Coaching Call #160 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: She Has A Big Desire But Doesn’t Think She’s Good Enough To Achieve It.
This caller has big, BIG desires. She wants to play her part in bringing peace to the world. Her dream is to empower women who’ve been sold into human trafficking, but, she doesn’t always feel she’s good enough to help empower women with this experience. What if she’s not on her true path and what if she’s not good enough to help them?
This is a great call that allows me to demonstrate that we should dream big and to show how feelings of unworthiness can affect both our professional and personal life.
This call is for you if feelings of unworthiness are stopping you from going after your biggest desire.
Awesome Dude’s Burning Question:
“I love my family but I don’t like the energy of my family. I find myself very, very different from them. I don’t want to be surrounded by negativity and yet I cannot NOT be there for my family. Ok, I know it is my hologram thus my own energy creating it; if I have to face such negativity that means there is some hidden negativity inside me which is creating it. I need to attract/create their positive version, i.e. I should not be focusing on negative ‘them’. Phew! Melody, Easier said than done.
Focusing on their positive version requires EFFORT. But there should be no effort. Moreover, I find my energy much, much better when I am away from my family. My financial situation doesn’t allow me to live independently of my family and as I mentioned earlier, I can’t not care for my family.
Why should I have to deal with something that I don’t want? Why should something be forced upon me? This makes me feel powerless. Why can’t I simply have what I want?”
Here’s my response:
Well, awesome Dude, you actually already hinted at the answer in your question: This is making you feel powerless. That’s a vibration that you want to deal with sooner rather than later. So, this coming up early in life, that’s actually a really good thing.
The reason that your family is acting the way that they are, isn’t because you’re not focusing on them positively enough; it’s because they’re holding on to an even stronger version of this powerlessness. They feel powerless, too, and a much larger degree of it than you. It feels like they want to pull you down into that powerless pit, while you are trying to do all you can to scramble out into empowerment. This is actually what you are here to do in this moment of your life. This is what you are wanting to face in this moment of your life so that you can continue to go down the path that you really want to go down.
You want to clear this powerlessness and although I can tell you to focus positively on your family, and that will certainly start to raise your vibration a little bit, that’s not going to help you right now. That’s only going to sound really empty to you. What you want to do is to get really mad at your family; you want to let that anger come out. Not at them though, you don’t want to vomit your anger all over them; that’s not constructive. Basically, what’s coming up to be released here is the powerlessness itself, the belief that you think you don’t get to have what you want. That’s a powerless belief and it is just a belief. Thinking that things can be forced upon you, that’s a powerless belief, but it is just a belief.
These are the beliefs that you want to let go of. The easiest way that you’re going to do this, and I feel very strongly that this is going to work beautifully for you, is if you just allow yourself to let this anger come up and flow out. Again, don’t vomit it all over your family, go and do this by yourself; then you’re going to move through this.
Here’s what I recommend
If you have a place to go where you can be private, be completely alone and feels really safe (you might have to go out into the woods, or a walk in the mountains, or do this when you’re home alone), pretend your family are there and say everything that you’ve ever wanted to say to them. Say it to the Universe, to God, whoever you want to, but do not get angry with yourself. Push that anger out, let it all out; cry it out, scream it out, run it out, punch it out (punch a couch cushion so that it doesn’t hurt you or the thing you’re punching), but let it out. Let it out constructively.
This is going to help you because thinking pretty, pretty thoughts at this stage where you are at, when the powerlessness is coming up, will not feel any better. It’s just going to feel really empty. When you’re away from them, you’re not going to feel that pull of theirs as strongly. It’s going to be like a little vacation that you can use to raise your vibration. You can use that time to completely ignore the situation if you can, and then just go and have a good time. It will benefit you greatly, but you can’t ignore this (note: you can ignore it temporarily and deliberately in order to feel better, but you cannot ignore the situation full stop). You can’t make it go away by saying “No, no, no, I’m just going to think happy, happy thoughts.” That’s one of those huge misconceptions about how to do this law of attraction work; that we can just think happy, happy thoughts. If we could just think happy thoughts, we would! There are a lot of people in the world, in fact, most people in this world who are not in a place where they can function like that. I promise you, even at this stage of the game where I’m at, if I have some resistance coming up, just thinking happy, happy thoughts doesn’t always work either. So, if it doesn’t work, then go the other way; you’ve got to dive into it, you’ve got to let those emotions come up – you’ve got to deal with them! You’ve got to let whatever emotion that comes up, happen. If it’s pulling you into anger, and it will, because anger is what takes you out of powerlessness, then go with the anger. Just be really, really angry, but again, do it constructively.
Do check out the video on having a constructive anger release and the blog; I’ve written a lot of blog posts on anger and how to constructively let go of anger, so that you’ll have a successful anger release. You will feel better, and I promise you this, it will happen fast. If you’ve had a proper anger release, where you feel exhausted but no longer angry at the end (this can take a while; I’ve seen people have an anger release for 3 hours, or sometimes it only takes a few minutes), but if it’s pent up anger it can take longer – you will feel better. You might feel tired, you might feel exhausted, but you will feel better and you won’t be angry anymore.
Watch what your family does
They will change, they might not completely change, but you will see a change or you will see a difference in how their behavior affects you. You won’t be as bothered by them and their pull will diminish. Every time another wave of anger comes up, let it out, alone and constructively, but let it out. You will notice that their pull over you will change.
I have done this with several family members of mine that used to drive me absolutely crazy. They also brought up a lot of powerlessness within me and I continued to work on issue after issue, letting the emotions come up. Now I get a completely different version of them. I no longer need to get a different version of them because they can no longer bother me, and because they no longer can, I get a completely different version of them that is much more positive than it ever used to be.
I know that you can do this, so go and get your anger on! It will help you.
That was my A to your Q. If you like this content please consider sharing it with somebody who would find it valuable as well. And if you’ve had any kind of issues with your family that have made you feel powerless, join the discussion by leaving a comment below.
Huge happy shiny puppy hugs to all of you, and see you next time.