Please welcome back Mary Carol Moran, who wrote today’s beautiful post.
It’s been about six weeks since my Soul showed up and moved in. After years of meditating, hoping for wisdom, waiting for something, not knowing what to expect… my Soul introduced herself on April 9, 2012. I’ve written about the experience and my first impressions in another post. This is an update from six weeks later.
First, I have to say it’s awesome, amazing, every other superlative you can think of and then multiply by a gazillion or so. Every instant of every day, I’m never alone – in the best possible way. Difficulties evaporate much faster, often in seconds. Unexpected cool things happen all the time.
But, and this has surprised me, it’s still an adjustment. Change is change – even when it’s perfect, it’s still change.
Stuff that used to slide by doesn’t any more. My tolerance for disquiet has bottomed out. For example, I was wandering around in WalMart to kill time before an appointment. I had been fine buying necessities: vanilla, toilet paper, mustard. But when I looked at some towels, I got nauseous. I don’t need more towels. I used to enjoy just looking at things – not anymore. The vibration of consumerism DOES NOT EQUATE with my Soul’s vibration, and my body let me know immediately.
Another example: Something about my early morning yoga class wasn’t working for me, but I wasn’t sure what. I decided to go anyway, and the first day, no taxis passed by and I arrived fifteen minutes late. That night, I couldn’t sleep, and ended up sending a message to the lovely instructor that I couldn’t make it to class. The following day, I got there, the class was wonderful, and within a few minutes I knew exactly what was going on.
My Soul vibrates to a stretching class with plenty of meditation. I want to be in an alpha state for the whole class, and counting and working with weights interrupted my bliss. Mind you, six weeks ago I loved this stuff. Now, it doesn’t work, and I literally can’t do it. Taxis don’t come – my body refuses to go to sleep – I cannot force myself to go.
People I’d rather not be around – can’t be around them.
Activities that don’t resonate with my soul – can’t do them.
I used to have a goal to spend my time with people and activities that made me feel good. Now, it’s THE LAW. At the moment, making the adjustments, it’s a bit awkward. I will have a conversation with my yoga teacher. Good news is, thank you Soul, I have the words to explain the situation to her.
So, what’s the upside? Huge! I’m an empath, and get buffeted by emotions, often mistaking them for my own. This morning I walked into a room and felt a surge of sadness, a deep sorrow. Before, this would have thrown off my whole day: feeling awful, eventually analyzing the emotion, and wanting to help whoever felt so bad. Today, within seconds, I asked for and felt my Soul touch my hand, and the sorrow melted away. In Melody’s terms, in the past I let my vibration lower (though it seemed involuntary and uncontrollable to me). Today, I felt and acknowledged the sorrow, without taking it on as my own.
Did the sad person feel better? I don’t know, and honestly it’s none of my business. My joy may have given her a boost, but that was her choice to make. I’m glad I felt her sorrow, and I’m glad I let it go. It could be that my acknowledging it (not in words or actions, but with compassionate energy) somehow eased her. I hope so.
Melody had convinced me months ago that the best you can do in any circumstance is to maintain your own happiness, your vibration – it’s contagious. The problem was, I couldn’t do it. Now I can. Thank you Soul!
So what is it like, overall, living with your Soul? I’m a writer, and when I write I get into the flow. It can sometimes feel like the manic half of manic depression. I once wrote a novel in seven days, nonstop. It was published within a year and sold out 10,000 copies in a few months. Poems come the same way. Scientifically, it’s an alpha state.
Living with my Soul means being in the flow all the time, but without the manic undertones. Time passes without my noticing. I find I need more sleep. A challenge I haven’t sorted out yet is the relationship between doing and being. The old flow was all about doing, but this Soul flow state isn’t about doing. I’m slowly letting go of the desire to accomplish… anything. What pure “being” will look like and feel like, I can’t yet say.
Does some of this resonate with you? Do you recognize yourself here? Please let me know. I look forward to reading your always valuable comments. Warm hugs,
Mary Carol Moran lives in Mexico, where she spreads love and awareness and poetry. Her latest project is an animal shelter for puppies and kitties. Check it out and support the site by liking it here: Amigos de Perros y Gatos Colima