Jane asks, “Hey Melody, I was wondering (uh oh) if the better we get at deliberate creating, the better we will be at attracting negative things as well as good. It’s like suddenly I’ve a power I don’t know how to use for good not evil :)”
I’ve received this question in various forms over the last few months. One of my clients even recently stopped doing the focusing exercises I gave her, because they worked too well, and she was afraid of her own power. After a lifetime of being told that you’re powerless, that things are just the way they are, and there’s not much you can do, and then suddenly getting a glimpse of the exact opposite – that everything in your reality is there as a direct result of your vibration, something you have complete and total control over, it can be incredibly scary to suddenly reality that you are, in fact, the freaking King or Queen of the world (or rather, your reality, but DiCaprio never said that, so whatever).
The main fear seems to be that if you can just make things happen with your thoughts, that you could easily lose control and start manifesting things that you don’t want. It’s the old “Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it” scenario. We don’t trust ourselves to be able to control such power. Let’s face it, our thoughts are really all over the place. Most of us aren’t very good at controlling our stray thoughts. And now that we’ve gotten a glimpse of just how powerful we are, we’re afraid of losing control and just creating chaos.
If a bit of focusing has gotten your nasty boss to become nice and reasonable over night, will the guy who cut you off in traffic and who you inadvertently wished would spontaneously explode in slow motion so that you could run up to the car and give him the finger just before it went up in a fireball, so that he’d know that he screwed with the wrong damn person, drive off a cliff on the way home? As you wish we had your neighbor’s house, will your powers fun amok, causing her to have to declare bankruptcy and sell you her house for pennies on the dollar? Or, even worse, will you end up with all kinds of manifestations that you don’t want? Will your stray thoughts of gaining weight cause you to tub up to 500 pounds overnight, or your fears of dying alone lead you into an abandoned house filled with cats where you inadvertently choke to death on your gum, leaving you to be eaten by the cats and cockroaches and zombies until you’re nothing but bones, and maybe a teenage stoner finds your skeleton fifty years from now and uses your skull as a bong, which wouldn’t have ever happened, only you read it on this blog and now you can’t get it out of your head so, yeah, that’s probably going to go down?
No. Just No. I can’t even shake my head emphatically enough on this one. OMFG No.
I’ll explain, shall I?
Your worst fear has already come true
The first thing I’d like to point out is that learning how to deliberately receive doesn’t suddenly make you more powerful. You’ve been powerful all along. And you’ve been manifesting all along. That’s right, your stray thoughts have been manifesting like crazy, bringing you, oh, let’s just take stock here, a whole bunch of stuff you didn’t want. That’s why, upon hearing that they create their own reality for the first time, a lot of people say “That can’t possibly be true. I would never create the life I have now.” Well, yes, you would, if you didn’t even know you were creating it, had no clue how you were doing it, and didn’t know how to change it. Your stray thoughts have created the reality you have, the one filled with all the stuff you don’t want. This, Daniel Son, is as bad as it’s going to get. The life you have (or had before you got into LOA) is the direct result of unfocused, out of control creating. This is the damage that your stray thoughts, unfettered by method or structure or awareness, will do.
So, the idea that gaining control of your focus and learning how to deliberately shape your reality could make things worse is, well, bullshit. If you want a crappy life, just observe what’s happening, and focus on all the things you don’t like. Then, watch what happens. Oh wait, you already did that. It’s called “how you grew up”. And, as I recall, you didn’t like it. Which is why you’re here.
Your thoughts or focus don’t create
As I explain in detail in my free e-book Deliberate Receiving, our thoughts don’t create. I’m not sure I even have to repeat this here, since I’m certain that all of you have read the book, right? RIGHT?!?!? Ok, for the one or two of you in the audience who haven’t taken advantage of this offer because a.) you don’t value things that are free (I can charge you $50 if it makes you feel better), b.) it’s your first time here (ok, newbie, you’re forgiven. No go read the damn book), or c.) you clearly aren’t serious about being happy (what other reason could there possibly be?! ;)), I’ll recap: Our thoughts don’t create. This should actually be totally obvious. I mean, how often have you thought of winning the lottery? Did you win? There you go.
Our thoughts and focus merely determine what you line up with. Actually, our dominant thoughts determine what we line up with and experience. This means that you could be thinking a thought (I want to win the lottery), but also inadvertently have a different and much more practiced thought (one which you, knowingly or unknowingly think more often) that you are doomed to be poor forever (or something like that). So, the dominant thought, the one you think more often than any other on the subject, lines you up with being poor. No lottery win for you. And, of course, you can tell which thought you’re thinking by how you feel.
Now, if thinking of winning the lottery every day for years doesn’t line you up with millions, than what makes you think that stray thoughts about strangling your mother in law will lead to her death, eh?
You are infinitely powerful, but…
… you still don’t get to manifest in other people’s realities. This means, you can’t cause someone else to die, become poor, or get the tar beaten out of them, no matter how much they may deserve it. You don’t get to determine what happens in their reality. You don’t cause people to be douchebags or saints. You only get to determine if the douchebags or saints make it into your reality or not, and how you experience them when they do.
The Universe knows what you want
In the post How Exactly Do We Create Our Reality? A Technical Explanation, I explain that your desires (or solutions to problems) are automatically “created” or activated when you focus on what you don’t want. In other words, when the guy cuts you off in traffic, you automatically activate the frequency of nice, courteous drivers. The Universe makes a note of this and basically adds it to the database of stuff you want (like Amazon and their database of preferences. Only way, WAY more accurate, since the Universe has been gathering data for way longer than Amazon. Plus, I’m pretty sure that the Universe has better computers.).
You don’t tell the Universe what you want by focusing on it, visualizing it, making affirmations about it, writing about it in your journal, talking about it, dreaming about it, or writing it on notes and burning them. The Universe knows what you want the second you want it, even before you realize that you want it. And, it never forgets.
All of those activities (visualizing, daydreaming, writing it down, etc.) are just tools to help you focus on what you want in a way that feels good. But again, focusing doesn’t create. Focusing simply lines you up with whatever you’re focusing upon.
You’ve been receiving all along
When you learn to focus deliberately, using whatever method you’ve decided works best for you, you are not suddenly creating more. You’re not suddenly shifting the Universe or your reality in ways you’ve never done before. You’re simply doing it, well, deliberately. So, instead of getting more of what you don’t want, or receiving the same thing over and over again, you’re suddenly and possibly for the first time in your life, getting loads of stuff that you do want. And that’s when you get scared. Only, you’ve been receiving all along. The process has been working all along. You haven’t changed anything except what it is you’re receiving!
It’s a bit like this: You grew up in a small town, which only had one restaurant (that’s right. It’s a food metaphor! Don’t all rush the stage at once). What’s more, no one in your family ever cooked. No one you knew ever cooked. Everyone just went to this one restaurant to eat. All your life, you ate only what was on that menu: hamburgers, pancakes, chicken fried steak, French fries and vanilla ice cream. It didn’t matter if you got sick of what was on that menu, it never changed and you never had any other choices.
Now, as an adult, you move to another city. You get a roommate, who just happens to be in culinary school, studying to be a chef. She suggests that you go the grocery store together, and so you tag along. And you can’t believe your eyes! So many choices! The grocery store has everything you’ve ever dreamed of, and stuff that fulfills desires you couldn’t have even named! Your roomie explains the different foods to you, shows you how to shop and then teaches you to prepare a few, simple dishes (I or any other LOA teacher am the roomie in this scenario, in case you missed it). Your taste buds explode! You never knew that such flavors existed, even though you always yearned for something other than the bland food and limited choices you grew up with.
But then, you get scared. Is it really ok to eat such amazing food? Won’t the sheer pleasure of having chocolate cause you to go on a demented rampage and eat everything in sight, including furniture and the cat (Chocolate: The Gateway Food)? Isn’t there a chance that you’ll lose control?
No. Freaking no. You’ve been eating all your life. Granted, you’ve been eating crap lacking any and all imagination, but you’ve been eating. Just because you are now eating stuff you actually like doesn’t mean you’re going to suddenly go nutso. Just because you’ve not realized that you have control over what you eat and that you’ve always had way more choices than you ever knew (the grocery store was always there…), doesn’t mean you’re going to suddenly start gnawing on doorframes. It’s a bit like that.
The biggest danger
The worst thing that can happen to you when you receive your reality deliberately, is that the wanted manifestations start coming in too fast. So, you end up being flooded with stuff you’ve always wanted at a pace that’s kind of uncomfortable. But, since you have control over what you line up with, guess what? You have control over the pace, too!
Let me give you an example from my own life: A while back, I decided I wanted to manifest more clients. I discovered a blockage and released it. And suddenly, before I could even implement my handy dandy new marketing strategy, fourteen new clients signed up in a week. My reaction? “Holy insert unladylike expletive here shit!” I actually got a bit stressed out. It was just too much and the work load that resulted from taking on that many new people at once was immense. After a few days of feeling like a crack addicted deer in the headlights, I realized that what I wanted was to get new clients, but at a much slower pace. And so, I focused on that, and the influx of clients immediately slowed down (I changed nothing on the site. This was all energy). I’m currently nearing the point where I’ll have to stop taking on new clients, since my schedule is about full, and the last slots have been filling up at a nice, easy pace.
There’s no danger that you’ll become too powerful, or that you’ll suddenly create chaos in your life. When you deliberately focus, you may turn on the spigot a bit too much and get a flood of manifestations at a pace that’s a bit too fast. So, you slow it down. But the idea that you could suddenly line up with all kinds of random crap, that your world could spin completely out of control, forgets to take the stability of our world into account. Think about it, if your normal, random, unaware focus didn’t cause your world to fall apart at the seams, then how is more consistent, aware focus going to cause that?
Also, remember that as you deliberately focus in a way that feels good, you line up with what you want, which includes getting it in a way you want it. So, if things start coming in too quickly, or in some other uncomfortable way, you simply adjust your vibration a little. You’re in the driver’s seat. You can hit the gas, ease up on the gas, or hit the brakes. You can also use the steering wheel. You have control over your reality, every aspect of your reality. Realizing just how much power you have won’t suddenly fill that reality with chaos (did you WANT the chaos?!). In fact, it’ll fill your reality with more and more stuff you want. And, as you learn to wield that power, you’ll be able to fill in your reality with more and more wanted details. It will just get more and more perfect. Going back to the food metaphor, it’s like your cooking skills will just get better and better. You’ll learn to differentiate between spices. You’ll get more sensitive to the subtleties of the flavors. You will NOT suddenly take a bite out of the couch cushion.
Have I convinced you that having loads of power is a good thing? Have you had to overcome the fear of being too powerful? Let me know in the comments!