Coaching Call #121 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Calming a Busy Negative Mind So You Can Hear Your Intuition.
This client has several different issues that she wants help with, from finances to children and everything in between! She knows that her intuition will guide her to resolutions in all these areas, but her mind is so busy, she can’t hear it!
What can you do when your mind seems to just insist on thinking negative thoughts? Listen in as I lead this client through the process of stopping the negative momentum of her mind, tuning into her higher self, and learning to trust her intuition.
If you have trouble hearing your inner voice, your higher self, your intuition (whatever name you want to give it), so you can finally live the awesome life you want, this is your call.
Awesome Rheanna’s Burning Question: “Is really ANYTHING possible with the LOA? Even REALLY big things like eye color change, changing your skin color, longer hair, changing the appearance of your um, unmentionables, losing weight, etc.? I’m new to this and I’ve been told the LOA can work for absolutely anything, but I’m having trouble believing you can change your physical reality and “manifest” things like a new car, money, becoming an Oscar winning actress or changing your appearance just by changing your attitude. Sorry if I sound rude, I just really want to be educated!”
Dear Awesome Rheanna,
You don’t sound rude at all. A lot of people wonder this when they first hear about the Law of Attraction. And they should! After all, if someone came up to you and told you they had some magic beans to sell you, you’d probably be skeptical, too.
The main problem here is that there’s so much misinformation about the Law of Attraction. You can find tons of books and blogs that tell you that you can have anything you want, which is true, but then they don’t qualify that statement. Or, even worse, they tell you to think positively, and then when your life doesn’t come together magically, they make it sound like you just didn’t focus positively enough, as if your life is punishing you for your bad, bad thoughts. There’s a lot more to it than just thinking positively (although that’s always a good start).
There’s a huge difference between the theory of LOA and the practice of it. What does that mean? Well, while everything is possible, not everything is probable for you. In order to fully understand this, we’ll have to delve into your past. No, not your childhood; I’m talking about the time before you were even born.
Your starting point
You see, you came here with some intentions, to start the game at a specific spot and go from there. You choose the vibrational environment (the beliefs) that you want to start off with, which determines where you’re born, who your parents are, and what cultural beliefs you take on. One skin color will give you a different experience over another, just as a specific gender, sexual orientation, height, weight and even hair and eye color will.
Being born into a poor family will offer up a different set of experiences than being born into a rich family. Being born black in the South of the U.S. will offer up a different set of experiences than being white in Europe, or black in Africa, or Indian in Canada, or Japanese in Brazil. Being born blind will set up a different set of options than being born with perfect eyesight. Every detail of your life has been perfectly orchestrated to support your life theme, which YOU (the big, non-physical YOU) chose.
Keep in mind that this intention, this vibrational setup was merely the starting point. Your life was not completely planned out. You are not locked into a destiny. It really is just that – a starting point. Without this starting point, you wouldn’t be able to play the game. Your reality would just be nothingness. Without some kind of anchor, you wouldn’t know what to create.
Have you ever had someone ask you where you want to go to dinner, and replied “I don’t care”, only to have them make a suggestion that then didn’t sound good to you? If you truly didn’t care, you wouldn’t have said no to any suggestion. The truth is, it’s not that you didn’t care; it’s that you didn’t know what you wanted to eat. It’s only through the suggestion from someone else that you figured out something you didn’t want, which brought you closer to figuring out what you did want. Without that first suggestion, you’d have a very hard time choosing a restaurant. Now imagine that you’re vising a foreign country where you’ve never been, and you know nothing about the food, much less the local eateries. How hard would it be to choose a restaurant, then?
But, what if someone handed you a bunch of menus? Would you have an easier time choosing? Of course you would. You’d have something to focus on, something to react to, and something to have an opinion about. You might choose from among what’s on offer, or you might see a menu for Chinese food and realize that what really sounds good right now is Thai food. Seeing a menu of something you didn’t want helped you to figure out what you wanted instead.
Our starting point is like those menus – something to focus on that you can react to, have an opinion about and use to figure out what it is that you really want.
Your life theme
This starting point can also be described as your “life theme”. If you were born into poverty, one of your themes might be to explore abundance. By getting to know one side of the abundance issue (the lack of it) and then moving into the other side (the presence of abundance) you can experience the abundance theme fully and completely.
Notice that I didn’t say that “poverty” was your life theme. Life themes are never about the absence or presence of something. They are about the whole topic, and in order to experience any topic fully, one must live both sides of the equation, sometimes even going back and forth. People who are exploring a body theme (connection to the body, confidence in the body, etc.) might gain and lose weight several times throughout their life time as they work through the limiting beliefs they picked up as part of their starting point.
Now, again, I want to make it absolutely clear that your life theme doesn’t lock you into any kind of plan. And it certainly doesn’t lock you into suffering. But it does, by necessity, limit your options at bit, at least early on in life. You have the ability, through your choices, to move as far away from that starting point as you like, but you must do so incrementally.
Let me give you an example: Let’s say that you are born with some beliefs of unworthiness, and wanted to explore those specifically through the physical body. This manifests as a tendency to gain weight, and you spend your childhood as a fat kid, which, along with totally sucking eggs (let’s just be honest), is the perfect experience to illustrate those beliefs. You spend a good portion of your life exploring worthiness issues, every nook and cranny of them. Of course, the speed with which you do that is entirely up to you, as is whether or not you’re suffering.
Now, let’s say that you learn to do some inner work, learn Deliberate Receiving (just, you know, for example), and start to release your resistance around worthiness. You’re still exploring worthiness, but you move out of the resistant stage and into an allowing stage. Instead of fighting the idea of worthiness, you embrace it, and begin to experience the other side of the coin. Instead of feeling unworthy, you begin to feel worthy. And everything in your reality, including your physical body, begins to mirror that back to you. Your exploration of the theme then continues as you go deeper and deeper into worthiness (the positive side of it).
As you move from unworthiness to worthiness, you are still experiencing the entire journey, you’re just not fighting it anymore (which is what resistance is). You’re not suffering anymore. But you do not give up the theme, unless and until you’re “done” with it. It is possible to have more than one life theme, and it is possible to switch life themes during one lifetime, but it’s never because you’re sick of it. It’s always because you’ve completely explored it and have had all the fun you can with it.
What’s possible vs. what’s probable
Ok, so you have your life theme. How does that affect what you’re able to manifest? Well, it limits, to a degree, what you’ll have access to. But, the good news is that you’ll never be hampered by this limitation. You see, your life, from the very moment you’re born, causes you to want stuff. You see something you don’t want and you want something instead. Whatever it is you’re inspired to want can absolutely manifest. The stuff you can’t manifest in this lifetime will never even show up on your radar – you won’t even have a thought about it.
You do, however, have to remember that when we’re talking about manifesting what you want, we’re referring to what you truly want, not what you think you want. So, if you want to feel abundant, you may think that manifesting a car will get you that, but if you were to focus on the car, you’d actually be trying to manifest the HOW – what you think will bring you what you really want, which is abundance. It’s not that you CAN’T manifest a car, it’s that you don’t necessarily truly want to, even though you think you do.
This is the part that usually confuses people. They say, “Um, no. You said I can have anything I want. I want to date Brad Pitt. Where the hell is he?!” But here’s the thing: It’s not that it’s not possible that you’ll meet Mr. Pitt, it’s just that it might not be probable. Anything you can think of is possible. Yes, anything. But not everything is probable – meaning likely to manifest as a match to your vibration.
Think of it this way: You say you want to date Brad Pitt. But, you don’t really know anything about Brad Pitt, except for what you’ve read in magazines and seen on TV. You don’t actually know what the experience of dating Brad Pitt would be like. You want a certain experience, and you’ve determined, without any real means of doing so, that dating hunky, old Brad will give you that experience. If you become a match to the experience you want, you will get it. This may involve Brad (if dating him will actually be everything you want it to be), or it may not.
When you continue to insist that no, you want to date Brad Pitt, it’s a bit like a child who’s asked his mom for chocolate candies pointing to a box labeled “Brussel Sprouts” at the grocery store and insisting that is what he wants. His mom tries to explain to him that Brussel Sprouts do not taste like chocolate and that they would be better off going to the candy isle, but the boy, absolutely determined to get what he thinks he wants instead of what he actually wants, throws himself on the floor and throws a tantrum. If the mom then gives in and buys him the Brussel Sprouts, he will, of course, complain about how this is NOT what he wanted.
We are so determined that we know what we want; we’re often like that little boy, insisting that we want the Brussel Sprouts (or the lottery win, or Brad Pitt, or to be taller/shorter/whatever), while the Universe is trying to gently let us know that no, that’s not what we really want and we’d be better off opening ourselves up to more options. If you’ve asked for chocolate, and Brad Pitt does not taste like chocolate (I like to imagine that he does), he cannot manifest.
Changing the big stuff
The really big stuff in your life, the stuff that bothers you the most, things like money, weight, skin color, or the appearance of your naughty bits, will always be a part of your life theme and as such, you may not WANT to change it. Let’s take something like skin color, something that most people will not believe can really be changed. If you want to have lighter skin, ask yourself why. The theme of your life will probably not be to “surpass” being black (a wish that comes from judging darker skin color to be somehow “worse” than having lighter skin), for example, but to explore being black from every angle. You may know what it’s like to feel black and powerless, but do you know what it’s like to feel black and powerful? Do you know what it’s like to feel black and equal, unoppressed, proud of it or completely secure? If you are short, you may know what it’s like to feel short and dismissed, or ignored. But do you know what it’s like to feel short and centered, fully in your power and commanding the attention of a whole room easily?
You see, the experience of being fully in your power will be quite different when you channel that empowerment through the experience of being black, or a woman, or short, or tall, or poor, or rich. And if a circumstance in your life needs to change in order to better reflect that empowerment, including the circumstance that originally reflected that life theme to you, it will. But if not, or if the circumstance is still helpful in exploring that theme, it will stick around. What will change is how you feel about it.
This can make it sound like what I’m saying is that LOA simply teaches you to be happy with your circumstances. But that wouldn’t be true. It goes much, much further than that. You see, when someone asks you to just be happy with your circumstances, they are asking you to give up on what you want. So what, if you’re poor? Just be happy anyway. But working with LOA is NEVER about giving up on what you truly want. In fact, it’s about receiving what you want, no matter what it is (as long it’s what you truly want). But, in order to get that, you have to be willing to give up on what you think you want. In other words, you don’t have to give up on the chocolate and just be happy to be in the store. You can have the chocolate, but you’ll have to be willing to stop throwing a tantrum about the Brussel Sprouts.
And, let me just remind you of a little LOA 101: you do not feel bad because of your height or weight or skin color or financial status. You feel bad because you’ve decided that there’s something wrong with you, and you’re just using your hatred of these circumstances to justify that feeling. When you feel better, your circumstances will change in order to reflect that feeling back to you, if they need to.
So, can you become an Oscar Winning actress? Yes. Will you? That depends on if this is something that really excites you, if it matches what you really want, AND of course, on whether or not you become a match to that. Can you change your skin color? Again, yes, if this is what you truly want (it generally isn’t. It’s usually what people want in order to get what they really want), and you become a match to that. Remember Michael Jackson? He changed his skin color. It did not give him what he wanted. There are also a lot of lottery winners out there who only got what they thought they wanted. And not everyone who dates a celebrity is blissfully happy.
Remember, if you really want a circumstance to change, you’ve probably only explored one side of that theme so far. Isn’t it time to begin exploring the other side? Can you even imagine what that would look like? Have you ever even tried?
Want to go way deeper down the rabbit hole? Consider joining us in NYC this November! Click here for more info.