I’ve written pretty extensively about anger in the past.
The Power of Anger and Why It’s Ok to be Angry (Article & Audio)
Negative Emotions: Anger (Video)
One of my regular readers, Awesome Alice, has now posed some interesting follow up questions about anger, which I’m happy to answer in today’s post.
“Why do authority figures get angry? They have lots of power over one or many people.”
Authority figures are just normal people like you and me. They are not immune from any emotional responses. However, that being said, there are some interesting traits that many (not all) authority figures share.
Those who seek positions of power often do so because they feel powerless themselves. They are hoping that by gaining power over others, they will feel better. When you put a person who feels powerless in a position of authority, they don’t suddenly release all the reasons they feel that way in the first place. So, even if they temporarily feel better, over time, that powerlessness will resurface. They will begin to attract those who highlight that powerlessness (like employees who question them, or projects that don’t go the way they want them to, or situations that are beyond their control), making them MORE aware of how horrible they are feeling.
The emotion that feels better than powerlessness is Anger. True powerlessness results from the thought “I’m broken”, or one of its many cousins. When you change the focus from yourself towards others or the world, “I’m broken” becomes “You’re broken”. “It’s all my fault” turns into “It’s all your/their fault”. Now, these aren’t good feeling, positive, happy shiny thoughts, but they do feel better than “I’m broken”.
Having authority doesn’t make you angry. Feeling powerless and wanting to feel better will pull you towards anger (and if you manage to release that anger and move through it, you’ll actually feel a better). So, it makes sense that professions that attract those who feel powerless would be filled with a lot of angry people.
“Why is the Bible Lord always so angry in the old testament? He’s OMNIPOTENT!”
You have to understand that when the bible was written, the global energy was in a very different place. The words in that book were written through the lens of the beliefs of the authors, even if they were inspired (some were, some weren’t). Again, it comes down to degrees of powerlessness. The people of that time led harsh lives and felt like they had little control over their fate. They generally felt quite helpless. There was a lot of anger within them, and they were often stuck in that emotional state (feeling empowered was not something that ordinary citizens were expected or even encouraged to do). An angry, vengeful God actually felt good to them. They liked the idea of an all powerful being, sitting in judgment of them, bringing some fairness to what they considered a completely random world. He could punish those who were bad, which would’ve been an empowering thought at the time (and still is for many). His anger and rage also explained all the horrible events in the world and that thought felt better than simply feeling like people were at the mercy of random incidents.
But what felt good to people 2000 years ago, no longer feels good to us today. We have evolved, vibrationally. We are in a completely different place. And although powerlessness still persists in much of the population, it’s not nearly as pervasive as it once was. Not even close. 2000 years ago, I would’ve been stoned to death for teaching what I teach. Now, a lot of people listen and those that don’t, usually don’t feel the need to kill me. They just dismiss me as a kook. 😉 While there are still some pockets of extremely powerless energy left here (matched by those who still use the bible to justify their violence, for example), for the most part, times have drastically changed.
We are now ready, not only for a loving God, but to understand that WE ARE GOD and that WE ARE LOVE. An all powerful, loving and yet vain and angry and vengeful God just doesn’t make sense to most of us anymore.
“What about people who have terrible tempers and allow themselves to express anger too much? Is my hot-headed father actually doing the right thing?”
Your hot headed father is doing the best he can. He is in pain and when he explodes, it’s like he’s relieving the pressure. The problem is usually that people like this never surpass the anger. They let off a bit of steam and then they go right back to feeling the pain. They never investigate why they are so angry, they don’t take a look at what’s really going on. And so, they briefly move into anger and then right back down again, instead of moving through anger and truly and permanently feeling better.
This is usually due to them stopping themselves from feeling all the anger and squashing it as soon as they feel just a bit better. We do this by feeling guilty, or by thinking that anger is inappropriate, or through a variety of other false beliefs. Releasing some anger takes the pressure off. It’s like the person loses control when the pressure gets too much (it is, quite literally, an explosion), but as soon as they’ve relieved it just a tad, they get a modicum of control back and then they shut the anger response down.
Your hot headed father is doing the only thing he can in the moment he explodes. Could he surpass his anger? Yes. But you can’t do anything to get him there. It’s his journey and you have to let him take it. But, as you raise your own vibration, he may be influenced by your energy and find ways to truly release the anger and finally get some permanent relief.
“Anger, sadness and happiness are on different parts of the emotional scale. What about ambivalence? I can be all of those at same time. Angry with tears, Angry and happy to yell… mixed together.”
When you’re feeling anger and happiness at the same time, you’re not actually feeling happiness. You’re feeling anger and the massive relief it brings you from your pain, discomfort and depression. Anger is empowering, which feels better than feeling powerless. And if the powerlessness has gone on for a long time, the relief of anger can be phenomenal and it can feel like happiness to you.
Tears are simply a sign of an energy shift/release. They will often come on as soon as you simply acknowledge your true feelings, which usually already causes a bit of a shift. Try not to stop yourself from crying if you can. By shutting down the physical response, we generally shut down the emotional response as well, which keeps us stuck right where we are.
“Anger is on the emotional scale just under neutral and boredom. Who would move into boredom on purpose?”
We don’t really move into boredom on purpose. But it’s valuable to know where boredom sits on the emotional scale, because we WILL hit it on our way from anger to more positive feelings.
After you’ve truly released anger, you can often find yourself in a bit of a void, where you just kind of feel blah. You feel bored and nothing seems to interest you. This is particularly the case when you’ve made a LARGE shift in energy. You have to get acclimated to your new vibration before you can truly feel the positive emotions you now have access to. It’s a bit like when you smash your thumb with a hammer and then you stop. The pain might be gone, but it’s going to take a bit of time before you can feel a softer, pleasant sensation, like someone caressing your skin. Your thumb is going to be numb for a little while before the sensation returns.
Boredom is kind of like this emotional numbness. It’s temporary. And while you’d never choose to move into boredom, you will naturally pass through it on your way to happiness. It’s good to know that it’s part of the process, so that when it happens, you don’t freak out. 🙂
Now it’s your turn. Do you have any questions about or experiences with anger? Share your valuable insights in the comments!