Coaching Call #090 is out! The topic of this week’s call is: Her Fear of Failure is Holding Her Back in Her Career.
This client has been on the long, slow career path for far too many years. She knows that she’ll reach her goals eventually, but is there no way to speed up her progress? When can we know when we’re ready to take the leap? How much preparation is necessary and how much of a role does skill level play in our chances of success?
Our fear of failure can be crippling and our minds will come up with all kinds of excuses as to why we’re not ready to go for what we truly want. If you want to learn an easy and gentle way to release that fear, especially when it comes to the workplace (but it’s really applicable to all areas of life), this call is for you.
Awesome Bhavi’s Burning Question: “How do we help our thoughts when we’re trying to move ahead from the past? How do we shift our thoughts ‘coz at times we find ourselves constantly getting those unwanted thoughts from our past? And how does this affect us in the present as well?”
Dear Awesome Bhavi,
Here’s your video answer:
Like to read instead? Here are the highlights!
I’ve got some “news” for you: The past doesn’t exist. The future doesn’t exist. There’s only really the present, and that’s where all your power lies.
Now, I know. You’ve heard this before. And it sounds really great, only how do you apply this to real life? Here’s how:
Your memories are manifestations
Here’s the thing; your memories are just thoughts that you’re manifesting in the moment (aka, NOW). Memories, thoughts and ideas have certain frequencies, and these frequencies have to match your vibration in order to come into your reality. NOTHING can manifest for you unless it matches your current vibration. So, if the only way you can have a memory is if you’re focusing on something that feels exactly the way that memory does.
You don’t have to have memories, you choose to have them, even if you’re not aware of the fact that you’re choosing them.
The easy way to stop having a memory is to simply start focusing differently and change your vibration.
But, what if you can’t seem to do that?
If you’re having a negative memory that’s consistently popping into your mind and ruining your day, it’s really just like any other persistent negative manifestation. The way to “get rid of it” is not to run away from it or to ignore it, but to look at it, engage with it, step into it. Memories, like all negative manifestations, are simply messengers, here to show you that you’re holding on to something that isn’t serving you.
Let me give you an example: When I’m working with a client who has some unidentified resistance, we can use memories to help us ferret out what belief we’re dealing with. If he focuses on a recent event (like a fight with his girlfriend in which he got way angrier than was warranted), and gets into the feeling of it, he will activate that feeling and more manifestations that match it will show up. That’s how LOA works.
Now, I can hear you asking if that wouldn’t just make his life worse, because isn’t focusing on the negative a big, giant no-no in the Law of Attraction world, let me explain: when you have resistance that’s affecting your life, you want to release that. If you can’t figure out what it is, you can amplify the resistance, gather more data and get a better picture. Then, once you’ve gotten that clarity, you can release the belief that was causing all that harm. If you’re doing this in a controlled manner, you won’t cause any problems. In fact, leaving the belief where it is, to fester and grow, will actually cause a lot more issues. Ok, back to my example:
As the client focuses on the fight, memories, thoughts and ideas that match the frequency of the event (and therefore the belief) will surface. These memories can often seem unrelated to the event, but the very fact that they’ve shown up means they can’t be. They can only manifest if they match the frequency that’s being offered. So, we dissect these memories, looking for patterns.
The client was mad during the fight. But why exactly was he mad? Well, he might state that it was because he was being yelled at. But when we dig deeper to get a more specific view of the feeling, he’ll realize that it was because he felt that he wasn’t being heard. After a few more minutes of sitting with that feeling, he’ll remember that his dad also didn’t listen to him. It’s at this point that we can usually identify the underlying belief – the decision he made about himself way back when. This belief might be something like “I’m not worthy of being listened to. I’m not valuable”, which is a horrible belief and will bring up tons of anger when activated. It also explains why he overreacted to the fight with his girlfriend. He wasn’t reacting to her, he was reacting to a life-long feeling of not being heard.
Releasing “past trauma”
If you have “past trauma” that’s holding you hostage, you can release it in the NOW. Of course, there really is no such thing as the past, and therefore, all trauma must and can be released in the present. The beautiful thing is that there is not trauma so great that it can’t be let go of. And yes, I know this is hard to believe, but I’ve had the great privilege of being both witnessing and experiencing the release of incredibly traumatic events in seconds. You have to allow yourself the realization that you can decide to feel better RIGHT NOW, that “past” events which are not happening currently have no power over you unless you decide that they do.
So, how do you get rid of negative memories? You don’t. You work with them. You see them as the messengers they are, and release the underlying belief that’s causing you to manifest them. Then, when you’ve changed your vibration, those memories will no longer be a match to you and will dissipate.