In the post Can I Actually Manifest Positives While Thinking Negatively?, I explained that you are always moving towards what you want, even if you’re not aware of it (or if it seems like the opposite is happening). I illustrated that as you line up with what you want, you move towards it, and any resistance you have against your goal will start to pop up and smack you in the face so that you can become aware of it, shift if out of the way and keep on moving forward. This is essentially the main pillar of all this Law of Attraction work.
Supporting the process
Any healing method that’s going to work has to respect this natural, Universal process, and everything I do in my coaching practice is geared towards simply supporting my clients through it. I don’t need to reach in and rip anyone’s resistance from them (can’t do that anyway, no matter how much you beg me). No one can heal you until you’re ready to manifest healing. What I can do is help people to line up with the frequency of what they want and then assist them in shifting the resistance that floats to the top out of the way. My coaching sessions are simply the start of the process – we figure out what the client REALLY wants, focus on it together (I add my energy to theirs to help support them and speed up the process), and then kind of just wait and see what pops up. Yes, seriously. If the resistance comes up during the coaching session, I can help to identify it and shift it well before it manifests into something bigger, but often, one hour isn’t enough for all the resistance to surface. And so, we wait.
At the end of most coaching calls, I prepare my clients for what they might experience. These are general instructions, since everyone is different, but basically, it comes down to allowing whatever emotions may come to do so. If they need to cry, they should cry. If they get angry, they can journal or punch a pillow. If they get really tired, they should take a nap. We have to allow ourselves to feel these emotions, even indulge them a bit, and whatever we do, we can’t squash them. That’s what got us into this mess in the first place. It’s important not to judge these emotions or even try to interpret them in that moment. We can do that later. But this isn’t an intellectual journey. It’s an emotional one. And that’s the bit that makes most people so uncomfortable – they like to use their minds to dissect what’s going on and solve problems. Allowing feelings is completely new territory for many people and new territory tends to be scary.
I also assure my clients that, although they can expect some emotions to come up, and that they may even be somewhat volatile (in the case of an anger release, for example), that they don’t have to worry that they’ll suddenly burst into tears during an important business meeting. They are working with their higher selves here, and YOU know what you want and don’t want. If breaking down at your desk would be detrimental to you, YOU will know it and won’t let that happen. There’s far more orchestration and support available to you than you may realize.
So, no, you’re not going to have a massive attack of emotions during the most inconvenient moments of your life. Except… here’s the thing: Most of us aren’t very good at judging when a convenient time would be. If asked, many of us would say that NO time is a good time to have a little mini-breakdown. If you’re constantly busy with work and kids and PTA meetings and other stress, convenient is usurped by possible. And this method of distraction could very well be one of the main reasons your negative manifestations have had to become bigger and bigger. If your life is whooshing by you at rocket speed, you simply won’t have time to notice when things feel a bit off.
So, while your emotional releases won’t hit you at the MOST inconvenient times, they will hit you at times that you think are rather inconvenient and maybe even impossible, but which really aren’t. Let me give you an example from my own life.
One of my biggest goals for 2013 is to learn the language of the body (how to communicate with our physical bodies so we can work together to manifest health, weight loss, etc. easily). Because I’ve set this goal and am doing all I can to line up with it, all kinds of obstacles have been popping up. When I was 5, I ran head first into the corner of a cabinet while I was playing. I sustained a superficial head injury, but needed stitches. According to my mom, the hospital staff were just horrendously rude because they’d been called in on a Sunday, and wouldn’t even let her in the room with me to hold my hand while they stitched up my head. It was an incredibly traumatic and terrifying incident for me, and I had intermittent nightmares for years afterwards. As an adult, I didn’t give it another thought. I figured I’d processed the trauma along the way, and psychologically, I had. I wasn’t afraid of doctors or hospitals, the nightmares were long gone and I was even able to feel compassion for the staff that Sunday night. What I hadn’t counted on was the fact that my body still remembered the incident and the memory not only served as a bit of resistance, but also made for a perfect demonstration of an aspect of how our physical bodies are connected to our emotions and minds. I was sitting at my PC writing one afternoon when I felt a sharp pain at the top of my head where the old scar is. I was then overcome by a deep sadness, almost like grief. After crying for a bit, I suddenly felt a lot better. It wasn’t until after I stopped crying that I received the clarity of what this emotional release was about. I just had to let it happen. My body had to release the trauma it had sustained. Interestingly enough, before this incident, I would often have some discomfort (not really pain, just kind of an annoying twinge) in that scar. Since that release, I haven’t felt a damn thing up there (insert joke here).
Due to the nature of my work and the fact that I’m really, really ambitious in my focusing, I have releases like this all the time. Now, here’s the thing: I squoosh all my coaching appointments into three days a week. The rest of the week, I write, answer emails, take care of admin work, run my errands, clean the house and even manage to take a day off. If I were to have a release during one of my coaching days, this would be a very, very bad thing. I can’t raise myself to a high vibration if I’m in the middle of a crying jag. So, coaching days are off limits. My other days are generally jam packed as well, so if one were too look at my weekly schedule, one might conclude that I simply don’t have the time to have an emotional release. The Universe, however, knows better. The plans on my “flexible” days routinely get completely thrown out the window due to emotional upheaval. Somehow, I still manage to get everything done (inspired action and loads of orchestrating by the Universe). For example, I might have someone cancel an appointment just in time for me to be overcome by fatigue so severe that I have to take a siesta nap (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it).
You have to make time for growth
Here’s my point: Meditating and visualizing are fantastic tools, but they’re not enough. The main reason that we’re so disconnected from who we really are, is because we’ve been taught not to pay attention to our emotions and to do our best to suppress them. When we get in touch with our emotions, they begin to emerge. Stuck emotions (another way to see resistance) have to come out. They have to be felt. And if they’ve been suppressed for a long time, they might come out with a bit of force. This isn’t always going to be convenient. The Universe, or your higher self, knows that there are times when you simply cannot have such a release. Going to the grocery store, running errands, doing paperwork, or even going to dinner are NOT such times. Your life will not fall apart if you have to postpone or even cancel some of these activities. And so, your normal, everyday routine may well be interrupted by emotional releases.
If you don’t make time for your emotions, you cannot become self-aware. If you live your life in a foggy blur of, let’s face it, mostly meaningless activities, you cannot truly find happiness. You have to make room for growth. You have to be willing to shake up your schedule a bit. You have to allow time for the emotions to come. If you’re consistently too busy to pay attention to how you feel, you will never realize your greatest potential.
The good news is that the Universe won’t fall for your bullshit. If you’re focusing on manifesting the love of your life, but think “I simply cannot spare three hours to cry over how my dad abandoned me when I was three, (even though that release would allow me to trust men again and is a pre-requisite to me manifesting the awesome relationship I want)”, the Universe will show you that you do, indeed, have a three hour window. It will just miraculously reconfigure your schedule. The trick, of course, is to be flexible enough not to freak out about the rearrangement. Honestly, it’s amazing how crap just seems to work out. In fact, the new schedule often works out even better than the old one. This is because the Universe is way better at this crap than we are.
If you can remember that EVERYTHING that happens in your reality is happening on your behalf and for your benefit, it becomes a lot easier to trust that having to cancel an important meeting due to an emotional release will, in fact, work out just fine. I’ve never suffered negative consequences due to this kind of schedule change. In fact, it often works out better for both parties. There’s absolutely no reason to fear having these shifts, even if the emotions can be uncomfortable for a bit. There are, however, LOADS of reasons to allow these feelings to come up. This is part of the Universal Process that brings you to happiness, that place where everything you’ve ever wanted manifests into your reality easily and with perfect timing. I’d say that’s worth a bit of inconvenience. Wouldn’t you?
Have you been inconvenienced by an emotional release? Did the Universe help you orchestrate an alternative schedule? Are you willing to put up with a bit of chaos for the sake of happiness? Share in the comments!