Coaching Call #097 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Becoming a Healer: What If We Can’t Help?
This healer was holding herself back from fully doing what she wanted, but wasn’t sure why. We uncovered a fear that pretty much every healer must face – what happens when we can’t heal someone? Sure, she “knew” she couldn’t help everyone, but how do you actually fully drop the sense of obligation and guilt?
If you’re a healer or want to be one, this call will take you further down the rabbit hole and help you step into your power. This call is less about explaining the healing process and more about getting you ready to actually dive in, ready to have the time of your life while helping others.
Awesome Jim’s Burning Question: “In this reality that we are enjoying now it seems almost impossible to manifest the feeling that whatever you have created in your vortex is already here. I am having real problems with that part of the process. I am meditating more and I am feeling better because of it, but the new motorcycle I have in my vortex is as yet invisible. There is still an element of “It ain’t here yet and I want it to be” playing in my heart and mind. How can I overcome this resistive thinking? How can I really feel like the dark blue cruiser with LOTS of chrome, a windshield, and a fairing is already in my parking spot?”
Dear Awesome Jim,
Ah yes, the age old dilemma that everyone bumps up against when they begin to do this Law of Attraction work. You’re told that if you can just get into the feeling of already having what you want, you will align yourself with the frequency of it and then what you want will just float into your reality. And that’s true. But this simplified explanation of the process can leave a lot of people confused. How can you actually get into the feeling of having what you want when you don’t have it? How can you NOT notice that it’s not there? Do you have to become totally delusional and truly believe that there’s a motorcycle in your garage, or a dream lover in your bed, or a million dollars in your account? How far do we have to take this make believe stuff?
Well, don’t worry. You don’t have to completely detach from reality in order to manifest what you want. Let me give you an explanation that’s a little more, um, thorough, which should help to clear up any confusion.
It’s a means to an end
First of all, it’s important to understand that the motorcycle isn’t actually what you REALLY want. Now, I know, you’re ready to argue this point to the death. Of course you want the motorcycle. It’s all you can think about. How dare I insinuate that you don’t really want it? Well, if I may be annoyingly nit-picky here and point out my exact wording: I did not say that you don’t want a motorcycle. I said that it’s not what you REALLY want. It’s merely a representation of what you REALLY want.
What the hell does that mean, you ask? Well, I shall tell you. But, please keep in mind that the concept I’m about to explain is one of the hardest for most people to truly wrap their brains around (not in theory, but in practice), especially when it comes to something they have been yearning for, for a long time. So, please try to keep an open mind until you get to the end. Then you can still vehemently argue why I’m wrong, if you still want to. Ok? Ok.
You see, what you want, what you really, really want, is always, ALWAYS a feeling. It is never something material or physical. This is not to say that the physical stuff isn’t important or enjoyable. Of course it is. But the stuff you think you want is only ever a representation of a deeper desire – a feeling. Your imagination, one of your innate tools of reality creation, will come up with the best possible representation your tiny brain can conceive of. I’m not making fun of your brain in particular here, Awesome Jim, I’m talking about human brains in general. You see, our brains, while pretty magnificent, aren’t built to conceive of or even fully understand all the possibilities that exist in the Universe(s). They are mostly like computers (kick ass, awesome computers, but computers nonetheless). They can follow commands and perform many tasks, but they cannot think for themselves. They cannot create on their own. They need input from somewhere.
Lucky for us, such input is abundantly available. Ok, some of this input is a bunch of rubbish. This is what we refer to as “limiting beliefs”. These are old programs that no longer serve us which are still running on the hardware that is our brain computer. But this post isn’t about that (this one is).
Where do your thoughts come from?
When you have a thought, that thought didn’t originate in your brain. You may think that it did, and it’s totally understandable if you do, but you’d be wrong. That’s like saying that your coffee maker has become sentient and is now thinking for itself. I don’t care how fancy your espresso maker is, the day that it bludgeons your co-worker to death because he keeps making decaf espresso and it’s little Italian heart just can’t take such sacrilege, isn’t likely to come anytime soon.
A thought is actually a manifestation. You became a vibrational match to that thought and it floated on into your brain, where it was translated into something you could understand. The same principle applies to ideas and memories. Your brain doesn’t actually create or even store any of that information. It simply translates and transmits it to you. Your brain, for the purposes of this metaphor, is basically a radio. Ok, ok, a super cool two way radio with a built in super computer, but a radio, all the same.
Nothing floats on into your brain by accident. If you are thinking a thought, it’s because it matches the frequency that you’re attuned to and was therefore attracted to you. If you have a memory, it’s because it matches your vibration. And if your imagination comes up with the picture of a super cool motorcycle, it’s because you’re attuned to whatever that motorcycle represents. The thoughts, ideas and their physical counterparts are merely representations of certain frequencies. They are your brain’s attempt to translate this non-physical energy into something you can understand and can therefore work with.
Where it all goes wrong
This process of your brain translating pure energy into something you can visualize or even touch is essential to the reality creation (or actually receiving) process. When you have something concrete to represent a vibration, it makes it much easier to focus on that frequency. In other words, if you want to be loved, it’s much easier to visualize an image (like your grandma, for example) that represents and therefore evokes that feeling within you, than to think of the abstract concept of being loved. The image or symbol is a focusing tool that helps you attain a certain frequency state.
This would all be well and good if it weren’t for us humans having decided that the representation of the vibration is 1.) what we REALLY want and/or 2.) the BEST POSSIBLE REPRESENTATION of our desire that the Universe has to offer. After all, if your imagination can’t conceive of anything better, or if you haven’t heard of a better version, it must not exist. In the infinite potential of creation that is the Universe. Ever. Anywhere. [For the sarcastically challenged amongst you, this is your alert. You’re welcome.] This is why no one ever goes window shopping or spends hours on the net looking at the latest gadgets. When you go shopping you simply send an email with exactly what you want to Amazon. No need to expose yourself to stuff you didn’t know existed. You have, in your life experience, found the best version of everything there is and you’re sticking to it. This, incidentally, puts you in the same camp as the type of person who, after going to one beach in his entire life, declares that beach to be the BEST BEACH IN THE WHOLE WORLD. Do you want to be that kind of person? Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Your imagination is limited to your current vibration, which, if you don’t mind me saying, is NOT YET a match to what you want (otherwise, we wouldn’t be having this conversation). This means that your imagination cannot possibly come up with the image or idea that actually truly represents what you want. It can only give you the version you currently have access to. It comes as close as it possibly can.
If you then decide that this version is the ultimate representation of what you want and that it must come into your reality in order for you to feel the way you want to feel, you’ll get yourself stuck right where you are, instead of continuously progressing towards what you truly want. Confused yet? Let me give you an example:
Bob and his new job
Bob wants a new job. He has decided that a job in XYZ company would be his DREAM job. He has heard great things about them, and every time he even thinks of working for them, he gets all tingly inside. Now, you might think that these tingles are a sign that Bob should definitely apply for a job at XYZ, but every time he does, he gets turned down. What gives? Well, what Bob doesn’t realize is that he is not yet a match to his perfect job, and while a position at XYZ wouldn’t be bad, it’s not actually the best he can do. Right now, however, it’s the best representation in his reality that Bob has access to.
The job that Bob wants represents a feeling of freedom, challenge, autonomy, pride, self-worth and abundance. And while Bob has been working on raising his vibration, he’s not yet quite at the point where he fully embodies all of these feelings. Let’s just focus on one emotion for now, for the sake of this example. A job at XYZ represents the highest levels of autonomy that Bob has access to now, given his limiting beliefs. He cannot have an idea or manifest an example that defies these beliefs completely. In other words, he wants total autonomy, which he would have if he started his own company, but he’s far too afraid of the risk he thinks that such an action would require, and so he’s blocking his ability to manifest autonomy to the degree that he would like. He never dreams of having his own business, because when he does, his mind turns it into a negative – a situation in which his fears of losing it all come true. A job at XYZ represents MORE autonomy than he currently has, so it’s closer to what he actually wants. But the truth is, if he took a job there, he’d be just as dissatisfied within 6 months as he is now, because this job doesn’t actually represent autonomy. It simply represents it MORE than his current situation. It’s the best possible representation that his brain could come up with, but it doesn’t actually match what he truly wants. Not yet.
See it as a place holder
Are you beginning to understand how that thing you think you really want could actually only be a place holder for something even better? And how that thing you think you want is actually not what you REALLY want? Again, I get it. This is hard. When you try to tell your brain that you don’t really want the motorcycle, or the lover, or the million dollars, it reacts with panic. Are you trying to take away the thing it wants most? Are you telling it that it can’t have what it wants? And then, like a 3 year old, your brain throws a tantrum.
But remember that letting go of the idea that your desire is what you really want, or that it’s the best possible representation of what you really want, is not the same as letting go of what you want. Your brain may try to lie to you on that. Sometimes your brain can be a bit of an asshole.
If you understand that what you have been focusing on, the motorcycle in your case, is simply an image that represents a feeling (which is why it feels so good to think of it), and may not even be the best possible representation you could receive (it can get even better!!), you’ll be able to back off a little. It’s fine to visualize the motorcycle if it makes you feel good. In fact, that’s why your imagination came up with it. But the whole point of doing that visualization is for you to get into the feeling that it represents, not to actually get the motorcycle.
And yes, I can hear you panicking now. Hold on. I’m not done.
You can totally get what you want. What you really, really want.
You want the motorcycle because of the way that you think it will make you feel. But the truth is, the motorcycle can only manifest when you are an actual match to the feeling it represents. You have to be willing to let go of the idea that you need to actually have the motorcycle in order to be completely happy (and if you’re disappointed that you don’t yet have the motorcycle, you haven’t fully done that), and allow yourself to go straight for the feeling it represents instead.
And here’s the icky truth that people never want to hear: You don’t need ANYTHING to manifest at all in order to achieve that feeling. You can just work your way into that feeling using different representations (images, memories, ideas, thoughts) that evoke that feeling in you. As you do, you’ll notice that evoking that feeling will become easier and easier. You’ll whittle away at your resistance and you’ll become more and more of a match to what you truly want. And, as you do that, representations of your new vibration will manifest in your physical reality. That’s how the Law of Attraction works.
If, however, you still need the motorcycle in order to feel REALLY good, if you are thinking “once I have that motorcycle, life will be so fun”, in other words “it’s not that fun now…”, you are not yet a match to what the motorcycle represents, and therefore not a match to the motorcycle (not to mention whatever the Universe can come up with that’s even better).
When you think of something fun, it simply means that your brain has just delivered onto you an image or idea that represents the fun you want to have in the best possible way you can currently access, NOT the best possible way it can ultimately manifest. It’s also a message that you want to have more fun. If you then focus on the feeling of fun, on having more fun, on bringing more fun into your life, the image or idea you came up with might actually manifest. Or, something even better will come in, something that will surprise you and make you exclaim stuff like, “Holy shit! Did that just happen?!” The problem is that most people have forgotten that life can be amazing. We don’t set any limits on how bad things can get (“I can’t even imagine how bad this could get. Let’s not define our fear but just be limitlessly scared just in case.”), but we have no issues limiting the awesomeness that we feel is possible for us. We’ve gotten so used to expecting the worst that we forget to expect the best (and beyond).
When you insist that things come to you exactly the way you imagined them, you are actually trying to control the HOW – how the Universe will bring you what you REALLY want. Stop that. Focus on the feeling, on what you really want, on the core desire. Generate that feeling within yourself NOW (not someday when things are different). Then, be open to whatever manifestations BEST match your new vibration. Oh, yeah, and prepare to be totally blown away. Vrooom. Vrooom.