A reader asks if everything actually exists. Is it all an illusion? And if so, what does that say about other people? Should we just disregard them? See the full question and answer below.
Coaching Call #162 is out! The topic for this week’s call is: Can She Have a Thriving Business Without the Burnout?
This caller worked with young adults who’ve left foster care and her joy is helping them to become more empowered and confident. Although she loved her job she suffered burnout, so she gave it up. She now feels ready to have clients again but without the burnout this time.
This is a great call that explains why we create burnout and what we need to do to focus our energy in the right way so that we get what we want much easier.
This call is for you, if you’re working too hard and the path you’re walking on feels so exhausting that you’re ready to give it all up.
Awesome Dudette’s Burning Question:
“I was just listening to Abe a few days ago and something just hit me out of nowhere, Abe said that just because we have memories of an experience that doesn’t actually give us enough evidence to validate its existence. Like for example, just because I remember traveling to Paris, that isn’t enough evidence to prove that I actually went to Paris. It doesn’t make it more valid than for example me thinking I went to London instead. Which is a really great concept because it reminds me that the past doesn’t matter as much as we think. I also appreciate this because it always without fail gives me a boost of self-esteem and confidence every time I remember it.
I just want to ask though, what does actually matter? Not in the sense that “oh nothing actually means anything anymore…” But in the sense of the stuff that we have, and that we call our own, do I need to give them up and believe that they don’t exist every time I leave my Billion dollar home to go to the club? Do I have to forget about my family and about the people whom I love and just write them off as invalid because they’re just memories and the evidence I have doesn’t make them real?
Here’s my response:
This is a fantastic question awesome Dudette, and I’m going to answer it…because you asked, but let me warn you, we are going to go down the rabbit hole today!
Do other people actually exist?
This is a question that a lot of people, as they really get deeper into this work, start to bump up against. Does anything actually exist? When you start to realise that you’re just in this hologram and that everything in your reality is just a reflection of your vibration, it can start to feel a little lonely. It can start to feel like you really are just this person in a room and things are projecting and nothing is actually real. And that is how it kind of is, but… also – it’s not. The universe is full of paradoxes! For example, you can’t get what you want until you don’t need it anymore. That’s one of those wonderful paradoxes, and we are going to talk about a few more here today in this concept.
The way that I like to think about it is: Consider one really large diamond with many, many facets cut into it and this diamond splits off into a bunch of smaller diamonds and each one of those splits off into even smaller diamonds and so on. Eventually you’ll have all these tiny little diamonds with many, many facets – multi-faceted diamonds floating around in your consciousness right here, right now. Now, consider you are ONE of those diamonds. When you match up with another one of those diamonds, you get to see the facet or the facets. You’ll never see all of them, ever, just the ones that you are a vibrational match to. You can never know 100% of somebody’s facets; you can only see the ones that are pointing at you, the ones that you are a match to. You are not even aware of all of your own facets, only the part of you that you are being right now. So, do those other people really exist? Yes, they do, but if you were to merge all of those diamonds all the way up to the level of the big diamond then we are all still a part of that one big whole diamond. This is one of those paradoxes that I was talking about: we’re all the big diamonds but we’re also the little diamonds at the same time.
This is philosophy; this is theory, because you can’t ever experience this while you’re human. You’re not built to. You are built to have a very specific experience, which means you can only hold one perspective at a time, but it’s useful to know that there are many other perspectives of yourself, of other people and of all situations always available for you to either step into or not, for you to either experience or not.
The reason why I’m telling you this is to set up the next bit about memories.
All memories are false
When you focus on a frequency, the first thing that you are going to get is some emotional feedback. An emotion is actually a manifestation. The next stage on a progression manifestation, as the progression gets bigger, are thoughts, memories and ideas. Thoughts are manifestations, memories are manifestations and ideas are manifestations. You cannot have a memory that you are not a vibrational match to. If you are in a miserable mood, you are not going to remember a happy memory. If you’re in a really happy mood, you are not going to remember an unhappy memory. If you are sort of in between, you’ve got to see what memory comes up. We work with this memory manifestation, quite a bit. With my coaching clients, I’ll ask them to focus on a feeling, because it’s hard to focus on a frequency without having some kind of feedback. So I’ll ask them to focus on a feeling for a minute or two and what often happens is that a memory will come up that feels exactly like that emotion, it will give them more information.
When you remember something from when you were 5 years old, do you really think that you remember it exactly as it happened, or do you remember a certain perspective of it? Is that perspective completely whole? Of course not – it never will be! You will have only the memory of the perspective that you were able to hold at the time. For example, if you have a conversation with your parents and they were there in that memory, if you say to them, “Well you said this…” (reiterating what your perspective was at the time) and they say, “No we never said that, this is what happened…” They can give you more information and they can now share their perspective with you, which by the way, you have to be ready to hear (that’s a manifestation as well). What happens then is that you’ll get more information and as your perspective expands you’ll get access to more facets of that experience. Often you will drop the old facet completely and take on a new perspective, now that you’re able to see it through different eyes; something you were not able to do at the time. As you are only ever able to remember the perspective (the facets that you had access to back then), all memories are essentially false to a certain degree. You are never, ever going to get to the complete “truth” of an experience because there really isn’t any truth, there’s only ever whatever facet (perspective), you held at the time.
Does it than really matter if the memory is completely false? You remember going to London, you had a fantastic time, it was great, but it never actually happened and no-one in your reality remembers going there. Or true, you remember going to Paris, you remember it in a way that isn’t holistic but it doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what actually happened. Does that really matter? Well, yes and no – again a paradox. If the memory is a positive one, if it feels good, then you want to leave it alone. It doesn’t matter if it happened or not or whether it’s a real memory or a false memory. If it feels good, it has shown up to match the vibration you are in right now. It’s evidence that you’re on a good path, you’re on a good feeling progression, which is going to grow and eventually manifest into actual physical experiences that involves other people. It (the manifestation) may have nothing to do with London or Paris, but it will feel the same. You are on a positive progression, you are manifesting positively. If a memory comes up that doesn’t feel good, then you want to take a look at it, remembering that there are other perspectives you can adopt and you want to look for those perspectives.
I’ll give you an example: I had a memory that I’d held onto for many years and it wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I cleared this. It was a memory of my grandfather beating me. When my mother came home, I told her about it and her response was, “Well you must have deserved it.” I felt unbelievably betrayed by that and also it just didn’t fit with who my mother is; she’s my best friend; she’s the original Fletcher; she’s amazing and it just didn’t fit. I remember sitting at the kitchen table with her years later, and this came up and I said to her, “Why did you do that?” She looked at me, like I was completely crazy and said, “That’s not what happened! What happened was, I came home and once you told me I went to him and said, if you ever touch my daughter again, you’ll never, ever, see any of your grandchildren ever again!” So, she stood up for me but in my memory it wasn’t like that at all. What I’d actually remembered was my grandfather telling me that my mother would say I’d deserved it and that she wouldn’t believe me anyway. He though by saying this I wouldn’t bother telling her what happened. Of course, I told anyway, but my memory was a match to how powerless and unworthy I felt at that time. When I was able to let that go, I was able to match up with a different memory which came in the form of my mother giving me a new perspective. I still don’t remember it positively; In fact, I kind of don’t remember it at all now, because I was quite young (and because I shifted it). I didn’t create a positive memory but I do know that the old memory was false and it wasn’t serving me. Now, the whole thing could be a figment of my imagination, but that doesn’t really matter; what does matter is how it feels.
What your physical reality really means
Do you have to disregard all the people that you love? Of course not! They are in your reality for a reason because they are a match to who you are. If there’s something in your reality that you don’t like, you can shift it. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to let people go; you can shift into a new vibration and get a new facet of them.
Does it mean that you have to walk around and say that a particular building doesn’t actually exist and that you should be able to put your hand through it? If you want to practice that, that’s wonderful and it is totally possible, but if you don’t want to do that because it’s not your greatest joy or your greatest excitement, don’t worry about it.
You have manifested yourself into a physical reality for a reason. You are not here to disregard this physical reality or to transcend it somehow. You are here to be physical and have a physical experience and it makes it a lot easier to do that if you consider that things are real. Of course, knowing the philosophy or the theory that we often don’t experience physically, (although sometimes we do), that things aren’t real, will help us to not take things too seriously. It helps us by not getting too locked into situations and saying this is how it is. That is only one aspect of “how it is,” and if you don’t like how it is you can certainly shift to see a different aspect of it.
I hope this has explained and answered your question! This is quite a deep and advanced topic, so if this video didn’t speak to you, don’t worry; I’ll be doing a lot more of the lighter stuff as well. If you want to go deeper down the rabbit hole, then hopefully this answered a bunch of your questions.
That was my A to your Q. If you like this content please consider sharing it with somebody who would find it valuable as well. And if you’d like to join the discussion, please do so, by leaving a comment below.
Huge happy shiny puppy hugs to all of you, and see you next time.