That is not the same thing as saying this two year old wants to suffer; clearly this two year old does not want to suffer. They have come in very courageously, very ambitiously, to work through some of our darkest belief systems on this earth and to help us to shift them. Their entire family and everyone who has heard about it who is affected by it, including you (you are affected by it), are part of that shifting. There are still unfortunately, deep dark energies on this earth (not evil, not demons and nothing can encroach upon your reality that you are not a match to). They are there and there’re some really screwy beliefs about suffering that are being mirrored back to us through these wonderful courageous souls. We need to honor them and support them with our energy, not look at them as though they deserve it or that they’ve done something wrong.
The only emotion that I can only ever suggest that you can bring up in these kinds of situations is compassion, and true compassion does not include pity. Pity is a diminishing of that person’s power. Do not diminish the person’s power by saying, “You are somehow in a bad place; something has gone wrong for you.” Compassion is simply an acceptance of the situation. Sending them love and helping in whatever way you’re inspired to will actually be adding to their empowerment.
What does that look like?
That might look like visiting somebody in the hospital and simply making them laugh instead of sitting there and lamenting with them about how crappy their situation is. You would not believe how much of a difference that can make. When you are talking to people who are ill, a lot of the times, they will tell you (not all of them, it depends on where they are on their journey), “OMG thank you for just coming in and treating me like a human being, not like I’m sick, and laughing with me and gossiping with me and talking about something other than my illness so that I can focus on feeling better.” It does bring them a lot of relief.
Here’s the thing though, you can’t really ever judge somebody else’s journey because you can’t really know anybody else’s journey. I can’t tell you precisely why this two year old is going through this or why this 14 year old is going through this; all I can give you are general answers. Those general answers can be highly unsatisfying, depending on where you are in your vibration.
Hopefully this has been of benefit to you and to others who have manifested this video, but if it’s not then just understand that you can disregard this information and continue to search for the information that does help you to feel better. This isn’t going to be the answer for everybody because not everybody is a vibrational match to it and that’s ok.
I hope I’ve answered your question and if you think that this will be beneficial for others, please do share it on social media; I think this is an important message. Let the people who are ready to manifest it, do so.
If you have something to add to this discussion, some experiences of your own, if you’ve gone through this experience and have helpful tips for others, then please do leave a comment below.
Thank you so much for your questions, this has been this week’s Q&A, and I’ll see you next time.