Awesome Dude wants to know: “Hi. I have a question that seems quite bizarre to me, but I’m having a hard time understanding it. I have an uncle whom I hadn’t seen for years, and who has just been given 24 hours to live. Sadly, he’s riddled with cancer. Having spent the whole day in the hospital with him yesterday, along with many other family members, something very strange happened. Whilst sitting next to his bed, holding his hand in between both of mine, I felt the urge to squeeze his hand. It was as if something was coming out of my hands into his and travelling up his arm. I felt very breathless, even to the point of hyperventilation. I felt a strange sort of discomfort in my chest. He had not opened his eyes all day, but when this was happening, his eyes were open wide, staring into thin air. After about 3 minutes it came to an end and his eyes closed again. This was all while surrounded by other people in the room that noticed nothing (I don’t think!). He has not yet passed, but I have spent the entire day today with the most dreadful back ache and pains all up the left hand side of my body. I suppose I feel a little embarrassed to mention this to anyone here at home, although I’m wondering what happened. Did I imagine it and am I allowing my imagination to run wild, or have I somehow taken on some of his illness? His primary cancer is in the lung. Could this be at all possible?”
Hey Awesome Dude,
First, let me assure you that you didn’t take on your uncle’s cancer. That’s not possible. But it wasn’t your imagination, either. Here’s what most likely happened, based on what you’ve told me here:
No one likes to see suffering
Even though you hadn’t seen your uncle in a long time, seeing him in his condition clearly had an effect on you. You wanted to help, so much so, that you spontaneously took his hand and started to stream energy towards him. So far, so good. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to help, and nothing wrong with making physical contact in order to exchange energy. The very best thing you can do for someone who is suffering is to keep your vibration high and then focus on them through the lens of that higher vibration. Only, that’s not exactly what happened.
Instead of you keeping your vibration nice and stable (which is very hard to do when you’re not even aware of what you’re doing) and then allowing him to match you, you clearly lowered your vibration a bit to match his. Or rather, you probably met each other half way. You could see his response to your energy exchange, so clearly you let some of your higher vibration raise him up. But at some point, you lost your footing and let your vibration slide on down a bit. And THIS is what caused your physical symptoms. You didn’t take on his cancer.
Why did this happen?
At this point, you may be wondering why you’d manifest this experience in the first place. Well, there could be several reasons. You may, for example, have some fear of disease or death that’s manifesting here.
However, you’re clearly sensitive to energy and a naturally gifted healer. This experience may have been a huge opportunity for you to develop your healing abilities in fantastic, Technicolor detail. You may have a fear of “taking on other people’s diseases”, which just surfaced here. This could also be a general fear of losing control. If you’ve had some negative experiences with being affected by other people’s energy, then this would be quite natural.
Perhaps you have a pre-birth intention to be some kind of healer or teacher, and this experience showed you that (plus, what you still need to learn to do that kind of work without hurting yourself.)
Healing without taking on the suffering
There is a way to heal others without taking on their lower vibration. You have to become detached. Family members and others you care deeply about are hardest to detach from, and many healers and shamans refuse to work on those they love, precisely because they can’t achieve 100% detachment with their loved ones. But it is possible to learn to stabilize your vibration to the point where you can help others without it affecting you negatively.
In short, you must learn to stay in a good feeling place, no matter how much pain they’re in. You have to learn to connect with their higher selves, that part of them that doesn’t experience illness or pain and give that all of your attention and love. If you can stay connected to that part of them, they will be affected by your energy, but you won’t take on theirs.
What can you do now?
Of course, you don’t have to heal anyone, if you don’t want to; there’s no obligation here. But this kind of incident does point to a natural affinity for healing, so it’s something you may want to look into.
In the meantime, here’s what you can do to feel better now:
- Stop freaking out. The only way you’ll get cancer from this is to be super afraid that you’ve somehow given yourself cancer. Your back pain is the manifestation of your resistance. Cancer was your uncle’s manifestation of his resistance. Your resistance is not the same and your manifestations are not the same.
- Realize that this may very well have been a really good thing – a sign of things to come, loaded with information on what you should focus on in order to get ready (if you choose to).
- Meditate. Don’t focus on the pain or on your fear around it. Do what you can to calm your mind and let go of these thoughts. If you’re not sure how to meditate, this article will teach you a simple but very effective technique.
- Raise your vibration any way you can. Meditation will help a lot with this, but so will playing video games, or taking a walk, or reading a trashy novel or anything that makes you feel better. Distract yourself, if you need to, and do whatever it takes to feel better. As you do, the pain will subside.
My personal experience
I’ve always naturally streamed energy at people and have often had the urge to take their hand. They always ended up feeling better, but I was usually left feeling drained. At one point, I learned to do Reiki and not long after my initiation, my grandmother transitioned. After the funeral, I ended up doing Reiki treatments on my entire family. They all felt a lot better. The next day when I woke up, I felt like I had a massive case of the stomach flu. Everyone else in the family felt fine while I lay on the bathroom floor, curled into the fetal position. I had to fly home that day and ended up passing out on the plane mid-flight (caused a bit of stress for the poor flight attendants…) I was in horrible, horrible shape, but 24 hours later, I was ok again. Coincidence? Well, I could’ve thought so, except that it happened again the next time I did Reiki on someone. The circumstances weren’t nearly as tragic that time, and my reaction was proportionately reduced, but I still had a very hard time the day after treatment. After that, I stopped doing Reiki until I found some clarity on what had happened.
I never did start back up with Reiki (I no longer really resonate with it, but I have great respect for it), but I have occasionally given someone a recharge by taking their hand, without suffering any ill effects, thanks to an ability to detach. And of course, when I coach, I do the exact same thing (only with no touching), without any negative consequences (anymore).
The following post explains the perils of being an empath (of which you are one), and how to “protect” yourself from taking on other people’s energy.
Coaching Call #006 also deals with this exact same issue in much greater detail (and no, this one’s not free, but it’s only ten bucks):
What do you think? Have you ever made yourself ill while trying to help someone who was suffering? I know that there are quite a few accomplished healers in this crow, so I’m looking forward to the comments.