I spent the last 4 days moving this blog from my rather unreliable host, who shall remain nameless (but it rhymes with Schmoladdy), to a much better one. If you’ve noticed some slowness or problems accessing the site, that should all be taken care of. I took the opportunity to install a new theme and add some much wished for functionality. Along the way, I ran into a couple of snags, which tested my admittedly limited technical prowess. In other words, the screen was filled with error messages and I had no idea what to do next. I dialed up the technical support desk of my new host (Webhosting Hub, they deserve the plug!), and not only did I immediately get someone on the line (honestly, no waiting, I almost fell off my chair), the technician was attentive, polite and above all, competent. After he finished fixing my issue, I asked him for his manager’s email and promptly sent of a paragraph of glowing praise.
And then I realized something: I felt incredibly good. Yes, I know, that seems rather self-evident: giving praise feels good. Duh. But my insight went a bit deeper than that (give me some credit…) We know that getting praise generally feels great, and that giving praise fills us with farm fuzzy feelings because we love to make others feel good, right? It turns out that there’s more to it than that.
When we give praise, we do a couple of things:
- We notice something we like and focus on it, instead of focusing on the stuff we don’t like.
- We define exactly what it is that we like. In order to praise someone or something, we have to get at least somewhat specific about what it is that we liked.
- We get into the feeling of gratitude, which is a very high vibration. By expressing that gratitude instead of just thinking it, we’re ramping up the intensity of that frequency – we become little projectors of thankfulness. Talking about something you’re feeling strengthens and prolongs the energy of it (this works with negative thoughts, too!)
- By noticing and focusing upon what we like, getting specific about it and doing all of that while in entrenched in the vibration of gratitude, we are basically shouting to the Universe: “I love this! More experiences like this, please!”
The whole exercise of praising someone (genuinely, mind you) massively raises our vibration and that gets us close to the vibration of all the good stuff we want – material or otherwise.
Everything you want is waiting for you
You see, everything we’ve ever wanted has been created for us. It’s all just waiting for us to receive it. But our desires aren’t hanging around in the frequency of frustration and anger or complaining and desperation. They’re vibrating at a very high frequency and the fastest way to match that frequency and line up with everything we want is to raise our vibration.
If we could spend our every waking moment just appreciating everything around us, we’d get everything we’ve ever wanted in no time.
You can’t cheat
The trick is: you have to mean it. You can’t cheat and just walk around telling people that you appreciate them. Not only will you not feel better, they’ll recognize your fakeness and think you’re a douchebag. Remember that words don’t actually mean anything, it’s the vibration behind them that creates. Your words WILL amplify your vibration, but only if they are a match to what you’re actually feeling.
Praising others is about YOU
So you see, appreciating and praising others doesn’t really have anything to do with them. When we tell someone “thank you” and take the time to go into detail why we appreciate them, we think that our subsequent good feelings come from our thoughts of “I made someone feel good. I’m a good person.” And yes, that can be part of the equation. But mostly, if the praise was genuine, we’ve just given our energy levels a significant bump.
When was the last time you actually took the time to tell someone how much you appreciated them and why? Here are a few suggestions, to get you started:
- The next time you get great service in a restaurant or café, don’t just leave a good tip. Take the time to go and speak to the manager and tell them what an awesome server they have working for them. I used to work in the restaurant industry, and trust me, hardly anyone ever does this.
- Take the time to fill out those corporate “How are we doing” cards they have in a lot of businesses. Be specific about what you liked. Don’t focus on improvements, even though they ask for them. This isn’t about “helping”, this is about raising your vibration. And complaining, even constructively, has the opposite effect.
- The next time you’re in one of those small, quaint shops, tell the owner how much you love it and why. If you haven’t been in a small shop in a while, go visit one. There’s so much to appreciate.
- The next time someone cooks for you, tell them how good it is. Don’t take it for granted, just because they’re your mom, wife, or boyfriend… If you’re the one who’s cooking, take a moment to appreciate how great it is and tell yourself.
- Tell your employees what you like about them, not just professionally, but personally. You don’t have to get too mushy, but telling someone how much you like their honesty, directness, intelligence, sense of humor, etc. will make them feel great. It will also get you to focus on ALL their good traits. Employees aren’t robots. Look at the whole person.
- Tell your boss what you like about him or her. As long as you’re genuine, this doesn’t make you an ass-kisser. I’ve done this in the past, and I can tell you, it’s amazing. No one ever does this. The more “powerful” this person’s position is, the more shocked and touched they’ll be. I’ve also been on the receiving end of this. One instance that stands out is an employee who wrote me a heartfelt letter to tell me how much he appreciated me as a person and my management style, and especially how I impacted him after his father died. I still have that letter.
- Tell your parents why they were the perfect parents for you. Be prepared for tears. If you need inspiration for this, go watch my Mother’s Day Video. This is actually a great technique for clearing out all kinds of mommy and daddy issues you may have. 🙂
The more things you find to appreciate, and the more enthusiastically you praise them, the more you’ll have to be thankful for. This isn’t just some saying. The Law of Attraction must bring you more things that make you feel that way, providing it becomes your dominant vibration. So, the next time you find yourself complaining about something, picking out the things that bother you, stop and look for what’s going well. Because here’s the dirty little secret that we tend to forget: for everything that goes wrong, there are thousands, even millions of things that go right. We’ve just trained ourselves not to notice them anymore.
Who will you praise today?