Coaching Call #105 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Divorcing an Abusive Husband When There’s A Child Involved.
This mother in India is doing her best to leave her abusive husband, despite her family’s pressure to stay. Although her location does present some unique, cultural challenges, most of her fears, centering around doing what’s best for her child and being able to line up with the future she truly wants, are universal.
We also explored how the world is changing, not only for women and girls, but overall. If you’re struggling with female empowerment, divorce with children, or an abusive situation, this call will help you not only feel much more positive and hopeful, but will give you practical steps you can use TODAY to line up with the future you want.
Awesome Dude’s Burning Question: “How can you overcome the skeptics that always try and debunk anything unconventional? Every time I read something written by a skeptic, my throat gets extremely tight and my head starts to hurt. It’s gotten so bad that the tight throat is chronic, and I’m always thinking about skeptics. It’s like they’re stuck in my mind. I need help to become stronger and to stop thinking about skeptics all the time.”
Dear Awesome Dude,
Here’s your awesome video answer:
Watch the Video directly on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXrcEjDKu9Y
Aaaand here’s the Transcript:
So Awesome Dude, what you’re saying is that you think about sceptics all the time. And so you manifest a bunch of evidence of people who are sceptics, and you look at that evidence and think about it some more and then you get more of that, and then you think about it some more and you get some more evidence, and then you think about that some more. And that’s how you build lots and lots of negative momentum. That’s also why your throat is constricting and your head is hurting.
What is a sceptic?
But let’s take a look at what a sceptic actually is. I mean a sceptic is actually just any person that doesn’t agree with what you believe is true. It doesn’t matter what side of the debate you’re on, the other person is sceptical of your belief system and therefore you call them a non-believer. Now you can stand on any side of the debate and call the other side a sceptic and it’s really important to make this distinction. There aren’t people who are right, and then people who are the sceptics. Everyone wants to believe that, but that’s not how it is. The truth is that everybody’s right. Everyone has a right to their point of view. And I understand that this might really piss some people off, because there are a lot of people out there who rely on “facts” and hard science. But I promise you that for any point of view, even the scientific ones, you can find studies that completely defy that point of view and prove that the opposite is true.
Let’s take something like alternative medicine for example. There are people who swear by it, who use nothing else and would never use allopathic medicine. And then there are those people who think it’s total crap; it doesn’t do anything, it’s just wishful thinking and it could even be dangerous. You’ll find lots and lots of people on either side of the debate all across the spectrum. Some people are vehemently for or vehemently against it, and some people are just kind of “meh”. Some people are just kind of for it or kind of against it and a lot of people don’t really care.
There is no ONE right answer
Did you know that alternative medicine doesn’t work for everyone? Did you also know that allopathic/traditional medicine doesn’t work for everyone? Did you know that nothing works for everybody? You see, that’s the point here. There is no one solution to everybody’s problem. Everyone keeps looking for it, but they don’t find it. We keep searching for the magic pill, the one answer, the one religion, the one God, the one diet, the one job, the one everything. It doesn’t work that way.
We’re not here to all be the same. We’re not here to all agree with each other and have the exact same opinion. I mean how freaking boring would that be? Seriously…
We’re actually here to each see our own point of view, to see an aspect of reality that is completely and uniquely our own. And by the very design of that structure, we’re not going to agree with each other!
We’re all right
For example, let’s say there are three people who are each looking at an apple, but they only get a tiny bit of information about that apple. I might see a red object. I’m not sure of the shape of it, I don’t know how big it is, but I can see that there’s some red there. And someone else might see it in shadow and say “Oh! I see something round.” And someone else might get a taste of it and say “Ooh! I taste something sweet.” Now, each one of us would be right. We’ve each seen an aspect of the apple. And we could all battle each other to the death, absolutely insisting that our view of what the object was, was true. And if you subscribe to the belief that if one person’s right, everyone else must be wrong, which a lot of people still do, then a fight would ensue. And this is, in fact, how most arguments, most fights and most wars start. One side has to be right, and everybody else has to be wrong.
But when you understand that the apple is both red and round, and then you add the information that it tastes sweet, now you have more information of the whole. We’re all right. We’re all seeing a piece of the puzzle. We’re all seeing an aspect of the divine. And when we add that information together, when we celebrate the fact that none of us have the same point of view and we actually listen to each other and get the information that’s there (which does not mean that you have to agree with the other person, just listen to their point of view and validate it, as valid for them, true for them. It’s another aspect of reality that you can either choose or choose not to adopt for yourself), then there’s no need to ever have an argument again. You don’t need to argue with someone who’s simply telling you what the other side of the house looks like, the side that you haven’t seen.
So, you can say “Hey! This house has four sides, and I’ve seen one. Hey you over there! What does the next side look like? Hey you over there! What does the third side look like? Hey you over there! What does the fourth side look like?” And then, “You know what? I really prefer the side that I’ve been looking at all along”, or “Hmmm, I might prefer another side. Let me try out their points of view. Let me engage with their points of view and then decide.” Your point of view is a choice. Your belief system is a choice, particularly once you’ve become aware of it.
How to deal with sceptics
Now, let me bring this back to scepticism. If you truly believe that you create your own reality, then you know that sceptics showing up in your reality, in your personal little slice of reality, your aspect of it, are only showing up to get a certain reaction from you. And the reaction that they’re getting from you is that you’re not entirely sure of yourself. You want to believe that you create your own reality, but you’re not entirely sure that you do. The Universe has brought you (you have manifested) a challenge to your belief system. When you understand that it’s not really a challenge, that everyone gets to believe what they believe and you don’t have to get anyone to agree with you, that you don’t have to agree with them, that you don’t have to convince them of anything, then you can let them go. You can bless everybody for their opinion. And you can understand that it’s your choice what you bring into your reality, and what you don’t want to bring into your reality, remembering that whatever you focus on is what you bring in.
So, Awesome Dude, you’ve been bringing sceptics into your reality, by focusing on sceptics. Focus on something else instead. Focus on your power, focus on your ability to choose your point of view. Focus on the fact that it’s so awesome that we each have a different point of view.
So what if someone doesn’t believe what you believe? So what if they even think that you’re an idiot? Who cares? Their opinion is just their opinion. And they’re entitled to it. But you don’t have to choose to adopt their point of view of you or of the world. So, keep believing what makes you feel good and let them believe what makes them feel good, or what happens to be serving them in this moment.
Because, how do you know that by you allowing them to have their point of view, it doesn’t make them think and wonder how you can be so balanced, so Zen; how being challenged so openly isn’t causing you to lose your vibrational stability, or get into a bad mood or fight back. How do you know that THAT’s not the catalyst that they’ve been waiting for, to break out of a point of view that isn’t serving them and into one that is? You may never know that, and you may never know what point of view they’ve chosen that makes them feel better. But how do you know that you holding unapologetically to your point of view, while allowing them to have theirs, isn’t exactly the healing that they needed, and the healing that you needed?