Coaching Call #133 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: This Mother of Two Wants an Amicable Divorce.
This client wants to divorce her husband but he is in total denial that the marriage is over. She’s ready to leave but she can’t make that final move, mainly because her biggest fear is that her children will turn against her if she does. She’s ready to move on but these obstacles are standing in her way.
Why is she coming up against so many obstacles to getting a divorce? Listen in as we work through the limiting beliefs that stop us from honoring who we really are.
If you are struggling with ending a relationship, either because you think it’s wrong, or are afraid of hurting someone or yourself, this call is for you.
At the end of every year, I perform a little ritual, where I review the year that has just passed, and prepare the energy for the year to come. While I don’t generally set traditional goals, such as “lose 10 pounds” or “stop smoking”, in other words, I don’t set ACTION goals, I take stock of where my energy was a year ago, where it is now, and in what direction I want to point it going forward. This is not a chore (if it feels like that, you’re doing it wrong). In fact, the process is actually super fun and leaves me pumped up and full of enthusiasm for the year to come. But it’s also challenging. As you’ll see, this process requires honesty, which can sometimes show us surprising and somewhat uncomfortable things.
I broke down the whole technique in my end of 2012 post, so if you’re not sure how to do this process, you can find it fully explained there. I gave you a big old glimpse into my own goals in the end of 2013 post. Now, it’s time to review 2014 and rev up for 2015, which will, once again, be the BEST FREAKING YEAR EVER! Naturally.
Are you ready? Well then hang on to your socks, because they may get blown off.
I have a confession to make
I’ve decided that I have to come up with a new measurement of time. Because 2014 wasn’t just one year; it was more like ten. So much has happened, not just physically, but energetically, I’m not even close to the same person I was twelve months ago. But as I sat down to write this post a week ago, I found myself feeling rather blah about it. I went through my past blog posts and began to recount all the stuff that had happened, logistically speaking. There was the book contract, the LIVE! event in NYC, and so forth. And all of that was awesome, of course. But as I sat there looking at the post I’d written, a post that dealt only with these “accomplishments” and milestones, I felt dissatisfied. Something was missing. Somehow, this list, no matter how amazing, just didn’t seem to come close to representing what had actually happened.
So, I sat with it for a bit, felt the feeling of dissatisfaction, and had myself an epiphany. I had to admit something to myself, something I’m now going to admit to you. And it’s not entirely comfortable to do so (which is good, as you’ll see in a minute.) I’ve gotten a bit lazy. I know, I know, that sounds ludicrous coming from a person who is generally moving at light speed. Those who are close to me will have the urge to slap me right now and tell me that no, I have not gotten lazy, in fact, I need to slow the f%&k down. I’m not talking about action. I’m talking about authenticity. I’ve kept this blog at pretty much the same energetic level for the last few months. While I’ve been leaping forward like a kangaroo on steroids, I haven’t really been reflecting that here. I’ve been holding back. And I’d like to apologize for that, both to you and to myself. Because holding back is safe. Holding back is comfortable. But, holding back is also freaking boring. And that’s what felt off about the blog post I wrote a week ago and which I couldn’t upload. It was boring. It read like a resume of the last year. And that’s just not good enough.
My blog posts should scare me a little bit. They should reflect where I am RIGHT NOW, at least to some degree. That’s what keeps me passionate and excited. That’s what makes me churn out 3000 word blog posts in the time it takes most writers to pick a topic. That’s what keeps things at the awesome level. This isn’t a place to feel comfortable. It’s a place to face your crap, to leap forward, to have epiphanies and to get a hit of energy that you might not otherwise allow. And in order to fulfill that intention for you, I have to be a little bit braver in my writing that I have been. I have to be more authentic.
Why I got lazy
But why did I slip into my comfort zone? How could I let this happen? Well, some of it had to do with the fact that I took on a little too much. I’ve always been a workaholic, and while I’ve cleared A LOT of that, a bit of that remaining energy manifested and slapped me in the face. I got a bit overwhelmed (I wrote a book in a month, while scheduling my first live event and also coaching full time. Something had to give…). But I held back, in large part, due to the fact that I was trying to cater to too large a crowd. I didn’t want to alienate new readers – those who were just beginning to get interested in this subject matter. I didn’t want to confuse them. And so, I kept explaining things on the same level, even apologizing for and putting a disclaimer at the top of any blog post that ventured a little further down the rabbit whole. Good gawd.
Of course, my emotional feedback system let me know that it was time to level up, and now that I’ve realized what I’ve been doing, things will change. I have nearly 500 “basic level” blog posts that people can read in the archives. And of course, those who are drawn to this blog, come here for a reason. And it certainly isn’t to see me do the same old song and dance. So yeah, things are about to get a bit weirder, a bit more “woo-woo”. The explanations will still be broken down technically. There will still be poop jokes. But I’m about to bring you to where I am, not to where I’ve been. For most of you, this will be a leap. In fact, I really hope it is. But isn’t that what you come here for?
So, with that in mind, I’m sitting here today, on the first day of this fabulous, squeaky clean year, rewriting this blog post into something much more reflective of my NOW energy. I’m going to review my last year and give you glimpses of the intentions I’ve set for the next 12 months (or 10 vibrational years…); and I’m going to do it at a level that scares me just a little bit. You’re welcome.
What changed since last year
If you go back and look at my 2014 goals, you may notice that a few things have changed. That’s totally normal and to be expected. As we line up our energy with what we want, it’s important to remember that the specifics of any goal are merely a representation of that frequency, and won’t necessarily come about exactly as expected. The trick is to remain flexible and focus on the feeling of what we want, and not get married to the thing.
But even though not everything turned out exactly as I predicted detail-wise, by all accounts, 2014 has been an epic year. EPIC, I tell you.
First, let’s look at what changed:
I didn’t move to Ibiza. Yep, I announced last year that I had visited the beautiful Spanish island of Ibiza, and had fallen in love with it. I had the strong feeling that I would move there. Well, that never happened. It turns out, it was never about moving there, but about giving me, for the first time in my life, the feeling of being at home somewhere. This was huge for me. I grew up on two continents, and up until moving into my current apartment, I’ve never lived in any one location for more than 2 years (I’ve been in my current apartment for 6 years). I’ve never really felt like I belonged anywhere, not to any country, or city or nationality or any community. And I’ve gotten to the point where I’m totally ok with that, which is why this new feeling was able to come in. I associated it with the location I was in at the time – Ibiza, but as I sat with it more, it became more and more apparent that the place had little to do with it (well, duh.) I had simply attained this feeling, this frequency.
So, while I still totally dig the island and have visited several times since, we’re just friends now. I’ve realized that my community is wherever I am, and I’m actively working on building that energy up. The latest “hit” I’ve gotten is the rather surprising (for me) urge to move back to the US. I’m not really ready to give away a lot of details yet, as it’s all still very fluid (ideas pop in, feel good and then change), but that’s where I’m at generally. At some point, I’ll just get the hit to move some place, as which point I’ll announce my plans. You’ll know when I know, basically.
I’ll continue to travel and will actually be increasing my globetrotting in the next coming years, although right now I can only see ahead for about six months.
I didn’t get all skinny and shit. I also announced that I’d had a major insight into the whole weight thingy. Well, I did. In fact, I’ve had several more shifts since then. It’s the gift that truly keeps on giving and I can honestly say, I’m ok with that. I’ve never felt as good about myself as I do right now. I know this will come as a disappointment to some of you – after all, if I can’t lose the weight, how can you, right? Well, it doesn’t work that way. My weight doesn’t represent the same thing as anyone else’s and neither does yours. My latest insight showed me that I use my weight as an energy buffer; it helps me to stabilize when I’m running tremendous amounts of energy through my body. So, I started to do more grounding and stabilizing work, which brought even more insights into what the physical body actually is and how it truly works. If having a few extra curves helps me have these kinds of epiphanies, I’m totally down with that. I’ve also realized that this manifestation is leading me towards a much, MUCH bigger insight – one that’s about how to manifest ANYTHING, and most likely instantly (this is very new and I don’t fully understand it yet, but I know that’s what it’s about NOW). Seen from this perspective, my weight is actually a positive manifestation. Two of my life themes are to understand the physical body fully, as well as the power we have when we’re fully human, and my weight is helping me to do that in a way that no other manifestation could even come close to.
The website redesign is STILL underway. This is totally my fault and I’d like to publicly thank my awesome designer Mike for being so understanding and patient. So much has changed in the last year which will be reflected in the new site. On the advice of my publisher, we’re actually doing a complete and total rebranding (yep, I’m a brand now…), as well as a total reorganization of all the content (so you can finally find shit around here!). Luckily, I attracted an awesome new content manager, Lorraine (whom I will introduce you to next year!), who has been hard at work getting everything ready for the new site launch.
2014 Milestones of Awesomeness
Of course, this year was also filled with some of the biggest highlights of my entire life (so far…)!
Da book deal! As I outlined in this post, I was signed by Hay House this year and my book will be published in 2015. Now, while this was and is super exciting, it kind of threw a wrench in the works, scheduling wise, which I didn’t realize until I was totally overwhelmed. I already had so much planned for the year and writing a whole book is no small thing. In short, I’ve never written a book before and my idea that it would be like writing a series of blog posts was totally mistaken. It’s more like having a freaking baby with labor pains and all. I ended up writing the whole thing in a month, while coaching full time, a process and speed that pretty much kicked my ass. Writing this book has changed me. It was an energy shifting process for me, something I naively didn’t expect. But honestly guys, I thought it would be good, but it’s so much better than anything I could’ve dreamed.
Because of the overwhelm, I finally had one of the biggest breakthroughs (and subsequent purges) of my life. As I lay in a London hotel room, too sick to do anything but crawl to the bathroom, call room service for tea (I know, poor me!) and remembering why the hell I never watch TV (OMG, it’s gotten worse!), I finally realized why I’m always so freaking busy. I created that busy-ness, I created the shortage of time, I was totally unrealistic about timelines, and wasn’t comfortable unless my plate was full. And then *poof*, just like that, it all vanished. I realized that I wasn’t done with the book. I wanted to take one more pass at it, but in a relaxed state, instead of the hurried schedule I’d been keeping. So, I did something that just a few days earlier seemed totally unacceptable to me: Imoved the publication date. The new tentative publication date is now the end of July 2015, which will be perfect.
I also stopped feeling guilty about holding other people up (the guilt was much less than it had ever been, but it was still there). My trust level in perfect timing is now stronger than ever. And wow, is that freeing. As a result of this release, time has expanded for me. It has slowed down. I’m no longer rushed. I’m playing with this and will report what I discover (but the guest post from two weeks ago could not have come at a better time. Ha.)
Our LIVE event in NYC! OMG people, this was so freaking awesome!!! I once again want to thank everyone who came and everyone who was there in spirit. If you need a recap, you can read about it here. Planning and executing my first live event while writing my first book and coaching full time was nothing short of insane (although I did not realize this at the time…). But, with the help of my awesome team, we managed to pull it off. And all I can say is, I am doing more live events in the future. I struggle to find the words to describe how much I loved standing on that stage, streaming energy for a room full of Happy Shiny Puppies. That is so happening again. And again. And again. And yes, we taped it, and yes we’ll make that recording available early this year (I just need to review 6 hours of edited footage).
I’ve also been able to talk to many of my clients who were there since the event. Many of them had huge breakthroughs just by being exposed to that energy (like, quantum leaps!), something I hadn’t fully anticipated (not to that scale…) and which is making me even more excited about the possibilities of what we can accomplish when we get in the same room together. So yeah, we are doing that shit again.
Connecting with Nature. One of my main, overarching goals for 2014 was to foster a deeper connection with nature. Well, that totally happened. I started the year off by gaining interesting insights from the mountains in Peru (yep, they talk, and they actually have a lot of wisdom to offer and yes, I know I didn’t write about that which is totally my bad, and that will change), then learned animal communication from some very wise cats and dogs on Ibiza (and a couple of not so wise dogs), talked to a fruit tree and gave a little coaching to a rescued horse. You can read about my Dr. Doolittle adventures in this post.
I’m actually heading to the mountains of Peru again in just a few days, to spend three more weeks working with a shaman and the plant teachers Ayahuasca and San Pedro, as well as the land itself. Only this time, I’m doing things a little differently. I’m going to take my video camera and will be interviewing my shaman, Javier, about his work, which I will then share with all of you. I also plan on sharing my plant medicine experiences with you, to whatever degree I can (understand that not everything that is experienced can be translated verbally, not at the level at which I’m working; but I’ll do my best…). For those of you who want to go WAY down the rabbit hole with me, you definitely have something to look forward to.
While I’m away, my coaching practice will be shut down. January is just for me and during this time, I go completely off the grid. This is my time to do deep inner work. I did the same last year and it was a phenomenal way to start the year. But again, instead of keeping it all to myself, this time I’m going to be sharing my cookies. Because doing so not only benefits you, but me as well (it’s always a win-win).
Other Highlights. Along with the really huge milestones, 2014 was also packed with smaller, but no less awesome highlights. For example, I promoted my sister and Kickass Assistant Tina McDonald to Deliberate Receiving’s Business Manager. She was able to join me in NYC for the live event (which she managed beautifully), and I was able to provide her with her very first experience flying First Class (which was highlight for her and me). We finally attracted an awesome artist who redesigned the Bullshit fairy, who will be featured much more prominently in 2015. I had a personal shopping and styling session in London, which turns out isn’t just for rich people and is much more affordable than people think. My entire wardrobe and look were overhauled and I’m now ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille! I also had a celebrity grade photo shoot, along with professional make up and styling, which is an experience that I think everyone should have at least once. Seriously, they will make you look so freaking good. Here’s a little proof (the dress is from the shopping trip with the stylist, and it’s also what I wore on stage in NYC). Oh, the magic of makeup and lighting and posing and filters, amiright?
Deeper down the Rabbit Hole in 2015
I spent the days just before Christmas on the beautiful but f&%#king cold islands of Orkney, Scotland (two words: HORIZONTAL HAIL). I and two of my friends were “called” there (our intuition told us to go, and even though we didn’t know why, we hopped on a plane and showed up because that’s how we roll). We spent the winter solstice there and worked with some of the most ancient stone circles known to man (they predate Stonehenge.) I knew that something really big was going to happen, but I had no idea what. It turns out, I was given an introductory course in stone circle technology by the stones themselves, and the insights have been flowing in ever since. I can’t wait to write these up in a blog post (I will tell you what I’ve discovered so far, even though I still have MUCH to learn), but will not do so until I’m back in February. I want to be present for the conversations that will inevitably ensue.
As always, I took my annual pilgrimage to the spa, as I do every year for Christmas and New. This is my time to be pampered and primped and buffed and polished until I look much closer to the picture above than I normally do. Basically, I eat and sleep and relax until I’m just a smooshy blob of happy. I call this my “MeMeMeMeMe” time. Everyone should have some of that (not MY “MeMeMeMeMe” time, of course. Get your own). Along with the pampering and eating, I also always receive tons of insights and release a lot of crap. One of those insights is responsible for my leveling up, starting with this post. That’s reason enough to get your ass to the spa immediately, don’t you think?
More public speaking in 2015
After the awesome event in NYC, I’ve set the intention to do more public speaking, and some of that has already begun to manifest. I’ve been booked in to speak at Hay House’s Ignite event in London in March, as well as the Mind Body Spirit Conference in May (also in London). I’ll also be participating in Hay House’s 2015 World Summit in May (this is online). Details will be posted ASAP.
Of course, it won’t end there. Although I don’t have any further concrete plans right now, I’m certain more opportunities will find me in perfect timing. And I can’t wait! Bring it on Universe!
The Deliberate Receiving Course
And last, the online course I announced earlier this year will come to fruition in 2015. My waiting list for 1 on 1 coaching has reached ridiculous proportions, and it’s time to scale the business so I can help a lot more people. The answer is an online course, based on the upcoming book. The idea is to offer those who have read the book and would like to take it further a way to do that, with instruction, group coaching and an online community of like-minded peers. I don’t have an exact date for this launch yet, as it’s another huge project and I want to make sure I enjoy every moment of its creation without getting overwhelmed. But details will be posted ASAP (I’ll probably be able to communicate the dates around March).
Many of you have also asked if I’ll ever do any coach or facilitator training, and that is an idea I’ve been playing with. While that will have to wait until the online course is fully live and functional (it’s more of a long term plan), I do love the idea of having an army of Happy Shiny Puppy Coaches to help meet the demand of those who really want some personal help. Stay tuned and watch this space.
Honestly, at this point, I’m not really setting any personal goals, per se. I’m focusing more on feeling really good and just trusting what unfolds. I’m following my intuition wherever it takes me, no longer needing to control any part of how I get to where I want to go. It’s an awesome feeling.
On a grander scale, I’m focusing on world peace (yes, seriously, and I’ve actually been getting more and more glimpsed of just how that could come about), on equality for all, on tolerance, on love. I see the world purging all its darkness and ugliness out, like a big Earth-Detox, with more and more people shifting towards compassion, understanding and light. I see more and more people understanding that we are all one, that animals and nature are not disposable resources for us to use and abuse, that fellow human beings are never worth less, expendable or to be feared. I see so much evidence of the shift that is taking place; a shift towards full empowerment; a shift towards Who We Really Are. Yes, 2014 was epic. But 2015 is going to kick 2014’s ass. Mark my words, puppies.
Why not do your own year-end review and start setting up the awesome energy for next year now? Why not challenge yourself to reach that next level of authenticity? And, if you’re so inclined (especially if it scares you a little), why not share some of that review here in the comments?
The time for playing small, for keeping it safe, for staying in our comfort zone even for a minute, is over. It’s time to play a much, much bigger game. And if I can do it, so can you. Remember, we’re all in this together.
And on that note, I wish you all such a freaking Happy New Year!
With all my love and light and smooshy happy shiny puppy hugs,