[Quick Update: As many of you have noticed and commented on, the tone of the blog has gotten decidedly more humorous, as I’ve let more and more of my actual personality out of its, until now, tightly controlled bag. I’ve changed the Home and About pages of the Deliberate Receiving site to match this new tone. While I was at it, I thought, why not go ahead and be completely authentic. So, I did something that I have to admit, I’ve been too chicken to do up until now: I posted a fat picture of myself on my About page. I found a picture of myself at my heaviest days (there aren’t many) and put it up on a website for all to see. Posting that photo represents the last little bit of accepting myself, no matter what I look like. I’m ok with the woman in that picture. And I get such satisfaction from knowing that she used to dream of the day when there would be an “After” shot. That day has come now. I’ll write more extensively about this subject in the future, but I didn’t want to wait until I had a free slot in my rather full blogging queue to post this. When the time is right, you just know. Now, on to today’s blog post:]
This is Part II in the series on manifesting the job you love. In How to Love your Sucky Job, I explained that it’s possible to hate or love any job, and that happiness at work isn’t just for other people – it’s an achievable goal for you, as well. In that post, I told you not to worry about the “how” just yet, but to simply ponder the question: “What if I could find a way to actually like my job?” Today, I’m going to explain what you can actually do to make that a reality.
First of all, let’s set one thing straight:
Your working environment does not determine how you feel about your job. How you feel about your job determines your work environment.
Everything starts with your vibration. You are the creator and receiver of your reality, all of it. Your vibration, which is a collection of your chronic thoughts and beliefs, determines what you allow into your world. So everything you see around you, everything you experience, is a direct result of what you’re thinking about.
Change the way you feel and your environment will change
The first step is to change the way you feel about your job. I don’t mean going into denial, which is looking at what you don’t like and pretending that it doesn’t bother you. That will slowly destroy your soul. I mean actually improving how you feel about your job (find out how to do that below).
Feeling better about your job is its own reward. Your stress levels will go down, your ulcer will heal, your frown lines will soften, your blood pressure will go down and your hair will grow back. (Disclaimer: your hair may not actually grow back, but you’ll stop ripping out the little bit you have left).
But, it doesn’t stop there. Feeling better about your job is the indicator that your vibration has changed. And when you can hold this higher vibration for a bit, your reality will change to match it. It has to. That’s the Law of Attraction. Your vibration attracts the reality that matches it. Change your vibration and you’ll change your reality.
“But,” I can hear you protesting now, “you haven’t met my boss. He’s the spawn of demons. He makes Genghis Khan look like Mother Theresa. (In drag. Obviously.) There is no way that anything I can do will change this man.” Well, not if you take the action journey, no. There is nothing you can say to your demon spawn boss to make him change. You can’t convince him to be less of a dick(tator). But I’m not asking you to. You do not have to confront him or coach him or complain to his superiors. You don’t have to change him at all. You have to change yourself. Here’s how:
Quit your bitching
Seriously. Stop complaining about your job. Every time you do, you’re looking at everything you don’t like about your current reality and shouting “More of this please!” What you see in your physical reality was created by your past vibration. By focusing on what you don’t like and talking about it, you keep your vibration at that exact same level – you continuously recreate the reality you don’t like. If you want to change your reality, including your working environment, you’ll have to change your vibration and hold it long enough for your creation to catch up. And the first step is to stop talking about all the stuff you hate and why it’s so terrible.
Haven’t you noticed that when you get together with others to complain, it just seems to go on and on? It’s like you’re fueling each other. Well, you are! You’re adding to the energy that will create more of the same. Stop it already.
Find something positive about your job
Find something about your job that you can feel good about. Again, I don’t mean that you should look at something you hate and pretend to like it. Find something that genuinely already feels good. It could be anything. It may be something very small. It doesn’t matter. If you’ve spent a lot of time hating your job, it might be really difficult for you to find something you like, but you can do it. The tiniest thing will do. What you’re doing is getting a foothold in something that has a slightly higher vibration. It’s the vibration that counts, not the importance of what you’re looking at, so if the only thing you can come up with is that they have awesome donuts, go with it.
Focus on and talk about that positive thing
Just as when you complain, you’re adding to the energy that creates what you don’t like, you can add to the energy of what you do like by focusing on that and talking about it. So, if your office has awesome donuts, think about those donuts. Talk (even to yourself, if you have to) about why they’re so awesome. Spend some real time focusing on what exactly you like about them. And if you’re worried about being seen as the nutter who sits in the corner muttering to himself about donuts, do this at home.
Make lists of all the things you like
Now, try to think of something else that you like about the office. Once you’ve spent a little bit of time on a higher vibration, you’ll suddenly find it easier to come up with some other aspects of your job that aren’t so bad. Perhaps the receptionist is friendly. The computers are state of the art, which is actually kind of nice. The parking is convenient. Again, the relative significance of what you’re thinking about isn’t important. The key is that whatever you think about has to feel better. Talk about each item, what you like about it, why you like it, etc. Give the energy a chance to gather, so that you can move further up the vibrational ladder. Keep finding more and more things to like, write them down and talk about them.
Notice that you feel better
At this point, take a moment to notice that you’ve just deliberately made yourself feel better. How does your body feel? Are you less tense? Is the knot in your stomach still as tight? Do you still have a headache? Does the world seem just a little brighter? You did that. You deliberately worked yourself into a higher, better feeling vibration. Savor your success.
Focus on what you like about the people at your job
Once you’ve gotten some energy going in the right direction, you can begin to focus on the people at your job. I don’t recommend starting with the person you have the most problems with – the coworker you hate the most, or your demon spawn boss. Start with easy targets. The friendly receptionist. The intern who’s obliviously happy. The perpetually stoned mailroom dude who doesn’t give a shit. Make lists of the traits each of these people has that you can feel good about. These can be professional or personal. This is just for you. Again, it doesn’t matter if you have to start with little things, like “well groomed” or “always polite”. Just get some energy going. As you gather more momentum, you’ll be able to move on to more “important” aspects.
Finally, turn your attention to your nemesis
I can’t stress this enough: DO NOT start this whole process by focusing on the one person that you’ve identified all your negative feelings with and try to work them into a better feeling place. You have to gather some momentum first and work your way up to a higher vibration before you even attempt this. But once you’ve done that, the time will come when you’ll want to turn your attention to this person (or aspect of the job). In fact, if you’re not in a higher vibrational place, this next bit is going to sound bat shit crazy to you:
Send them some love. I don’t mean in a card or anything. Sit in a quiet place, meditate a little, bring the image of this person into your mind and send them some love. See them not as the irritating bastard you’ve been having to deal with, but as spirit in human form. You have no idea why they are acting the way they are. Perhaps they have a great deal of pain of their own. Perhaps they’re desperately unhappy. It doesn’t matter, but try to see that it’s got nothing to do with you personally. Forgive them and send them some love. Spend some real time (at least 20 minutes) holding on to this energy. You should feel a powerful shift during this exercise (it feels like relief, like a pressure being lifted off you). If you just find it annoying, you’ve tried to do this too early. Go back to focusing on the donuts.
Don’t get lazy
Continue to practice consciously feeling better. Especially at the beginning, it’ll be easy to get sucked back into the complaining mode. Keep in mind how dangerous that is. Which creation do you want to give your energy to? What do you want more of? Pay attention to how you feel. Remember that your emotions are your vibrational indicators. When you feel good, you’re focusing on things that will bring you more to feel good about. When you’re feeling bitchy, you’re asking for more to bitch about. Stay vigilant.
This is your work. You don’t have to manually change anything, you just have to feel better. Do this consistently and your environment will change. Perhaps the people at your job will actually get nicer and more fun. Or the people you don’t get along with will come around a lot less. It’s also possible that you’ll be inspired to find a new job (i.e. the job will basically find you.)
It will continue to get better
This exercise isn’t just about turning a sucky job into one that doesn’t bother you as much. If you continue to work this system, you’ll raise your vibration further and further. This will attract better and better scenarios until you find yourself in the job of your dreams – something you’re truly passionate about. Something that ticks all your boxes. This is how it’s done. There’s not a job in the world that will take your miserable ass and make it happy. The jobs you have access to will always match how you feel. Change the way you feel, however, and the jobs you have access to will, as well. And the day will come when you find yourself in a situation that your former, bitchy, complaining self couldn’t have even imagined.
So, what are you going to do now? Will you complain some more or will you go and find something you can feel good about?