I curse. I freely, openly and sometimes graphically express myself. I always have. I love words, the way we can use them to express our thoughts and feelings, and elicit responses from others. Words can convey meaning and emotion, and connect us with others. And dirty words are part of language, whether some people like it or not. I’m not writing this post to confront anyone, you can like cursing or not, it really doesn’t matter to me. And it’s not my intention to offend anyone, which is why I omit the worst of the worst on this blog (I will make implications though). The reason I decided to express my views on this topic is because a lot of fellow spiritual seekers think that if you’re spiritual, if you’re connected, the F-Word suddenly becomes off limits to you. I disagree.
I remember being admonished once by another teacher, for dropping the F-Bomb in conversation. He wasn’t offended, he simply wanted me to realize that words have power, and I had to be careful how I expressed myself. I could actually inflict wounds upon people and the world by choosing the wrong words. This view has since been reiterated to me (not necessarily in response to my language) on several occasions. Watch what you say, it might come back to bite you in the ass. Um, no.
Words are a way to express energy, one of many. And as with all those forms, what matters is not the medium itself, but the energy behind it. In other words, not all F-Bombs are created equal. I think curse words are funny. They get people’s attention. I use them to emphasize a point, to break up tension, to highlight emotional peaks.
A curse word said in anger, will express the vibration of anger. It will make people who do not resonate with that emotion uncomfortable. They may attribute that discomfort to that awful dirty word, but it was really the energy behind the word that caused their feelings. A curse word said in happiness, doesn’t have the same effect.
I’m not advocating that everyone go out and curse their hineys off. You should do whatever you feel good about. My point is this: Words themselves don’t have any power, other than that which we attribute to them. If you routinely curse, evaluate why. If you’re expressing hostility, anger or are using the words to keep others at bay, you’ll want to deal with those feelings. But if, like me, you’re expressing joy and happiness and an aptly placed phrase gives you a giggle attack, then go for it. The words themselves don’t matter. It’s the energy behind them that does.
Having said that, I used to curse very differently than I do now. This was quite a few years ago, but I expressed the emotions I felt at the time – frustration, anger, at times even rage. The cursing was ugly (as was any other, curse free expression of those emotions). I wanted to make others squirm, I wanted to push them away. I wanted to confront them with their own limiting thoughts and smoosh their faces into them. If someone was offended by my words, I cursed all the more. Deal with it, was my motto.
Now, I curse much less. I express far different emotions. If someone is offended (although I can’t remember the last time someone was), I stop. That’s not my goal and if it doesn’t cost me anything to respect their wishes, I do. As I use my intuition more and more, I don’t tend to curse around people who it would bother. It just doesn’t feel right to me (this is the reason I don’t curse outright on this blog. I’m guessing there are readers out there who would be distracted by it, and would no longer be able to hear the message). And when I do occasionally (or not so occasionally) drop an expletive into the conversation, I do it with glee. I do it on purpose, quite deliberately, to express a certain intention and elicit a certain response.
So, if you’re a spiritual person and you want to curse, I say go for it. Be aware of what you’re expressing, but as long as the energy behind your words is positive, you’re not going to hurt yourself or wound the world. Do what makes you feel good, say what you mean and feel, and don’t ever let anyone tell you that you, being you, is inappropriate. Use language and any form of energy expression in whatever way feels most authentic to you. Don’t curse out of spite, and use your intuition to know when others will react the way you want them to (hopefully positively). Feel free to express who you really are, even if, for you, that includes the occasional F-Bomb.