Healing Phobias with the Law of Attraction


Coaching Call #091 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Leaving an Abusive Relationship.

This caller is a woman in India, stuck in an abusive family and in a relationship with an abusive man. She’s dealing with cultural issues and the pressure to get married to a man she doesn’t know or love. Abuse is a huge subject, and there was no way we could completely sort it out in one call. But we were able to make a great deal of headway in terms of finding the strength to take immediate action to protect herself, as well as beginning the process of shifting the underlying beliefs that are the true cause of her situation.

This will be a powerful call for anyone who has the tendency to let others cross their boundaries, whether it has escalated to full on abuse or not. It will also give you powerful insights into how abusive relationships happen, should you have a loved one who is currently in such a situation.

I’m overjoyed to report that this caller has already contacted me with good news: “When you told me to leave the douchebag with such confidence, somehow I finally gave myself permission to let go.”

Read the full call summary here.


Awesome Marie’s Burning Question: “How can you heal and release a specific fear? I’m thinking of irrational fears or phobias. I know that exposure therapy is a commonly recommended technique, but that does not feel at all in line with LOA in the vein of Abraham Hicks. It would be much better to resolve the fear on an emotional level first, before going forward with action. Any tips?”

Dear Awesome Marie,

Here’s your video answer:

Watch the video directly on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl9_o2M7Lq4&feature=youtu.be

Read the Highlights!

For those of you not familiar with exposure therapy, it basically entails immersing yourself in whatever it is you’re afraid of, in the hopes that your brain will get the message that there’s nothing to be afraid of and the fear will dissipate.

So, for example, if you’re afraid of spiders, you’d throw yourself into a vat full of spiders (or possibly just hold a spider in your hand…) and then by virtue of you not dying, your mind would realize that spiders are not dangerous and your fear would go away.

Yeah. F#%k that.

Exposure therapy can work, but…

Exposure or immersion therapy is a valid tool, but that’s all it really is – a tool. And a pretty stressful one, at that. Whether or not it will work for any individual depends on a huge variety of factors; what the fear is, how it was formed, how hard core the patient is, what the fear is associated with, etc. Not all tools will work all the time, and you’re absolutely right to follow your own guidance. If this therapy doesn’t resonate with you, then it’s not the tool that will work for you right now.

What exactly is a phobia?

A phobia is really just a fear, and while all fears are irrational, they are, like all emotions, simply messengers. If you’ve developed a phobia, it means that there’s something that’s not serving you, that you’re not paying attention to.

For example, let’s say you have a crappy job with a tyrannical boss, but according to your belief system, you can’t leave. You feel totally trapped and powerless. In that case, you might develop claustrophobia. Every time you get into an elevator, or any other enclosed spaces, you feel trapped – a perfect representation of the feeling you’re ignoring in your job.

Now, what the underlying fear is won’t always be obvious to you. If you’ve developed a phobia, it means you’ve had numerous other, less severe manifestations that you’ve ignored. This is a situation you’re suppressing or which has been with you for such a long time that it appears “normal”. Don’t feel bad if you can’t immediately figure out what the root cause of your fear is. In these cases it can be very beneficial to get some help via a friend, therapist or coach. What is a mystery to you might be blaringly obvious to someone looking at your situation from the outside.

The key is to figure out what your fear feels like and what it actually represents. When you release that fear, all symptoms of that belief will automatically dissolve along with it.

Phobias can be cured

Phobias can be released, and actually rather quickly. Immersion therapy can work, but it can also simply serve to sever the connection between the root cause (feeling a lack of control) and the trigger (heights, for example). If the underlying fear is not addressed, you may lose your phobia, but another manifestation will take its place pretty quickly. You can’t run away from your vibration.

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  • Avatar SK says:

    Thank you for the post.
    It’s good and timely.

  • Avatar Summer Starr says:

    It’s so funny! I was going to email you and ask you how we “get rid of things” using LOA – since it’s hard to get rid of things without focusing on them. 🙂
    I have an INTENSE fear of fast, creepy crawly bugs (especially roaches). The house I live in gets those really big palmetto bugs (not roaches I know but they are scarier because they’re bigger). I just kind of thought, well maybe if I raise my vibration enough, they will just go away or not appear in the same space as I am at the same time. Or my lovely kitty Luna (aka my body guard lol) would dispose of them during the day while I’m at work. Wrong! 🙁
    I guess I know why now. I don’t know what it could be tied to though. I mean, I can’t even look at pictures of them, I get so freaked out. I’m not really sure what that could be tied to. I have a couple of ideas, but they don’t make sense with WHEN I developed the phobia. I remember EXACTLY what caused my phobia. I dunno. I guess this is something I need to look into. It would be nice not to almost have a heart attack any time I see one.

    • Avatar Robert says:

      Maybe it helps if you simply change your perspective of things. Remember, in reality, everything is vibrating and oscillating energy, everything is made out of the same “stuff” – and so are those bugs. Imagine those bugs as vibrating energy balls in all different colors. and that’s actually how little babies (who are not conditioned and formated yet) experience the world around them – as one big ocean of vibrating, colorful energy.

      Also, the quickest and easiest way to overcome your fears is to face them. So, when you see one of those bugs next time, simply observe it with a calm, neutral, non-judgmental mind for 10, 15, 20… minutes. And again, you can imagine the bug as colorful light ball.

      Do this simply bug meditation and you may even fall in love with those bugs 🙂

      By falling in love with them, I simply mean allowing and accepting them as part of nature. And as we all know, everything in nature happens and exists for a valid reason.

      • Avatar Summer Starr says:

        Ok when you said “fall in love with those bugs” I was like “Uh NO!!!!!” LOL!
        I can allow and accept them as a part of nature, but I stil ain’t touching them though. lol
        But I have been wracking my brain for the past two days trying to figure this thing out. Now that I know this could be tied to a belief, I want to find out what it is and squash it – like a bug? HA! I just can’t think of ANYTHING that terrifies me as much as those bugs do. I keep leaning toward either death or success but neither of those things terrify me to the point of almost freaking out when I think about them. And I developed this phobia when I was a child. I wasn’t thinking about my future success or death back then. I just can’t put my finger on anything else that would cause me to feel that much terror.
        Whatever it is, I must not be “ready” to release it yet. Thankfully, they are usually already dead by the time I see them or they are almost dead. So I’ll try this next time instead of screaming immediately for hubby to come get it. I hate being a wuss. LOL!

        Oooooh helplessness, powerlessness????? *wheels turning*
        I shall be doing lots of meditating tonight. 🙂

  • Avatar A.Blindy says:

    Great post.
    It’s pretty funny, because I recently was looking with a friend for the pattern of a fear. We looked at the thing this friend feared, and first “chunked up” (that’s chunked up, not up chunked) and asked, “What is this thing an example of?” And after becoming more vague on that, we were able to “chunk sideways” by asking, “What are other examples of this?”
    So to clarify, if someone was afraid of, say, spiders, I might ask, “What is a spider an example of?” And they will say, “Something that can be dangerous.”
    Then, I might “chunk sideways” by asking, “What are other examples of things that seem dangerous, possibly which are in your life?”
    And I’m not feeling creative enough to come up with an example answer, so I will leave it there.
    Thanks for the great video.

  • Avatar Amanda says:

    You’re hilarious, Melody. Insightful, of course, but your expressions crack me up. Hahaha.

  • Avatar A.Blindy says:

    The website I left in that comment is NOT mine, I do not own any rights to it. Just wanted to link to it.

  • Hi Melody,

    Very interesting topic here and I’m sure this can give a AHA moment to many. When I was little I had a tremendous phobia of spiders, and back then none of the adults around me would have been able to detect what it was.

    Even though I’m not about to have a tarantula craw up my arm anytime soon 🙂 I do not have that unhealthy phobia anymore.

    Based on my knowledge today (and your post kind of confirms that), I think that phobia was due to do my extreme anguish due to my being bullied at school for 12 long years. So it makes total sense that phobias be related to other “real” issues we have in life.

  • Avatar Keeley says:

    so so funny Melody, and great info as always. You just make me smile 🙂 Much love and thanks x x x

  • Avatar Solace says:

    Thanks soooo much Melody:))

  • Hey Melody, how’s about giving credit where credit is due and not plagiarizing? (i.e, ripping off Gary Larson’s Anatidaephobia caption and context?)

    More info: http://31.media.tumblr.com/983fbb975608f68bc27fd9e873eb1cbe/tumblr_mt0rh3pIET1stxqq3o1_400.jpg

    • Hey there,
      I actually had no idea this was Gary Larson’s joke. I did look it up but found no reference to an original source. Thank you so very much for letting me know and linking to Gary’s original cartoon here.

      Huge hugs,

  • Avatar Ann says:

    Thanks Melody! Love the information in the video and will use it to help me release some negative issues that have lead to phobias.

  • Avatar Linda says:

    I have phobia of puking. It’s probably because I’m afraid of losing account duties and not being liked? But I can not find anything that I have known the same feeling as I do with the phobia. How do I do? 🙁 I hate this!

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