This is another guest post by Mary Carol Moran. Enjoy!
One of the limiting beliefs that I’ve been told (by my intuition, guides, Higher Self) that I have to let go of is that I am a responsible person. This is huge!
My first reaction was disbelief. What? I thought taking responsibility was a good thing. Turns out not. Here’s why.
When I’m responsible, I take on the emotional baggage of getting whatever it is done. For example, if I’m responsible for dinner, then if I don’t arrange dinner (cook, order in, eat out, whatever), nobody eats. I feel guilty, and everybody else feels blame. Wrong!
Let’s look at this in reverse. Guilt isn’t fun, so I’m not going to feel guilty. How am I going to avoid feeling guilty? I’m not going to take on the responsibility in the first place. This doesn’t mean I won’t cook, order in, whatever. It just means that if something comes up, or I change my mind, or anything changes, it wasn’t my responsibility in the first place, so there’s no guilt and no blame. And the reality is, one way or another, we’re going to eat.
When I say I’m not going to be a responsible person, what changes? First, I’m not going to say at breakfast, “I’ll make dinner tonight,” disempowering everybody else, robbing them of choice, and putting pressure on me all day. Instead, I might say, “What shall we do about dinner tonight?” Whew! That lets everybody off the hook, or puts everybody on. Either way, everybody’s equal. No guilt, no blame, no matter what.
That stretches the making dinner example to its limits, but it’s a metaphor for bigger things. From an LOA perspective, my taking responsibility lowers everyone’s vibration, including mine.
I’m a volunteer at animal control, and I used to be a very responsible volunteer. I mothered all of the dogs. Would they be adopted? Would they go to great homes? Trouble is that the dogs (and/or the Universe) picked up my responsibility=anxiety. Animals are intuitive that way, and we can learn a lot about our subliminal effects on people by watching our observable effects on animals. My sense of responsibility was robbing these lovely animals of their innate power and self-worth.
As a not-responsible person, I give them the dignity of their individual lives. I can love them as much as I want, but I don’t put emotional energy into controlling their fate. The giant responsibility sandbag has dropped off my airship. I’ve stopped worrying about the dogs in the shelter. I no longer visit every day; my presence is welcome but not “needed.”
And the most amazing thing has happened. The day I stopped obsessing, people started pouring into the shelter, adopting like crazy. My favorite sweetie that I had been most worried about was adopted by a family on the day I didn’t go. It was like I needed to get out of her way (the Universe’s way!). Yesterday in the hour and a half I walked dogs, five were adopted. Holy shmoly! Five!
I realize now that being responsible is living outside the moment. When I let go of responsibility, I can be present, right here, in the moment, each moment. The dogs sense that. We may only have a five minute walk together, but it’s five unclouded minutes of pure joy and widdles and poop.
I can hear the “But….” How is not being a responsible person different from being irresponsible? Our whole society is geared around responsibility. I told the boss I’d get this report done before I leave. My kids need me to take them to ballet class. And on and on…
To me, being irresponsible is putting someone else in danger, whether it’s your company losing a contract or your kids being abandoned at school. Not good! So being not-responsible, rather than irresponsible, takes some planning. It’s letting everybody know in advance that whatever they want to happen is ultimately up to them. It’s making sure you can comfortably deliver. It’s not over-scheduling. It’s having alternatives available. It’s embracing wholeheartedly: I’ll do the best I can, but the outcome is not my responsibility.
Just like at animal control, when you let go of the reins of responsibility, the vibration of everyone around you will rise. Your co-workers, even those slackers you avoid having on your team, will feel empowered because you aren’t taking their initiative. Your children will know that you see them as the powerful short beings that they are. They might even make dinner! Who knows what amazing and wonderful things will happen when you just let go?
Essentially, taking responsibility is saying, “I’m more powerful than you.” Refusing to take responsibility is saying, “We’re equal.” We’re human, or canine, or feline. We’re here in the moment, each doing the best we can. It’s saying to the Universe, “Let’s go!”
How are you going to be Not Responsible? Is this a limiting belief you are ready to release? Do you have a “But…?” As always, your comments are what make the blog work. Please share your insights, questions, stories, and otherwise awesome thoughts!
Mary Carol Moran lives in Mexico, where she spreads love and awareness and poetry. Her latest project is an animal shelter for puppies and kitties. Check it out and support the site by liking it here: Amigos de Perros y Gatos Colima